Giant monsters attack!
Again!
Oh boy, but as it seems we’re all out of luck when it comes to terrifying giant monster
movies being hellbent on devouring us all in a single munch.
The thing is, in part one of this series--you guys were a little bit conflicted on what
actually constitutes a giant monster movie.
In several ways, we contributed the art of monstrous ambiguity toward these great hulking,
cinematic beasts in playing the most integral part to the genre--but hey, that’s not enough
for some of us.
We want giant monsters of a different veracity!
And for that--we may have to break the rules a little.
Well let’s do it.
Hello horror fans, what’s going on, and once again welcome back to the scariest channel
on YouTube--Top 5 Scary Videos.
As per usual, I’ll be your horror host Jack Finch, as today, we curiously take a look
at the Top 5 Scariest Giant Monster Movies--Part 2.
Roll the clip.
For the curious amongst you, that clip was from 2017’s Colossal, starring Anne Hathaway
and Jason Sudeikis in a weird, horror hybrid of a rom-com and monster movie mashup--and
you know what?
I ummed and ahhed about putting that movie on part one of that list, but for the sake
of staying true to the form of horror--I chose not too.
Now, Colossal is probably genreless in its approach--it’s a weird hybrid of a lot of
things, giant monsters included--but I wouldn’t say it has the same essence of what we know
and love about horror--but still, it’s a pretty great movie--so consider it today’s
honorable mention.
Also, as we said previously--no kaiju!
Kicking off at Number 5--Them, 1954
Alright guys--a lot of you folks called for some classic, black and white style monster
movies--and yet, I held off including the more iconic of them--given the fact that,
yeah, no matter how much you’d like to argue against it--they’re still pretty damn dated.
However, one of those movies may well be impervious to the sands of time--and of course, it would
feature an equally impervious creature as it’s titular monstrosity.
Them!
A movie about giant, radioactive ants released way back when in 1954--and yet, despite its
initial premise promising some unabashed cheese of the fifties variety--surprisingly, this
movie holds up phenomenally well.
Particularly in it’s opening scene, which from a horror perspective--was way ahead of
its time.
The sad truth is though, from our high and mighty tower of 2019--when we look back at
black and white cinema, they have to work extra hard for them to stand the test of time.
Granted, movies like Psycho, 1933’s King Kong and the original Godzilla are iconic
in their own right--but still.
The truth remains the same.
To be good, you gotta be the best.
Directed by Gordon Douglas with a story from George Worthing Yates--Them tells the tale
of two New Mexico Police Officers--Sgt Ben Peterson, played by James Whitmore--who in
his later life would go on to play Brooks from The Shawshank Redemption--alongside Trooper
Ed Blackburn, as they discover a young girl, distraught, wandering the desert in a strange,
almost catatonic state.
They take her to a nearby trailer, set up by her family who were vacationing there--only
to find that it has been mysteriously and savagely attacked by a strange, almost impossibly
large creature.
Well, what ensues is a classic, cat and mouse pursuit of two intrigued police officers following
in the wake of destruction--and whilst anything else would be spoilers--when this movie gets
going, it actually really gets going--because--well.
Giant Radioactive Ants.
That’s all I’m saying.
Despite that though, for a movie that, during its time, would have relied on a quick cash
grab--instead, Them actually takes it’s time in portraying an incredibly compelling
narrative.
For storyline and performance alone, this movie is worth a watch--and yes, whilst the
effects may be dated--the bones of this movie are Giant Monster Cinema 101.
Swinging in at Number 4--Prophecy, 1979
And if you thought Annihilation was cool for featuring some mutated Ursine--thing again--because
1979’s Prophecy was doing it before it was even cool.
And--that's the point of this movie, actually--because still, 1979’s Prophecy get’s so trashed
by critics that it’s hard to see the mutated leaves for the trees.
You see, as a Creature Feature--Prophecy is like playing a feral druid in an RPG.
There’s more metamorphoses than you can shake a branch at--but as a Giant Movie Monster--this
movie relies on hodgepodge all of those creatures into one, giant pile of vile mutagenic flesh.
Sounds gross?
Well, yeah, that’s because it is--and Prophecy loses quite a bit of it’s sheen down to
the fact that the practical effects aren’t exactly the greatest--especially when you
understand the choices that this movie made in watering them down.
