- He has our famous dance move.
Jake, please. - Oh, God.
- Come on.
- I don't know if the world's ready for that.
It's just real small movements in the knees,
hand in the air.
Oh, yay, yay, yay.
You go darling.
(gentle instrument music)
You look really pretty.
- Thank you.
- Is my hair okay?
- Yes. - Okay.
I am Jake Scott.
I am 27 years old and I am a musician.
- And I am Rachel Scott.
I am 30 years old and I am an actress and a writer.
Friends for five years. - Yeah.
- Dating four years.
Married two years.
- Two and a half. - Two and a half.
- Yeah.
(gentle guitar music)
- Can you hear me?
- I can read your lips. (Jake laughing)
(fingers snapping)
- I had just moved to LA, like five days before
and I got invited to go play Ultimate Frisbee.
I was totally going there thinking,
"I'm not gonna meet a girl.
I just moved to this new city,
like I have no plans for meeting girls."
And then I met Rachel and I was like,
"Oh, crap.
This girl is something else."
It was made known to me by all of her friends, like,
"Hey, she's totally still into her ex-boyfriend,
so just don't get your heart broken."
And I was like, "Yeah, cool.
Thanks for the advice, but I'm gonna,
I'm gonna proceed forward here."
Because if I didn't try I knew
that I would never forgive myself for that.
(gentle guitar music)
- It must have been a Saturday,
because we were playing ultimate Frisbee.
I'd gone through a breakup in January.
We met in July.
He stood out to me, but I was like,
I was not on the market,
so I was just like, "Oh, he's a nice guy."
We started hanging out a lot.
I was like, "I know who I'm marrying.
It's this other guy over here."
But also I can't stop hanging out with Jake.
And all my friends are like, "Okay, we get it.
You can stop telling us you don't like Jake.
Why do you keep bringing up Jake?"
And I was like, "Yeah, I don't like Jake, okay?
I don't like Jake."
But he was unlike anyone I had met
and our connection was unlike anything I had met.
But that was confusing at first for me.
- I said we met at Frisbee.
- Me too.
- Yeah. - Hm mm.
- I said there was a lingering ex-boyfriend
who was still occupying her affection at the time.
- Same.
(high five hands slapping)
I mean, how can we forget that?
This was a drama for,
- You have no idea, man. - For a year.
(fingers snapping)
So,
long story short,
I finally am done with ex-boyfriend, tell him,
and then about a month later I see Jake.
It was like a curtain had been pulled back.
So, he picks me up.
We go to Joan's on Third.
- We went to Joan's on Third in Studio City,
cuz we both love that place.
It's like our favorite.
- And I know that sounds crazy,
but I remember sitting there thinking,
"If I don't marry this guy."
I just really felt at peace with him in that moment.
- And then we went on a hike.
We were there for a long time, just talking.
- I guess after that we went back to his apartment.
We got Thai food.
- I had bought this like behemoth bottle of cheap red wine.
I was like trying to be smooth and cool
and stuff like that.
And the bag just rips out from the bottom
and the bottle smashes. (Rachel chuckling)
- He cleans it up.
He gets us another bottle of wine, and I was,
I mean it was just like, really showed his heart,
the way he handled that very small moment.
We went on a walk and we ended up
at this like hill where we overlooked LA.
(Jake gasping)
(Rachel laughing)
- You talked about Narnia.
- Yeah, you didn't? - I forgot about Narnia.
- Oh.
- This was the best part of the date.
I actually - Did you-
- couldn't hear anything.
- Was it my hands doing this? - You did this,
and I was like, "Oh my gosh, Narnia."
Narnia is where I knew - Like the arm-
- I loved Rachel.
- Well you knew before that. (chuckling)
- I knew that,
but that was like confirmation to me,
cuz it was like, "This is the most perfect
moment of my life." (chuckling)
(fingers snapping)
I said it first.
I had made this weird, silly commitment to myself,
that I was only gonna say, "I love you"
to a person when I knew I could follow up on it.
I wanna mean it when I say it,
and I wanna only say it to one person, hopefully.
We went on a trip with my family to Paris.
It was the last night of the trip.
I had written Rachel this really long letter
and I told her that I loved her for the first time.
And I actually proposed at the end of the letter.
So, I said, "I love you" for the first time when I proposed.
- Oh no, I think I might cry.
So he said, "I love you" first.
