- Okay, this is it.
Okay.
(Jesse screams)
(instrumental music)
- Hi.
- Hello.
- Good.
- Wait until I'm naked.
- I'm Jesse.
I'm 29 years old.
- My name is Nikita.
I'm 28 years old
and Jesse is one of my absolute best friends.
- I think I'm going to reveal the beast.
- I'm going to take off my clothes
and Jesse is going to try to capture my body on canvas.
- Yep.
- Well, I'd like it if some kid...
- Go on.
- Saw it and related to my....
(Jesse and Nikita laughing)
Related to my experience,
because when I was a kid, I didn't have somebody
who had a similar experience.
- I'd like to have as many unfamiliar experiences
as I can with Jesse; I think it helps us be better friends.
- As a teenager I was very concerned with my penis size.
(Jesse laughing)
Um, I'm trying to be honest and vulnerable.
- No, you just...
- I think it's,
it's one of the bigger issues I had with my body.
- A smaller issue.
- An average issue.
(Jesse laughs)
(suspenseful music)
- Incredible.
(suspenseful music)
- Okay, okay, this is it.
- Okay.
(Jesse screams)
- I need to make sure not to...
- No, that's fantastic, dude.
It's really good stuff.
- [Interviewer] How do you two feel?
- I feel like I have an instinct to suck in my belly.
- I think you look good, dude.
I feel more uncomfortable than I thought I would,
um, but that's good.
- I'll paint you.
- Sounds good.
(instrumental music)
What do you think of my body?
- I didn't know he was uncircumcised.
- Most people in Russia aren't.
There is no like medical circumcision happening in Russia.
- Being from Russia,
what are some of the cultural differences
surrounding bodies that you noticed?
- I think growing up in Russia
there was definitely an expectation of masculinity.
As a boy, as a man, you're expected to be like a hard thing.
I don't know if that ever felt right.
- You're built very powerfully.
- I appreciate that you want to say a nice thing,
but that's not what I'm going for.
- Right.
- I'm actually, I think of myself as a soft animal.
- But that's not how I view you
nor how the world might view you.
You're built like an eighties power lifter,
I'll say that.
- I think it's clear
that I'm not paying very much attention to my body.
It's more like a messy apartment, I think.
It's not because this is like
what I want my apartment to look like.
It's just that I didn't really focus.
- How confident are you in your body?
- I'm not worried about people seeing it
and having a negative reaction.
Even though if I had to guess,
I would say that on average,
people probably would react to my body negatively.
- What if you gave me three genuine compliments?
Wouldn't that be nice?
- Right, about your body?
- Yeah. Don't stall for time.
- No, I'm not stalling.
Three?
Right?
I got this.
You look like you could chop down a tree.
You have a very rugged body.
You have chest hair and you're strong.
That's cool, man, I always envied that.
- Can you give me a compliment
that's not a masculine compliment.
- Yes, okay.
I think you're curvy and delightful.
You store your weight well.
- Thank you.
- What do you want highlighted in this painting?
- I want it to reflect what you think of my personality.
- Tell me about a time you were like genuinely surprised
and happy about your body.
- I don't think I ever really paid that much attention
to my body.
My biggest thought about it has been that like, it's,
it's a finite box for an infinite mind.
Not that mine is infinite in particular, but just generally.
It's a prison of flesh, but,
but like now, I'm,
I'm much, much happier with it.
How's the painting going?
- I'm done.
I think I actually aptly captured
that last thing you said very well.
(Nikita laughs)
What?
I chose a very happy color, lavender,
'cause you're like such a jolly dude, man.
- I like the color.
- You're one of the happiest people I know.
When I think about you,
I'm just looking at your, like what I imagine
is going through that beautiful head of yours, dude.
Probably a lot of smart stuff.
- Yeah I figured out, right angled triangles.
- So yeah. I see you as this, like, like you said, man,
this flesh box for beautiful, beautiful mind.