But--still--there’s something quite charming about Prophecy that makes it worth its salt--and
most importantly--like all worthy monster movies--this one has a message.
Written by David Seltzer and directed by John Frankenheimer, the brilliant yet troubled
director responsible for 1962’s Birdman of Alcatraz amongst many others--Prophecy
was the first flagship title of the so called Hollywood North--a business move in the late
70s intended to give a facelift for cinema in Canada--and what better way to do that
than to create a story about a giant, vengeful forest spirit hellbent on destroying a paper
mill in the woodland of North America.
I mean, yeah, it’s set in Maine--but still, you get the picture.
It tells the tale of Dr. Robert Verne, an environmental scientist who is commissioned
to undertake a report about three lumberjacks that had mysteriously disappeared.
Obviously, his pregnant wife accompanies him--because, of course, that’s the sensible thing to
do--and suddenly, Dr. Verne witnesses something incredibly wrong with the forest.
Giant salmon.
Vicious racoons.
Tadpoles the size of bullfrogs because--why not.
This movie essentially takes the ending scene of Jumanji and injects it with highly mutagenic
substances and then just lets everything go to hell.
Don’t piss off Mother Nature, guys.
That’s all I’m saying.
No, but seriously save the planet.
Next up at Number 3--Monsters, 2010
Okay.
Here we have a pretty difficult one.
On the one tentacle--Monsters features some of the most remarkable special effects that
I’ve ever seen from a debut feature film maker.
On the other tentacle--2010’s Monster is difficult to access.
This movie has a very peculiar pacing that makes it difficult to truly get behind--and
on first viewing of this movie, I was left a little underwhelmed.
However--when you watch this movie back, the craftsmanship behind this movie is astonishing--and
for a film that promises on delivering a certain set of expectations--it certainly does that,
and then completely subverts them.
Hey, maybe you’ll be blown away by this movie like quite a number of people are and
were--but all I’m saying is, if it doesn’t stick--give it another chance.
Also, the guy who made this movie, Gareth Edwards?
Well, I went to the same College as he did--and grew up in the same town.
So, yeah, please don’t think I’m being biased.
Also, just saying--but Gareth Edwards is awesome, and both 2014’s Godzilla and Star Wars:
Rogue One were remarkable efforts.
Monsters tells the tale of a NASA deep-space probe that after crash landing in the wilderness
of Mexico--sprouts extraterrestrial lifeforms that rapidly spread throughout the Mexico-US
border region--subsequently leading to the quarantine of the northern half of Mexico.
Quickly, both the US and Mexican troops frantically battle to contain the creatures--and so a
huge wall stretching the entirety of the border is quickly assembled.
Sound familiar?
Yeah.
This movie is geopolitical and it pulls no punches in that regard.
It’s also… prophetic?
Which is pretty weird to say, but whatever.
It stars Scoot McNairy--who is awesome, by the way--as an American Photojournalist tasked
with finding his bosses daughter, played by Whitney Able, who is stranded in a Mexican
hospital in the heartlands of the ravaged zone.
And that’s all I’ll say really--because this movie is a road movie without any roads,
just giant tentacular creatures roaming the wasteland.
Also, it’s important to note that this movie isn’t exactly scary--but instead, it offers
a far more refreshing angle to the giant monster genre--and that alone is worth taking a look
at.
Coming in at Number 2--The Relic, 1997
Pretty unfortunate timing that, isn’t it?
This movie--like many others--makes SWAT teams look incredible inefficient.
Sorry SWAT--but it’s a pretty glaring trope that I just had to point out.
If you see a SWAT team, you know things aren’t going to go well.
Now, if you guys didn’t know--I absolutely love this weird little 90s oddball of a movie--and
so, it only feels appropriate that somewhere down the line we just have to give it a place
on our Giant Monster Movies list.
Kothoga certainly stands the test of time in that regard--and although flawed in many
ways, amount of unabashed 90s brilliance that is poured into this movie is truly a feat
to be witnessed.
This movie is just… fun.
And if we’re in the mood for being comparative, 1997’s The Relic is the Deep Impact of the
Movie Monster world.
And whilst we all know that Deep Impact is far superior to Armageddon--in that regard,
The Relic is kind of unrivaled too.
And not only is it unrivaled--its just… fun.
This movie is so damn entertaining that you should give it a watch just for that sake.
