- What is your name? - I'm Mike E. Winfield.
- Mike E., what is your age?
- So I'm like 20s to like 30s and stuff, you know all that?
- Oh, okay. [laughter]
- Where are you from?
- I'm originally from Baltimore.
I did an adequate time in Sacramento--a lot of love.
- And what do you do?
- You know what? I tell jokes, you know?
- How long you been doing this? - Over 15 years.
- So do you even remember the first time
you step on a stage?
- Oh, my gosh, do I remember?
Yeah, it was a Tuesday night open mic.
And I get onstage with bright lights
and arms crossed, and they're down there
all staring at me, and I just kind of freeze.
[laughter]
So the fact that I came back, that means there's
something wrong with me.
[laughs]
- Okay, so show us what is wrong with you.
- Okay, thank you.
[cheers and applause]
Thank you very much. Thank you.
I, uh...
I love older moms.
[laughter]
Like, I like it when her kids just moved out.
I can set up my computer in the extra bedroom, you know?
I got married to an older woman.
I got a stepson.
It's cool being a parent to a kid
that's close to your age.
I call him step-man.
He drove me here.
That's my step-homeboy, man.
And it's a weird dynamic.
If you see it, he's like 6'2" with chest hair.
I don't have any, you know?
Teenage boys can be gross.
You know when they're doing inappropriate stuff
on their laptop, because when you walk in on them,
they'll slam it down really fast
and then ask you some irrelevant question.
I walk in on step-man.
He's like, "Who's running for Congress?"
[laughter]
I'm like, "Oh."
Like, step-man!
I quit my job at the grocery store.
Step-man's like, "What we gonna do
for money, Step-Mike?"
I'm like, "Hey, don't worry about it, okay?"
And I worked at this grocery store
for a lot of hateful years.
Why is it when you hate your job they won't fire you?
[laughter]
- It's true. It's true.
- And now, look, I worked in the worst
department at the grocery store.
Not the meat, not produce, not the freezer.
I worked in the steal department.
You're familiar with the steal department, right?
Self-checkout lane?
[laughter]
I got paid to watch people steal all day.
And people think you stupid, like, you know when they're
gonna rob you when they're ringing up their stuff.
They always gotta look back up at you.
They're like, "Boop, boop."
[laughter]
This one dude tried to humiliate me.
Like, I knew he was gonna rob us
'cause I'm looking at him, he's looking at me.
I'm like, "Just steal it."
But he tries to play me in front of the entire store.
While he's ringing his stuff up,
he makes the beep noise with his mouth.
He didn't even do it right.
Like, you gotta act this out, go all in.
Raise your pitch, at least.
He's like... [deep voice] "Beep."
I'm like, "The produce is not even supposed to make a sound."
You're beeping unbeepable stuff.
Hey, you guys, I'm Mike E. Winfield.
Thank you very much. Thank you.
[wild cheering]
♪
Oh, stop it. Oh...
Thank you. Thank you.
- Look at these people.
[audience chanting]
- They're standing up!
- Wow.
Wow, thank you so much.
- I mean, I don't think there's anything else to say.
They love you.
I love you.
- Thank you.
- It's amazing, your energy, your smile.
I loved it.
- Aw, thank you. - Howie.
- Everything you say is memorable, is authentic.
Your smile, your persona. You're great.
You're great. - Bravo!
- Wow--wow. I appreciate it.
- Heidi.
- You are fantastic. And then there's this face.
- Thank you. - Look at this face.
[laughs]
- That face is just so cute.
- Why don't you mention his face?
- Isn't his face so cute?
all: Yeah!
- [playfully] Stop it-- stop it!
- Simon, what do you think?
- Well, you have a real star quality about you, Mike.
- He does. - You really do.
- Absolutely.
- We could never do this show without an audience.
Particularly with an act like yourself.
And this audience loved you. I mean, you could tell.
- Thank you, Simon. Thank you all!
I appreciate you!
- And, Mike, look, we always say an audition on this show,
two minutes literally can change your life.
Maybe this is one of those auditions.
I've got a good feeling about you.
- Thank you.
- Well, we're gonna start voting.
Simon. - Yes.
- Me, yes.
- Yes.
- Four yeses!
[cheers and applause]
- Four yeses!
- Bravo!
- We did it!
Appreciate you, guys. Thank you.
- That was so good.
- Yeah, we love Mikey.
- Very good. - Yeah, that kid's a star.
- I mean, I think he's one of my
favorite comedians that I've seen in these three seasons.
- Oh, yeah.
- ♪ I'm the man, I'm the man, I'm the man ♪
♪ Yes, I am, yes, I am, yes, I am ♪