“When you're in a Slump, you're not in for much fun.
Un-slumping yourself is not easily done. -- Dr. Seuss” (sjung detta i introt?)
A few weeks ago, I was out on a walk, and I saw a girl running,
as in exercising. And she looked great. Very athletic. And I thought to myself,
“Imagine the discipline that goes into that”; the workouts, the diets, the do’s and the don'ts.
Then I saw another person. And another person. And another person. All out there running,
taking care of themselves. Choosing themselves. Prioritizing themselves.
And then there was me. Choosing... none of those things. But I guess it could’ve been worse.
At least I saw those people in person, which means I, myself,
was outside. I mean, I wasn’t running or anything, but at least I wasn’t in bed, on my phone,
scrolling through various health and fitness related pages while indulging in self-loathing.
I’ll give myself a gold star for that.
Lately I haven’t been taking good care of myself; I’ve been neglecting the fundamentals of healthy
living: diet, exercise and sleep. And it’s made me… moody; irritable; impatient. I don’t think
I’ve been very pleasant to be around some of the time, to be honest. I’ve also been feeling shame,
guilt and sadness. No one feels pride or joy in neglecting themselves. It’s an awful feeling.
To understand how and why I got to this point, and what steps I’m taking to get the hell out of here,
we need to take a little trip down memory lane. We’ll start
light, and then it’ll just get gradually worse. Welcome onboard.
But before we take off, today’s topic is one that can sometimes
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First stop: Sleep
My sleeping habits are the worst they’ve been in as long as I can remember.
I guess it started a few months ago when I got my puppy, Fred. He’s cute and a light in my life,
so don’t get me wrong, I’ll gladly be sleep deprived as long as I get to have him by my side.
He’s 6 months now, and though his sleep and pee habits have gotten significantly better
than when I first got him, he still wakes me up at 5.30-6 every morning.
I typically go to bed at around 12-01, so that leaves me with
5-6 hours of sleep per night at most. Matthew Walker is gasping.
The obvious solution to this problem would be either a) get rid of my puppy
or b) to go to bed earlier. The first option is not off the table, but I’d like to give option
b) my best shot first. The problem with that, however, is that I’ve been at peak creativity
at night lately, which isn’t all that uncommon, as it turns out, as esearch does suggest a direct
correlation between feeling a bit tired/groggy and creativity. Can any creatives out there relate?
So,, what am I doing about this?
I’m digging deeper into the whole more-creative-at-night-thingy.
To understand it better and to see how one may be able to turn that around. I’d love for
the morning hours to be my most creative ones. I’m slowly changing up Freds feeding schedule,
which is supposedly one of the first steps towards getting your puppy to wake up later.
Second stop: Diet
Home cooked meals are what I was brought up on; and food
is simply one of my greatest joys in life: cooking it, eating it, sharing it. But for this past
year or so, ever since I moved, really, I’ve been in a cooking rut. Now, what does that mean?
It means that cooking has felt like a chore, which has lead to
95% of the meals I’ve cooked being whipping-something-
together-quick-with-little-to-no-thought-going-into-nutrients-and-flavors
types of meals, let’s call that lazy cooking, whereas 5% have been
cooking-with-the-heart-and-taking-my-time types of meals. Let’s call it deliberate cooking.
So, what am I doing about it? Well, exactly two weeks ago, a switch slipped. I just got
sick of myself and my bad eating habits, and I decided it was time to do something about it.
So, I looked up a few new recipes; recipes that were out of my comfort zone and that felt fun
and exciting; I got the groceries I needed, and I ended up “cooking deliberately” three times that
week, and then I did the same thing this week. And now that I’ve got the ball rolling, I’m actually
looking forward to cooking and trying new recipes, and I haven’t felt that in a very long time.
Now, I’m not saying that each meal needs to be a gourmet meal. Sometimes,
we just want something quick and easy to get us through the day, and that’s completely fine.
I will have many more of those days.
But I don’t want to live a life that is based on “quick and easy”.
Creating time and filling it with something we thoroughly enjoy is a beautiful thing,
and I want to do more of that, in every category of life.
Now, here’s my my plan for keeping this momentum up:
I’m being gentle with myself. Cooking deliberately three times a week is a
great start. Even once or twice a week is an improvement from where I was three weeks ago.
Continue to search for recipes that excite me. If you have any suggestions,
vegetarian ones, please share them with me. Share my meals. I find fulfillment in cooking
not just for myself, but for others too, especially people who share my
love for food. So, whenever I can, I’ll do that. If and when I fall into the “this is a waste of
time” mind trap, I’ll remind myself that cooking is actually a useful life skill.
Exercise
This one’s probably the one that affects me negatively the most, both mentally and physically.
I haven’t had a consistent exercise routine in a very long time. Like, years,
except for the occasional fitness challenge that I’ve done. I guess where it started to go downhill
was when covid hit and I stopped going to the gym and studios.
I did, however, start walking a lot more. Often 2-3 hours a day.
But since I can’t leave my puppy alone for that long, I’m no longer getting those walks in,
unless I’m able to leave him with someone, which isn’t something I can do every day.
So, I’m currently doing about 3-4 at home workouts a month, which is
nowhere near the amount of exercise I’d ideally like to get in.
Why is that? And do I have a plan?
The answer to the first question is that,
I haven’t found a workout routine that is both a) accessible to me and b) enjoyable. I did ask you
all for advice on fitness challenges and routines on my Instagram and I got quite a few replies that
I have yet to go through, so perhaps there’ll be something in there for me to try and hopefully
want to stick with. But other than that, unlike for my sleep and diet, I don’t have a plan.
I chose to share this because I think that way too often, we only share our progress and our
results, and not so much the beginning stages of realizing that change needs to be made and those
very first steps towards that change. And so, I wanted to do that this time.
With all of this, I’ve promised myself to gently get back into these health habits.
That’s not to say I’m not going to push myself, I am, but just enough to where I’m moving forward;
and not hard enough to where I fall over. The goal is to not stand still.
As James Clear wrote in Atomic Habits,
"Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become.
No single instance will transform your beliefs, but as the votes build up,
so does the evidence of your new identity." - Atomic Habits
How are you voting today?