Directed by Peter Hymans and based upon the 1995 novel of the same name by Douglas Preston
and Lincoln Child--The Relic tells the tale of Dr. Margo Green--played by the awesome
Penelope Ann Miller--an evolutionary biologist who is stationed at the Field Museum of Natural
History in downtown Chicago.
Here, during her application for a brand new research grant--she stumbles upon the unearthed
research of a missing anthropologist, Dr John Whitney--who has seemingly disappeared after
studying the cultural practices of a tribe in the jungles of South America.
Now--part of this research, is a strange stone statue that depicts a creature, known only
as the Kathoga--a mythical monster that rules the forgotten jungles of South America.
And then--of course--suddenly and out of nowhere, people just start losing their heads and their
brains willy nilly in all manners of crazy, mysterious--museum based monstrosities.
If you enjoy ominous camerawork around dark corridors--and if you enjoy the premise of
loosely based anthropology in one of the most underrated and entertaining movies of the
90s--with some remarkable performances to boot--giant monster included, then this movie
is certainly for you.
And finally, coming in at our Number 1 spot--The Ritual, 2017
Alright then guys--let’s pull no punches--if it’s scary that you came for, then scary
is what you’re going to get.
Truth be told--as has been highlighted in both parts of this series--when it comes to
actual *giant* monsters in horror cinema--its relatively difficult to efficiently deliver
on the spooks.
It’s like a sliding scale, really--and the larger these creatures become--then the more
that the technicalities of horror cinema become diminished.
It’s difficult to balance--and perhaps the reason that many of these monster movies have
instead relied on the tried and tested trope of creating the most convincingly large creature
imaginable.
2017’s The Ritual, however--is perhaps the finest balance of the two--and although we
have already covered it in a Creature Feature regard--it is only proper that we give it
its place here too.
Mainly for the fact that--well, the Jotunn is pretty damn large.
And terrifying.
And weird.
But yeah--that’s just what we’ve come to expect when it comes to the mythological
monstrosities of the Ancient Norse.
Directed by David Bruckner--with a screenplay by Joe Barton--2017’s The Ritual is based
upon the 2011 novel of the same name by Adam Nevill--which is surprisingly brilliant.
The film itself stars Rafe Spall, Arsher Ali, Robert James-Collier and Sam Troughton--who
all offer some frickin’ fantastic performances in this movie--and play Luke, Phil, Hutch
and Dom respectively--four best friends who agree to hike the Kungsleden Forest in Sarek
National Park, Northern Sweden--following the tragic death of their long time friend,
Rob--who wished to hike the Trail before he was murdered in an effort to bring their struggling
friendship back together.
And really--thats kind of all there is to The Ritual, without giving any spoilers away--because
it’s four best friends, trapped in a terrifying forest--as a giant monster and it’s fanatical
death cult roam the woodland ready to ruin everyone's day.
And yeah, although the brilliance of this movie relies on some well constructed, interlocking
narratives--ultimately resulting in a more than cathartic ending--the best part of 2017’s
The Ritual--is the creature design alone.
Seriously, the less we say about the Jotunn the better--but this film features one of
the most unique monster designs of recent times--and whilst not as big as Godzilla or
King Kong--as so far as originality in horror cinema goes--this giant terrifying demi-god
is certainly worth the zealotry.
Give it a watch.
Well--there we have it guys--our list for the Top 5 Scariest Giant Monster Movies--Part
2.
So new faces--some old faces--and some reminders to check out some of the greats.
What do you guys think?
Do you agree?
Disagree?
Have any more to add to this list?
Then let us know your thoughts down in the comment section below.
Before we depart though, let’s first take a quick look at some of your more creative
comments from over the past few days.
First up, Teresa O’Brien says—
Jack, could you possibly talk faster?
— Really?
Are you… are you sure, Teresa?
I feel like I may cause a rift in the space time continuum if I speak any faster.
Maybe we should reconsider.
And finally, Toots Magoots says—
Adams family values… one of the best movies ever made???
Dude…
Jack no.
— Toots Magoots…
I’m gonna level with you.
1993’s Addams Family Values, starring Raul Julia and Anjelica Houston is one of the best
movies ever made.
I did not stutter.
And believe me, I will die on this hill.
And on that note--unfortunately, that’s all we’ve got time for in today's video--cheers
for sticking around all the way until the end.