- Today, we dine like the King of the North.
- Let's talk about that.
(upbeat synthesizer music)
- Good Mythical Morning!
- And valar morghulis, which is of course,
Valyrian for 'all men must die',
which is not exactly the uplifting message
I was looking to start today's show with,
but when it comes to Game of Thrones,
that's about as uplifting as it gets.
- Yeah, so to celebrate the return
of the biggest show on TV and it's final season,
we're putting our little fingers
on the culinary pulse of Westeros
and bringing some of the most iconic
Game of Thrones foods to life.
So, hold the door to the fridge,
because we're about as hungry
as a herd of Dothraki after pillaging a village
full of sister kissers.
It's time for Real Fake Food: Game of Thrones Edition.
- Now, some of our friends, like Feast Of Fiction
and Binging with Babish and others,
have created delicious looking versions
of some Game of Thrones foods,
but that is not what we're about to do.
Our goal is to make the food as true to how it exists
inside the world of Game of Thrones as possible.
Not some fancy version that you would feed
Mema Tyrell on her birthday.
- In other words, indigestion is coming.
But, before we get to the meals
that are dark and full of terrors,
let's ease into things with something that's just brown.
- Okay.
(intense music)
- Bowl O' Brown is a cheap, murky brown stew
served in the slums of King's Landing,
specifically Flea Bottom, and it's meant to serve
as sustenance for those who can't afford anything better.
So, let's see some exciting brown action.
(laughs)
- It's only a name, but an easy burden to bear.
Far easier than hers.
- In Flea Bottom, we call them bowls of brown.
We pretended that the meat in them was chicken.
We knew it wasn't chicken.
- No boobs in that clip, huh.
(crew laughs)
- You little.
Alright.
(laughs)
Now, the time has come for us
to taste our own bowls of brown.
Oh, Sir Jordan of Pig Anus.
Sir Jordan of Pig Anus.
- Oi there, lords.
It is I, the guy who gives you the brown.
(laughs)
Oh.
- [Rhett] Slap it in there.
- Oh, yes. - Look at that.
- Oh, I'll give you quite the slopping, lord.
- Oh gosh.
Oh, there's a whole snail.
- This looks amazing.
- [Jordan] Oh, and some brown for you.
- [Link] Leave brown.
Okay.
- The brownest of the browns.
- Okay, that's, that's. - Yes.
- So brown.
- Oh, you lost-- - That's enough!
You lost some of your brown, lord!
- I'm right here.
- (laughs) Alright!
- You have like, hearing loss or something.
- I live next to a dragon,
so I don't know how loud I'm talking.
- Okay. - Alright!
- Thank you, Mr. Pig Anus.
- [Jordan] It's Pigganus!
- Oh.
- (laughs) Okay, thanks for clarifying.
- [Jordan] Oh, I got quite the ribbing
about that in junior high.
(laughs)
- Ribbing or rimming?
(crew laughs)
- According-- - Hey, what's in this?
- According to The Sworn Sword graphic novel,
which was written by George R. R. Martin himself.
Uh, the ingredients are often unidentifiable
mystery meats which may include fish.
Hey, you're getting some brown on me, man.
- Oh yeah, sorry.
- Fish, pigeons, rats, cats,
and even dead bodies of dubious origin!
It all depends on who made your brown.
- Alright now, some blogs and YouTube chefs
have come up with tasty, sanitized recipes
of the Bowl O' Brown, but,
this bowl of brown has different stuff.
It has beef tendon, pork kidney, rabbit, duck tongue,
black pudding, which is beef blood,
snail shells, vegetable peels, and just a pinch of salt.
(crew laughs)
- And there is a whole egg of some sort.
- [Crew member] That's my bad.
I put some quail eggs in there.
- Oh, thanks.
- [Crew member] We were cleaning out the fridge.
- Uh, I don't even really,
(coughs)
I'm just gonna kinda get an unidentifiable slurry.
- Oh gosh. - Watch for bones.
- Watch for bones.
We have been getting the bone warning.
