i'm gonna take us to
the
first place i lived until i was seven
years old
hang on to your hat
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kind of thought about this was to just
basically do this in chronological order
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so this was my street
back in
the 70s this neighborhood wasn't super
savory
this is it it looks so much nicer by the
way
with like the greenery and the gate
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they
really made it look so much more
romantic
the bars were on the windows
because it just wasn't safe enough but
the neighborhood's gotten so much better
it was pretty scary when i was a kid
here
god i'm so tempted to just beg them to
let me in
they're a dinger
a doorbell
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i
i don't
have to be lonely anymore i was so
lonely in this house
it was just me and my mom and it was it
was just a really sad
energy
it was very empty and very lonely
and um
you know i grew up and got in charge of
my own destiny and now my house is like
grand central station
there's so
much life
and there's so many people
and this place just taught me that i
wasn't the kind of person who wanted to
live in a
quiet
lonely place
i i wanted to live a life where i was
around a lot of people
but they've made the outside so pretty
it's like it's not dark at all it's very
blooming and i see little limes growing
and hummingbird feeders it's it has a
real sweetness now
and 10.
um
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are you manning that thing
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you're doing software testing
there's a full circle future moment
do you live here
i can't believe you're here i i can't
believe you're here well i just so
wanted to revisit
this place this place means so much to
me i spent zero months to seven years
old could i please just walk around the
back i'll walk do one loop and leave
okay okay thank you so much we'll leave
everybody outside thank you for this
opportunity
okay
i'll come visit i come to la
quite a bit
if there was one thing
i learned here my mom used to um
whenever we would eat
she would like stand up at the counter
and i would
eat at the table but i was like why
can't we sit down and have a meal
together
and i judged her for it and i just felt
like why can't we sit down and have like
proper family dinners and then it's so
funny because i'm a single mom running
around my kitchen with my kids
and i have them sitting at the counter
and i'm running around and i'm like oh
i get it it's hard
you know to
live up to that norman rockwell fantasy
it's so not real life yeah i get it now
for sure
i've learned so much living in this
place and i thank you for keeping it
beautiful making it more beautiful
thank you thank you so much
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i learned to drive at sophia lorenz
ranch in calabasas
her two sons carlo and eduardo
taught me in a renault la car and they
taught me on a stick shift
this is it
oh my god when i was trying to attempt
sleeping at night even though i was just
so scared
this is what cats sound like when they
are mating are you ready
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that was the soundtrack to this
apartment
back in the 70s this neighborhood wasn't
super savory i mean for a 14 year old i
was like
i was scared and um
i'm not scared anymore
i'm not scared anymore at all
but i'm so happy that this 14 year old
girl is totally okay
and
hasn't been okay the whole time
even
a few years ago getting divorced i felt
so broken i think the most broken i've
ever felt in my life because all of a
sudden it wasn't about me anymore
it was about two people i cared about
much more than myself that's real fear
that's bigger fear than anything i
experienced as a kid
i definitely
am glad that my kids
no matter what because we're gonna
all of us are gonna screw it up with our
kids we're gonna do our best but we're
gonna make mistakes
i'm so glad that my kids won't be having
to live on their own at 14.
and
that's as healing to the 14 year old me
as it can get
it's nice for just a moment to think
everything's okay it will
disappear later this afternoon or
tomorrow the next day and you have to
fight for it to come back but
in this moment i feel really
relieved by the way that's an underrated
emotion relief
i feel as though we might have to like
stop at a pejito moss today
i love california mexican food that
california soft fluffy rice and those
refried beans
there's nothing like it
so this is book soup which was a
bookstore that i used to go to when i
was a kid because when i was 14 and
living on my own
and emancipated the judge was like by
the way you never have to go to school
again and i was like
yes please
i'm never going to school again and i
was like oh my god i don't want to be
uneducated
so i hit the books and this was
honestly my favorite bookstore
i would always look for the classics i
would start with a
and then i spent 25 years trying to make
it to z
i started to think for a while that
unless a book was this thick
that it wasn't going to be for me
here
is i've read every book he's ever
written the same with
dylan gideon and charles bukowski
the funny thing is is no matter how much
you read
no matter how much you try
you will never
ever read everything you'll never get
there there's not one kurt vonnegut book
that i've ever read that i didn't put
down and think
i just got to live in the mind
of a mad genius that made my life better
and i actually got to have dinner with
him one night
um
and he ate baked beans and drank vodka
and it was the most amazing night ever
it's a favorite book right now
oh
the best ever
do yourself a favor and read everything
she's ever written
it's the one thing i'm not willing to
share you can have the shirt off my back
and the keys to my car but if you touch
my book
i will end you
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okay this is the area that the laundry
mat was i mean everything is so
different now oh
this is it
oh my god it's still here the washing
machine
this is such a dream to be here i spent
years here when i first lived in my
apartment that i was so scared and the
truth was is that i
would let the laundry and dishes and
everything pile up i didn't know how to
clean
but this was where i learned how to take
care of myself
you know the books were the school and
this was like the domestic journey of
learning how to live
on your own
kids don't know how to take care of
themselves until you teach them
olive and frankie i'm coming for you
this was my row
and i would open
and i would stew in the bleach like i
was a witch at her cauldron
like i was butter churning that stuff
this is the origins of my stain removal
story
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everything was okay inside of this
temple if there's one corner in los
angeles that i might love the most it
might be right here on the corner of
sweet sir and third hey it has the word
sweet in it and i just take these
lessons and these feelings and they're
still as relevant to me
today
as they have ever been
that we can just take some time out
and we can clean up our life our side of
the street our laundry our behavior
everything
just purify it somehow clean it it
doesn't have to be perfect it doesn't
erase
anything although i will erase this date
i can't erase my life's problems nor do
i want to but stains they have got to go
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it's right here
the place was all the barbed wire
answering
i was a real wild child
and i just got so out of control that
no one knew what to do with me
and so my mom
called a friend because her daughter was
out of control and
they drove me here in the middle of the
night and they walked me right through
those two doors
and when you go through those two doors
you do not come out
and i was there for a year and a half
and
i hated it i kicked i screamed
one minute you're
at movie premieres and clubbing in the
next minute you're in a full-blown
institution
with barbed wire everywhere and you
can't get out
i think this is important for me
to share with people because when they
watch our show we have a very beautiful
set
and
i get to
dress in nice clothing
and get my hair and makeup done
and there's an elegance hopefully to the
show
but i will never lose sight of this part
of my story
and i have seen and been through things
and they've helped
me
just recognize in all of us
that we go through stuff
and it can't be embarrassing it has to
be our strengths
it has to be something that we can be
proud of because we overcame it and we
look back with honor
and humor
my life is so wonderful compared to what
it was in this place
i can't even believe i
actually get to
be where i am now
because when i was here i didn't see
that i thought i would be here forever i
never thought i was gonna make it
to somewhere better
and i'm just
so happy with my life
and i don't know if i would have the
life i have if it wasn't for a place
like this
so
it was so important to come here today
just like
honor this
i think this can be a good gateway to
start season two
and go deeper with people
i'm never going to not want to be funny
i'm never going to not want to play i'm
never going to not want to be positive
and find the good stuff but i've seen
some stuff and we all have and we need
to deal with it and we need
to figure out how to fix ourselves and
work on ourselves
it's very empowering
it's very celebratory
i don't i wouldn't want to go back
i just get to visit it in my dreams and
wave hello and no i'm not here anymore
and that's pretty cool
welcome to the drewberry show
where we like to keep it real
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you