Find Your Subconscious Core Life Commitment
Commitment is a state of dedication.
When we commit to something,
we put all of our energy into that thing.
The more of our own energy that we give to something,
the more committed we are to that thing.
Now the thing we have to be aware of
is that we're always committed to something.
When we think we're committed to something
and we're really not committed to it,
all that means is that we're committed to something else.
It's not possible to not be committed.
For example, let's say that somebody doesn't really seem
to be very committed to work.
Maybe that's because what they're actually committed to is escape,
or...
Relaxation.
But what we have to understand before continuing is:
we are always committing our energy to something.
You can't not, commit your energy to something.
But whether we're aware of what that something is or not,
is another question.
Now, it's easy to see,
when you look at the average physical human,
that all people have multiple commitments in their life.
But what we have to accept is that all people have
a primary core commitment.
Now, this primary core commitment
can also be subconscious.
Most of our commitments are.
Most of us are not aware of what our actual commitments are.
That's why our own actions don't seem to make sense to us,
much less to other people.
You can think of this core commitment
like a core value.
It's the principle and primary value
that we hold in our life.
And we will always act in accordance
with this commitment.
We have to become aware
of our subconscious commitments,
especially our core and primary subconscious commitment,
if not, it's going to wreak havoc on our life.
Because we're always going to act in accordance with it
whether we're aware of it or not.
And obviously, unless we're aware of it,
we can't consciously commit to it.
To give you an example of how
a core commitment may wreak havoc on our life,
let's imagine,
that you've just accepted a job,
but let's say that your core commitment in life
is to a sense of freedom,
and the job that you've just accepted conflicts
with that sense of freedom.
Pretty soon what's gonna happen is you're gonna
rebel against the authority of your boss.
Everything's gonna feel crappy.
you're gonna begin to sabotage your job,
until you eventually get fired.
All of this because
you're not actually aware of your own subconscious commitment,
which was to freedom
So obviously,
because you weren't aware of that subconscious commitment,
you didn't make the right choice of job in the first place.
you, set yourself up for failure.
When we are not aware of our subconscious core commitment,
we are so often completely out of alignment
with our own integrity.
That's why our words don't match our actions.
The biggest issue
relative to subconscious core commitments,
is in the sector of relationships.
So even though,
not knowing what your subconscious core commitment is,
wreaks havoc on all different areas of your life,
relationships is where it does the most damage.
I'll give you an example of why;
If someone does not have a core commitment
that directly corresponds
with commitment to the relationship
and creating harmony with another person,
relationships are impossible to maintain.
For example,
let's say that somebody's core commitment in their life,
is to a sense of connection and closeness;
Obviously that dovetails with having a relationship
and creating a harmonious one.
It's one and the same basically,
because one satisfies the other.
This is a person who's gonna do a lot of work
To make the relationship feel harmonious.
And it's probably gonna work.
However, let's say that you've got another person,
and their core commitment is to their own personal happiness;
They want to feel good no matter what,
and right now it seems like having a relationship,
would make them happy.
But what about the day that that relationship
inevitably becomes what relationships are, which is a teacher?
What happens the day it becomes uncomfortable
because the relationship is a mirror, basically,
for everything in your life?
Do you think the commitment is gonna be there?
Or is the commitment gonna be to happiness?
Which seems to be the opposite of a relationship right now.
So unless the relationship is serving
one sense of happiness,
the relationship is gone.
Some people have core commitments
that are a direct contradiction
to harmony in a relationship.
This is a disaster in relationships
where one person has a core commitment
that is in alignment with creating a harmonious relationship,
and one person has a core commitment that is
completely the opposite.
This is a recipe for a relationship
where in order to keep closeness with one person,
the other person has to let go of all of their needs and desires.
They have to essentially completely comply.
They're in a zero-sum game.
Now what a zero-sum game is,
is I win you lose.
This happens so often in the spiritual community.
Why? Because in the spiritual community
you've got a bunch of people whose needs weren't met by other people
and so what they've decided is that their core commitment
is to themselves and their own personal sense of happiness.
