- [Amanda] Hey, Psych2Go-ers.
Initiating a bit of flirtation and romance can be difficult,
especially if you're unsure
if the person you like feels the same way about you.
How does your crush view you?
Are there any clues as to if they like you?
Well, here are six signs
your crush doesn't romantically like you.
Number one,
they don't pay attention to you at all in a large group.
Does your crush pay attention to you at parties?
You may be the best of buds
when you're working on assignments in class,
but as soon as there's a large group of people,
you're seemingly last on the list to interact with.
This is an easy sign your crush doesn't like you
as much as you'd hoped.
When we're attracted to someone,
we wanna be close to them or alone with them
to get to know more about them.
It's important to recognize
you aren't the center of their world,
but if someone likes you,
even a good friend,
they shouldn't be completely ditching you during an event
at the first sign of interaction from others.
If they subtly try to ignore you,
there's still good news.
You're at a party!
There's plenty of interesting individuals
to talk to and make friends with.
Number two,
they keep distance and put up barriers
between the two of you.
Does your crush often talk to you
with their body turned away?
Do they subconsciously hold their bag in front of them?
Do they scoot away when you speak to them?
(groans) Well, according to psychologist Jack Schafer,
"People lean towards people they like
and distance themselves from people they dislike.
Inward leaning increases as rapport increases,"
meaning you may first turn your head toward someone,
then your shoulders, followed by your torso.
Then if you're really interested in what someone has to say,
you'll lean towards them.
So when someone is attracted to another person,
odds are they may just lean towards them
when they get the chance.
Not just for a kiss,
but because they are deeply interested
in what you have to say and who you are.
Dr. Jack Schafer also explains in "Psychology Today"
that people who like each other
remove any obstacles between them.
He continues to say a barrier does not necessarily mean
that the person doesn't like you,
but it does let you know
that rapport has not yet been established.
So, that bag in front of them may not mean they hate you,
but it may just show that rapport isn't as strong
as you'd hoped it to be.
Number three,
they ghost you or always take long pauses to reply.
Does your crush leave you on read for days?
Well, taking days to respond
to a simple question or a text is often a clear signal
they're not that into you.
If they ghost you,
that should be further proof.
Perhaps they have a good explanation
as to why they've been absent,
but most times, ghosting is a clear sign
they don't view you in that way.
Number four,
you always initiate the talking.
Do you initiate all the conversations with your crush?
You always ask them first how they are in class.
You're always the first to reach out through text.
Well, this is a good sign they just aren't that into you.
If someone likes you romantically or as a friend,
they'll make an effort to start a conversation with you
and ask about your general wellbeing at the least.
If they don't seem to care,
it's best to move on and talk to someone who actually does.
Even just a, "How are you?"
shows they may at least care as a friend.
Number five,
you are the only one who asks to meet up or hang out.
So, you may or may not have just been on a date
with the person you admire,
but every time you do make plans and hang out,
you're the one asking them out.
You put all the effort into the relationship,
friendly or romantic.
Let's say you happen to be alone with them by chance
after lunch or school.
If you're still the only one thinking
of what interesting things you could be doing
to fill the time,
they likely don't view you as a romantic interest.
And number six,
they don't smile or laugh at your jokes.
Are you the class clown?
Do you like a good joke here or there?
Does your crush smile at your futile attempts at jokes
or do they sit there blank-faced?
Generally, if you like someone,
you'll often smile around them.
If that someone tries to make a cheesy joke,
you'll often wanna smile at their attempt anyway.
People often don't want to appear cold to their crush,
so even a polite smile is common if they like you.
If they opt out of smiling when talking with you completely,
it's likely a sign your crush simply doesn't like you.
But don't worry, (chuckles)
I think your jokes are funny.
So, do you notice any of these signs from your crush?
If you're still unsure of how they feel,
it might be a good idea to just ask them
or let them know how you feel about them.
Even if they let you know they don't like you in that way,
there are plenty of fish in the sea.
Yeah, it's a common phrase,
but it's true!
Just remember, if they don't laugh at your silly jokes,
odds are there's someone out there who will,
so keep your heart and mind open and keep on smiling,
even at your own jokes.
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