And the reason it's making me cry
is because I just had such a history
of like throwing my heart around,
and I had said, "I love you" a million times.
And so to think that this whole time
there was some guy holding out to only say it to one person
and that I'm that one person is really,
(sniffling and sighing)
amazing.
- I wanted to mean it,
and I wanted to know that I could say that
and know that I had waited to say that to one person
that I knew I could be,
you would be the only person I'd ever say it to.
And you are,
the only person I've ever said it to.
- I know. I'm crying. (Jake chuckling)
I keep crying. (Jake chuckling)
(fingers snapping)
- I always want,
to,
come across as perfect.
And so ultimately what that means
is sometimes I would hide things from her
and I wouldn't be honest.
I'd lie.
Like making decisions on how to manage money.
And there were times when I would
make some mistakes over here,
but then I would just be like,
"Oh, I'm gonna take care of this.
I don't need to share this,
because I'll take care of it.
I'll handle it. I'll handle it."
And I would hide things from her
until ultimately I couldn't hide 'em anymore.
Seeing Rachel's face,
when she found out that I was lying to her
about anything,
is just like the most heartbreaking thing
I've had to go through.
- Oh, man.
Being in a relationship where I'm truly vulnerable
for the first time, I think with that
comes out the best and the worst of you.
When I'm sad or feel scared, I cover it with anger.
I can get so mad and then I'll be mad at him,
and I'll be aware of like, "Oh, this is,
whatever I'm angry at isn't really his fault."
But it's hard to let go of anger in those moments,
because what I'll do is I'll go out in the world
and give my best to everyone else
and then come home and be exhausted.
And if something's gone wrong in my day
I'll take it out on him.
If that happens enough, you know, it affects him.
And so it really makes you start dealing with your stuff
that you've kinda put away in corners
and not dealt with or made excuses for.
- The consequences of my actions now don't just affect me,
they affect you too. - Mm.
- And it's made me grow up in a lot of ways.
- Yeah.
- If you would look on paper
at the things that we've gone through,
like we haven't had like
any traumatic event happen to us,
but like being so connected, like your souls are connected.
You don't just wake up knowing how to do that
the right way. - Yeah.
- And, - You know.
- and you come into marriage,
typically thinking you're doing well
and then it exposes all these things in the relationship.
And so, I think to have a healthy relationship
you have to be healthy individuals.
Through getting healthy on our own
the marriage in turn becomes healthier.
- Hm mm.
Yeah.
(fingers snapping)
- I,
love,
how,
Rachel feels,
so passionately about everything.
She sees the beauty in humanity and in the world
and it is such a joy,
to have her in my life,
because it makes me see the beauty in everything.
Like in just little things that I would just walk past
and never think about.
Like she just, she feels it so deeply.
She's like the color in my world.
Like, you are so much better than I could have ever dreamed,
and you honestly make me such a better man.
- I am super up and down.
I feel a lot.
And he is so steady.
And he's also really taught me
about vulnerability and intimacy,
because again I had so many past relationships
where I was never truly intimate or truly vulnerable.
He has just given me a safe place to be myself
and to actually be intimate and vulnerable with someone.
- You really are everything to me.
- That's what I was gonna say.
- Like you are my world,
and I truly would be in shambles without you.
I have no idea. (chuckling)
I'd probably be dead in a ditch somewhere.
- I think you'd be a farmer in Ohio.
(both laughing)
- Ohio.
Ohio's great, but... (Rachel laughing)
- You know it's hard for me to talk about the way I feel,
but,
I really do love you,
and you are truly the only person for me.
Like really, if you left or died
I would just be happily single,
because, (both laughing)
you are the only person I wanna be with.
I really am so thankful for you.
- I love you. - I love you too.
♪ It's breakfast thrown together ♪
♪ Watch you sleeping in your high school sweater ♪
♪ I've never seen anything better ♪
♪ It's the season three you're watching ♪
♪ A little bit of evening walking ♪
♪ Sitting with your best friend talking ♪
♪ Oh, it's not just picture perfect ♪
♪ Dancing in a white dress ♪
♪ It's not just rainy days when nothing stops the fighting ♪
♪ It's not just highs and lows ♪
♪ The champagne toast I've come to know ♪
♪ Love's not only the best days ♪
♪ Or the worst days ♪
♪ Love is the Tuesdays ♪
♪ Yeah, love is the Tuesdays ♪
(guitar strumming)