Now I know that some of you are even listening to this right now
and saying: "There's nothing wrong with that."
I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that,
but it does present serious issues
in terms of creating a harmonious relationship.
Because what's gonna happen?
Let's say that you are with a person
and you decide your personal happiness is climbing Everest.
And you don't care the impact that it has on your wife and children,
for example.
Then obviously, because it's not a major motivation
to create closeness with them
your core commitment is your own personal happiness,
for them to stay connected to you,
which might be their primary value,
they have to just give in and be at the complete mercy
of what you want 24 hours a day or else the relationship is over.
Knowing other people's core commitment
can make people very very predictable,
which makes a relationship more safe.
This actually gives you the upper hand,
to tell you the honest truth,
because it means that you always know where a person is going to
put their priorities.
So let's say that you're in a relationship with somebody
or you know somebody in your life whose core value
or their core commitment is safety.
You, know that if they ever get put in a pinch,
they're gonna choose safety, no matter what that is.
if you understand the deep motivation in others,
you know exactly what you need to provide in order to be in alignment
with them and add to their happiness.
You have much more awareness about what the potential danger is
also with someone and thus how to avoid it.
Or if it's even possible to avoid it,
in which case you know what the incompatibility actually is.
To discover your core commitment in your life,
you have an option:
to one side of this option,
you can do it for yourself.
To the other side you can have somebody else help you with it.
If you choose to do it for yourself,
Than what you do is you let go of all concepts
of what your internal commitment may be.
Don't think about what you want it to be,
just, drop the concept, you have no idea.
Go into this with a blank slate,
and then you want to close your eyes.
Ask, from your soul,
as if setting an intention to become your core commitment,
then surrender is if you were letting your identity
be taken over completely by that commitment.
What does it feel like in your body?
What images do you see? What words do you hear?
What feelings do you feel?
See if you can define what you are feeling.
The second option is you can have somebody else do this.
So you can ask somebody in your life
who's capable of taking their own mind out of the equation,
and going in with a blank slate,
having no projections about what they think
your internal commitment may be,
closing their eyes,
and assuming the energy of your core commitment.
Almost like they're being possessed by it.
What do they see?
What do they hear?
What do they feel?
Can they put a definition to it?
To demonstrate this, i'm gonna have Blake try this.
He's never done this before, so you're gonna basically,
see how well this works. Ready?
What I want you to do,
is I want you to get rid of of all notions
of what you might be committed to.
B: Okay
T: So, you don't know it.
You're going in with a blank slate.
I want you to close your eyes.
I want you to ask, to become your core commitment in life.
And see what you feel like.
What feelings or sensations or images come up?
B: Kind of a solidness or...
like a focus focal we're really focused.
T: You feel that?
Blake: More than I usually do.
T: Okay.
Focus towards what?
If you were to put a word on this primary commitment,
what would it be?
Do you see any images with this?
B: Sorry!
I'm focused on like, the cameras and stuff.
Ummm, one word onto my core focus?
T: Yeah.
B: My core commitment? Ummm...
T: You're the embodiment of your core commitment right now.
What does it feel like?
B: Resolved, it doesn't feel wavery or uncertain at all.
T: What does it feel like?
B: It feel feels stable, it feels...
T: But what are you committed TO?
B: Like a... certain thing?
Like what am I committed to?
T: Yeah you're the embodiment of what you're committed to.
Right, now.
Not the embodiment of commitment.
B: I guess i'm committed to myself.
And...
My own wants.
T: Okay.
Okay so let's say that he does that right?
Now, let's have me do it.
Ready?
Okay, so I choose to become your core commitment.
So the first thing I feel is that I have only me.
It's like it's me and the world and I always have me,
and like, that's my only security.
So I can see images of myself walking down the street
and I feel like I really have me and like no one else really has me,
but I have me.
You, know what though?
I'm committed to being able to go wherever I want.
And do whatever I want.
I can feel that.
Like it makes me nervous
when I think about somebody coming towards me
and trying to get me to do something that
they want me to do.