- [Link] I just don't wanna--
- [Rhett] Dink, dink your brown.
- Oh gosh, that a whole part of something.
- That's good, that's good, that's good.
Just start small.
- Dink it and sink it.
- That is just a bone.
(crew laughs)
- It's a very beefy version.
I think that is probably a lot more nutritious
than what they were actually eating.
- [Crew member] There's no real beef in there.
- Oh! - Woah, very earthy.
(crew laughs)
Oh, gosh.
Like only 30% of it is digestible.
- [Crew member] Yeah.
- Or chewable, ope, there's another piece.
- Yep, and I'm already there.
- What is that?
- [Crew member] Bone.
- (laughs) Ehm, bone!
- That's, okay.
- The good news is it only gets worse from here.
- Oh, gosh.
Next up!
Drogon's Burnt Goat.
(crew laughs)
(intense music)
Now if you thought we'd eat Game of Thrones food
without finding out what dragons like to eat?
Then you know nothing, Jon Snow!
- Oh.
(crew laughs)
- Or whatever your name is, Doug Snyder perhaps.
- Okay well, buckle up, Doug,
because we know exactly what dragons like to eat.
(goat bleats)
(dragon screeches)
(goat cries)
- And this is that actual goat.
- Yes.
Yes, it is.
And this goat is currently at a state of medium rare,
which is far too undercooked
for the likes of Drogon or Rhaegal,
so we need to get it to a proper degree of dragon doneness.
Enter the Dragon.
Is that a different thing?
- Yeah it is, different movie.
Cah caw!
- So I just say, grab a haunch, or I don't,
this is a part.
I don't know what part it is.
Grab a part, and point your dragon at it.
You gotta massage the dragon's neck.
Get right in there on the thyroid.
- I'm so hungry.
- Oh gosh.
(blow torches ignite)
- Oh, look at that!
- [Link] Yeah, fire!
- Okay, you get it nice and singed.
- Whoa!
I burnt my, my, my Drogon nose.
(laughs)
- I think that's regular.
(blow torch ignites)
Oh Link, you got--
- [Link] Yeah!
- [Rhett] You're putting plastic fumes
onto your stuff, man.
- Oh, oh. - Blow it out, blow it out!
- Jordan's over there laughing.
Yeah, poison him!
- I think I, yeah.
You might want to eat mine and not yours.
Okay, I'm going for,
- Mhm, smells-- - a good solid bite here.
- It smells like burnt dragon.
I'll bite from a different spot.
- Oh, it's warm.
- Dink it.
Oh!
(crew laughs)
That's pretty top heavy.
- It is.
You almost hit me in the nose.
- Wow.
And sink it.
- [Rhett] Oh.
- Very gamey!
I mean, it's uh.
- It tastes like a barnyard.
- Hmm, yeah, it does.
- It's not bad.
It's well seasoned.
Good job with the seasoning.
(crew member laughs)
I know what we're doing the rest of the day.
- What, eating the rest of these?
- Yeah, we gotta finish them, man.
- We can do it.
- Waste not, want not.
- Or feed it to the dragon.
- Is that another name for Morgan?
(crew laughs)
Next up, the Red Wedding Feast.
(intense music)
Now, even if you haven't read or watched Game of Thrones,
you've probably heard of the Red Wedding.
If there's one thing the Red Wedding is remembered for,
it's the food.
- Yeah.
(crew laughs)
- And, just in case you've been living under
Casterly Rock for the last six years,
this clip has some spoilers.
(crowd chanting)
(crossbows firing)
(crowd grunting)
(crowd screaming)
- Sure, a lot of people died,
but did you see that spread?
(crew laughs)
- Now, I mean, I've read all the books.
At least the ones that have been made so far.
Come on!
Let's make some more books.
The thing that I noticed is that they--
- More books, more books!
- They go to great detail in describing all of the food,
which allows us to have a very accurate Red Wedding.
A thin leek soup was described in the Storm of Swords,
as well as a salad of green beans, onions, and beets,
river pike poached in almond milk.
