How are you?
I am good, Paul.
It's good to see you.
It's been a while since you were here.
I know, I was about four years old the last time I saw you.
Yes, and I was seven.
Yeah.
Yes.
Well, you look good.
You're all grown up, you're a man now,
and you've turned out well.
Yeah.
Where are you right now?
I'm in Brooklyn.
I'm in Brooklyn Heights, in fact.
Oh, I've been to Brooklyn just to do some filming
and stuff there, but it's a happening place, isn't it?
Brooklyn has turned out to be the place to be.
I wouldn't know.
I've only been here a year, and I've been inside this house.
Oh.
Well, when you get outside, you're gonna love it.
I can't wait.
Yeah.
So Brooklyn, it's been lots of snow lately, huh?
Yeah, there's been a crazy amount of snow,
and I guess-- we moved from Manhattan,
and we were in an apartment block,
and now I have to take care of my own stoop and sidewalk,
I guess you say, right?
We say pavement.
In front of the house, and so I've
been doing that diligently, and I
noticed that my next door neighbor never
cleans his stoop or sidewalk.
So I decided, you know, I'm going
to do the neighborly thing.
I'm going to clean it.
Right, so I started cleaning it.
And then, as I was doing it, I started
realizing I was getting to the end of doing it
and nobody had noticed that I had done it.
I'm really massively shallow, and so that felt awful.
I started making a lot of noise, sort
of scraping, banging, and whistling,
and literally nobody--
it was like a tree falling in a--
are there trees in deserts?
I don't know.
But if a tree fell in the desert and it made no noise--
Right.
Was there a noise?
Did I clean the stoop?
Anyway, suffice it to say I'm never sweeping somebody else's
sidewalk or stoop ever again.
No.
Well, hopefully they see this and know that you're
a wonderful neighbor.
But I would--
The whole reason I've come on the show
was to make this clear.
Right.
I did your stoop!
Yeah.
[LAUGHS]
All right.
Well, it seems like quarantine has not done anything to you.
You're fine.
You have children, right?
You have three children?
Well, I do.
One of them is very much an adult now, but yes.
Yes, I have three.
How old are they?
I have one that's 23, I have one that's 17,
and I have one that's 9, and they're marvelous.
Well, and the 17-year-old, I assume, is driving.
No, the 17-year-old is not driving,
because New York City is too smart to allow
a 17-year-old to drive.
So, no, they're not driving, and I have never
thought about teaching them to drive, ever, ever, ever.
OK.
All right, well, you might want them to,
or else you're going to be responsible for driving them
around.
No, I'll get somebody else.
I mean, here's the thing, I taught one of my children
to ski, and it was the worst experience of my life,
and I'll never do that, I'll never make that mistake again.
I remember we were on a ski lift, and we were going up,
and we were all excited, and he was a bit nervous,
and I was like, you know, it's going to be great,
It's going to be fun-- oh, my God, look at that guy!
And we looked down at this guy, he was screaming at his kid.
Just screaming, you gotta get up!
Get up, and we're going to ski down this mountain,
and you've got to, you have no choice!
And I was like, oh, wow, that guy is such an ass.
He's so mean to his kid.
And we were laughing, and then we got off,
and we got to the top of the ski thing.
My kid got about halfway down, and he froze,
and he got really, really frightened.
And, you know, when a child is really, really frightened,
a really good thing to do is shout at them.
Yeah.
So I just-- I screamed at him.
Like, we've got to get off this ridge!
We're gonna freeze to death on this mountain,
and it's gonna be your fault!
We're gonna be dead on this mountain!
And then I look up, and there were all these people
pointing at me.
It had literally taken 10 minutes for me
to become that man.
That guy.
Yes.
Seems like you two should be friends.
You should meet that guy.
Yeah, y'all should hang out.
I read this morning in our little meeting
that we have before, so I'm well versed on your life.
I know everything about you.
You have a dog with the same name.
We have a dog named Wallace, and you have a dog named Wallace.
Yes, we share this in common.
Oh!
Look at that dog.
Is that when you stole it from the pet shop?
Is that you walking out with it?
My COVID haircut, yes.
Yes, that's my beautiful dog.
And now the problem with my dog, who I love to death,
is that my dog still hasn't-- it's only one year old,
so it still hasn't figured out that it's just got massive now.
And it still-- yes, exactly, it still sleeps on me.
Oh.
Well, it seems like you both sleep a lot.
Congratulations on your show.
WandaVision is a huge, huge hit.
Last episode airs tomorrow.
Were you expecting it to be as popular as it is?
Absolutely not.
I mean, we thought that we were going
to be the sort of kooky cousin in the Marvel Universe,
and it's been really extraordinary.
And it's really the fans that have made it
into this phenomenon, and I am so thankful for that,
obviously.
But it's been this incredible ride on the show.
It's such a strange show to try to explain,
and I know that you do press and people say, tell everybody
what the show is about.
But when fans try to explain it, I
think it's better and funnier, because it's so--
So, tWitch is a huge fan, and I want
him to try to explain what the show is about,
and you let me know if you think it's a good explanation.
OK, cool.
And this is cool, because I feel like I'm
kind of like a cast member now, because I
get to explain the show.
OK, so WandaVision picks up with two Avengers
after the events of Avengers: Endgame,
and the Avengers are Wanda and Vision.
Which, by the way, Vision we watched basically perish
in the movie, so picking back up with them
living this suburban life is kind of-- it's
unexplained at first.
We have no idea what's going on.
And from episode to episode we revisit different eras
of sitcoms, which also raises another question.
How is this happening?
Is Wanda behind it?
Is Vision truly alive?
And, if so, are they trapped?
Is somebody pulling the strings?
We don't know.
And then, so Paul, give us a little clue
as to what's happening.
I know you can't, I'm just saying.
Was that good?
That was so accurate, and it strikes me
that I'm wondering how it ever got greenlit,
because that idea is mad.
Yeah.
I know.
That's why, whenever you try to explain it,
it is so hard to explain.
And you have all these different looks in different sitcoms.
What is your favorite that you've done so far?
Oh, well you have a picture of me.
This is after I found a DeLorean and I got some plutonium
and I travel back in time and I wrestled Robert Redford
to the ground and I shaved his head.
And then I crawled back to this era, and I made it into a wig.
Wow.
And how long does it take you to get into--
I mean, some are more elaborate than others,
but how long does it usually take you per episode to get
into different characters?
Well, the Vision look is about--
well, when we get really practiced at it,
we're at about an hour and a half
in, an hour and a half out.
Wow.
And that's just that one.
Well, Paul, it's great seeing you again.
I can't wait to have you back in the studio.
I look forward to seeing you again in person.
WandaVision is streaming now on Disney+, and we'll be back.
Paul, thanks so much.
Hi, I'm Andy.
Ellen asked me to remind you to subscribe to her channel
so you can see more awesome videos, like videos
of me getting scared or saying embarrassing things,
like ball peen hammer.
And also some videos of Ellen and other celebrities,
if you're into that sort of thing.
[BLEEP]
God [BLEEP]!