- I'll take that, that's very kind of you.
(Jesse laughs)
- I view you as a snowman.
(Nikita laughs)
(fast instrumental music)
- Yeah, okay.
- Like you to take it all off.
- All right.
Holy shit.
- I think this is great.
This, this definitely works for me.
Are you comfortable?
- I'm comfortable. - Cool.
(instrumental music)
- How happy would you say you are with your body right now.
- A 9 out of 10; I think I'm feeling pretty good about it.
- What was your lowest point?
- When I was young, I felt agonizingly terrible about it.
Going into high school I was 111 pounds at 5'11".
I was
bullied.
I was like,
classically, quintessentially, shoved against lockers.
- Who were the bullies?
- There is a kid named Michael.
It doesn't matter what their names were.
- Wait, is it the list I saw back in your place?
Where half the names are scratched out.
(Jessie and Nikita laughing)
- Yeah, I got bullied for it, dude, it sucked.
I became really self-conscious.
14, 15 years old I was like,
I'll become a bodybuilder.
'Cause I feel like a buff guy
is a child's idea of a confidant guy.
- So when you were growing up
how did your parents talk to you about your body?
- We never talked about our bodies in my family.
We never talked about all that much at all.
Just the internet.
The internet informed my entire perspective.
I was listening to people
who told me to wake up at like 3:00 AM,
just to chug a protein shake and go back to bed.
They told me to eat raw eggs.
And I didn't know they meant like open; I just ate the egg.
- You would take a whole chicken egg.
You would eat it with the shell.
- I would eat it with the shell.
- Is that true?
- I thought it was part of it; yes, 100%.
I did a whole bunch of dumb shit like that.
But then it worked.
Like I remember, I came back after summer.
- People treated you differently.
- They did immediately.
I got asked to a dance
solely off of saying no words
and literally just being physically stronger than I was.
- Let's see what you've got as a body builder.
- You want to see this shit?
You ready?
- Let's see your best one.
Wait, were you a provincial actor or a bodybuilder?
- No, a bodybuilder.
What do you...
- Did you do like small town theater?
- No, this is so embarrassing, dude.
I actually don't want you to use that part.
(Nikita laughs)
- Can you tell me about your body now?
Is there anything you're insecure about?
- My receding hairline; I like to have hair.
- And if you had to describe a person that has hair
versus a person that doesn't have hair,
what is it that makes a person with hair so much better
would you say?
- [Jesse] Right.
- And look me in the eye.
(Jesse laughs)
- I think it's just change, man.
Any change is very uncomfortable.
- I am very optimistic
about it remaining beautiful as it changes.
Oh no.
- [Jesse] What?
- There is not enough room for your head.
It's just going to have to be your body.
What do you think people think when they look at your body?
- I think people are typically impressed.
- 110%.
Pretty much all of the motivating factors behind
what I've accomplished is protection
from what other people think.
- To me, your body is a reflection
of how your focus is distributed.
Like I feel like it shows that you work on things
and that's just the kind of person you are.
- Thank you.
(Jesse laughs)
Who is the shadowy creature?
- No, that's that's you younger.
- [Jesse] Wow.
- And that's the staircase that allegorically...
- Wow. - Portrays your growth.
- You're incredible.
- And this is you now.
- This is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, dude.
- Except you have no head.
'Cause that's how I see you.
- [Jesse] Wow.
- Just the chunk of flesh.
- Dude. You're good.
- Could I get my photo,
my portrait back please?
Photo, photo.
- [Interviewer] How was this experience for the two of you?
- I feel it was a bonding experience.
- Yeah, I thought it was great.
Thank you for your body.
- Thank you for yours.
- And thank you for this portrait.
It's incredible, truly incredible work, dude.
- Thank you.
I also like how my equation E equals just M squared.
- Right. Well, you're not perfect.
- [Nikita] No
- I see you as a work in progress
and that's what I was trying to capture, yeah.
(applause)