- Oh, almond milk.
- Mounds of mashed turnips that were cold
before they reached the table.
Jellied calves brains, a leche of stringy beef,
and plenty of red wine.
So, some good stuff, some uh, questionable stuff.
- Yeah, and Josh actually prepared all of that,
but the office at Dire Wolf actually ate most of it
when he wasn't looking, so here's what's left.
We have the stringy beef,
we've got the jellied calves brains, and the mashed turnips.
There's turnips!
- Oi there, lords.
You can't have a Red Wedding without some blood.
Oh, yes, lords.
- Oh my gosh. - Yes.
- Okay, Okay.
- This is not,
this isn't chocolate syrup and corn syrup.
This is real blood!
(laughs)
It's real, yes.
Oh, there we go.
From someone who's just been stabbed right in the baby.
(laughs)
- Okay, okay, okay!
- Right in the baby.
- Alright!
Thank you, Sir Jordan from the House of Pig Anus.
- [Jordan] It's Pigganus!
You're willfully mispronouncing it now to embarrass me.
(laughs)
- Okay, so, it actually does look
a lot like chocolate syrup,
but it is legitimately pasteurized cow blood.
Apparently, when you pasteurize it,
it gets a little thicker.
- Oh.
Just imagine how the actors felt.
You know, it's like, really guys!
- Well, Link, I doubt it was,
I think it was just prop food.
- No, they went method with the food, man.
It is known.
- Yeah, if you watch a show like Game of Thrones,
and you want to be in the world.
But just imagine what it would have been like.
This is what it would have been like,
well, maybe a little bit less blood.
A little bit lighter on the blood.
But Pig, you know Pig Anus.
He's...
- He's?
- Sometimes, he gets carried away.
Oh.
Oh, does that, is that jellied calves brain in cow's blood?
- Yes, it is, sir.
- Hmm, let's enjoy.
Oh gosh!
Ah!
- Let's get some of this at the same time.
I'm putting it all in one bite.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, get the perfect--
- I don't want to do two different bites.
- Get the perfect bite.
- [Link] Oh, oh, my gosh.
- [Rhett] Uck.
- If we don't get this down, we've got to go to the wall.
(crew laughs)
Live out our lives with the brothers.
- Got to be celibate,
- In black! - Got to be celibate.
- But not practically.
(laughs)
- Okay.
- They tend to overlook those things when you have a,
a steamy gleam in your eye.
Like Jon Snow, man.
- Yeah, yeah.
- That guy could get away with anything.
(crew laughs)
Why am I making sure I got it all?
- I don't know.
You don't have enough blood.
Dip, dip, get some dip.
Oh, gosh.
Yeah, yeah.
There we go, here we go.
Dink it.
(laughs nervously)
- And sink it.
(Rhett and Link gagging)
- They could use that as foley,
foley for when those people get stabbed in the gut.
(retching)
- Yeah, they had some great foley.
- Uh, I tried.
But I guess it's off to the wall.
- Wow, you know what?
I'm not even gonna watch the show anymore.
- That's it, that ruined it for you?
- Yep, yep, it ruined the show.
Not watching the Red Wedding but eating it.
- Well, we came, we saw.
We put it in our mouths, and then we spit it out.
Thanks for liking, commenting, and subscribing.
- You know what time it is.
- Hi, I'm Sam.
- And I'm May, and we're here
at the Game of Thrones concert in San Diego.
Valar morghulis.
- [Sam and May] And it's time to spin
The Wheel of Mythicality.
- What happens at that concert?
There's a band?
- There was like, cauldrons in the,
in the front and a mosh pit.
- Click the top link to watch us find out
which Game of Thrones characters we are
in Good Mythical MORE.
- And to find out where
The Wheel of Mythicality's gonna land.
- If you missed the Tour of Mythicality, have no fear.
The all new Tour of Mythicality special is here,
available now on YouTube, iTunes, Amazon,
and a wide variety of platforms,
including most cable TV providers.