I don't like that.
My commitments to what I want to do.
And I want, to be able to float.
Where I want, as me.
B: mm-hmm.
T: Okay, so, taking a look at that,
that is your core commitment in life.
B: Yeah, that sounds completely true.
T: Looking through your life can you see how
you've made decisions that are not in accordance with that?
B: mm-hmm.
T: And how well has it gone?
B: Oh,
T: OMG this just made total sense.
I just had my ahh ha moment just right here,
and while we're filming this.
Okay so one issue that we have with Blake in the community is that
we keep telling him:
"Please answer your phone, we need to be in touch with you."
"Please answer your phone."
15 years of this, and he still doesn't have his phone on him.
This is why.
Because your actual commitment is to you being able to float
and go wherever you want to go.
So like, when you're at the beck and call of somebody else,
that's the opposite of your commitment,
so you're gonna be passive-aggressive about it.
B: Yeah, I lost my phone the other day it was great.
T: Okay, so could you see how this would be damaging
in your life and career,
or how you need to be choosing according to this,
or even subconsciously deciding, is that really what you want to be commited to?
B: Sure right, rather than just taking it on my own,
I've been manipulating in order to get that.
T: And letting a lot of people down.
B: Right.
T: So this is what you get to think about,
and I don't want you to answer right now.
You get to think about whether you want that to be your conscious commitment.
If so, you have a lot of different choices to make.
If not you got, to switch your life up a bit.
B: If I want this to be my conscious commitment or not?
T: Yeah because this has been a subconscious commitment.
B: Okay.
T: That's why you don't just look at us when we say:
"Blake bring your phone." and say: "I'm not going to."
B: Yeah but it's...
well I mean if it's a...
I can't really not choose it.
T: No you actually can.
B: I can choose to...?
T: This is what's fun about a subconscious commitment;
Once you become conscious of it, you can choose whether you
actually want to commit to it or not.
If not you've gotta a look at where it comes from.
Even if so, you've gotta look at where it comes from.
B: Right so if...
What, I've actually been committed to
I don't really agree with,
or I don't really want to do that anymore,
there's other values in my life that I wanna pursue,
then I can change that?
T: Yeah and you've gotta be able to own the consequences of your commitments as well.
Like if you're fully committed to work and that's really where your commitment is,
and you're 100% gonna choose that,
you've gotta be aware of what that means for your relationships
and the type of relationships, if you're gonna have any that you're gonna choose.
Right? You don't choose somebody whose primary commitment is
closeness in a relationship, if that's not your primary commitment.
You're gonna torture that person.
So, it's about making those different decisions does that make sense?
B: Yeah.
T: Okay.
Once you discover your core commitment, look at your life.
See how so much of your life and your relationships makes sense now.
See if you can figure out why this commitment is so strong.
The core commitment usually reflects something traumatic we've experienced.
They are reflective of our deepest desires
which come from experiencing what is unwanted,
or from not having experienced something that we need and want.
>From here, get rid of your ideas of right and wrong.
It doesn't do any good to not commit, to something
that you actually do want to commit to,
just because you think it's not okay, to do so,
any more than it does any good to commit to something
just because you think it's the right thing to do.
Decide whether you want to commit
to that subconscious commitment you discovered, but consciously this time,
and what choices you're gonna make differently, as a result.
See the benefits and consequences of that commitment
on each sector of your life.
If you do not want to commit to that become completely aware of why.
What is your new commitment gonna be?
What changes are you gonna make in your life
in alignment with that new commitment?
The things that manifest
will always be the things that have the most energy
flowing towards them.
And the reality is,
is that our core subconscious commitment,
has too much energy flowing into it, to deny.
You have to become aware of it.
life is just too painful
when you have your subconscious commitment going in one direction,
and your conscious commitment going in another direction.
So try this process out,
so you can get all of you on board
going in the same direction and making the right choices
in accordance with that.
Have a good week.
Subtitles by: Tanya Duarte www.tanyaduarte.com