Isn't it crazy how certain books can literally change your life?
Books are so cool.
Sure, Tiktoks are good.
They condense things into like a really short amount of time.
And yes, YouTube videos can be like a more approachable perspective, but books, woah!
I recently read a book which has been on my TBR list, which means to be read
for years.
I can even remember my good friend, Damon Dominique did a little review
series of this on his Instagram.
And even then, I still didn't read it.
I was like, I will read it eventually.
And then a few weeks ago, I got to one of my lowest points that
I have been in a long time.
I really felt like I was losing sight of myself.
And just at that time, this book came to mind again,
except, I actually read it this time.
I've spent the last three weeks writing notes, trying to digest it.
I haven't even fully finished the book.
I've gone back to chapters.
I re-read passages. I read all snippets in the morning,
come back to it in the evening, because this is a book that you can't
just read, like a fun fiction novel.
This is a book that the author even says at the start that like,
you might not be ready for it
because it's just a lot, like it's kind of overwhelming and also kind of hard
to understand and requires an open mind.
If you've been following me for awhile, you would know.
I am fascinated by the idea of learning about yourself,
how you show up and navigate in this world.
So in an attempt to make this book more approachable and also maybe to inspire you
to read it, enjoy some of my learnings.
So a New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. This is my Kindle.
It doesn't have the official cover, but you can just imagine it here's somewhere.
This book discusses the ego, but not the ego in the sense that we
often know it as.
A few months ago if someone said, that person has an ego,
to me, that would mean they're very self-centered,
very big headed, arrogant, out of touch with reality, that kind of thing.
But Eckhart Tolle defines ego differently.
He argues that all of us have an ego. The ego isn't good or bad. In his opinion,
the ego is the version of ourselves that we present to the world.
He argues that people are almost like two parts.
One part is intangible,
indescribable in human words, it pertains to this idea of like consciousness
or soul or the awareness that gives just this physical body a life-
whatever it is animating our bodies.
And then the second version of self is the ego.
At the end of the day, the human will always identify us by this part, our ego.
It is the self we present to the world.
It is the part that we are identified by the people.
It is the part that can be defined by a parent's wealth, jobs, education,
opinions, views, political outlook, your views of right or wrong,
your family members, your friends, everything that makes up
what we think of is you.
And when I say the word I or my, I'm not thinking of my consciousness,
my soul, true version of me, I'm thinking about myself in the way
that I present myself to the world.
This person who is called Jade, who has two parents and the brother.
I am British and Dutch. All these labels and facts of identity that make up
I, as this version of I, that I show to people and the version that I think
of myself, when I say I. And isn't bad that we have this version of self,
this ego, of course, we have an ego.
Of course, we have a sense of self.
There's no way we could function in the human world without having this identity.
But this sense of self is subject to a lot of challenges in the world
which Eckhart basically spends his whole book going through.
He explores the idea of ego in situations like,
wealth and consumption, suffering, competition, jealousy.
Every facet of human life can be attributed towards this ego and this
version that we're operating through the world with rather than the like
consciousness part of us. The unconscious assumption to enhance one's identity
through association with an object
Is built into the very structure of the egoic mind.
And one of the chapters he talks about how having certain things adds
to your sense of self, your sense of identity.
In the ego sense you think to yourself, I have a nice car. That is mine.
I have a nice house.
I have a beautiful daughter.
Like I have, they are mine. I possess them.
And all of these things add to this surface level version of you, this
ego version of you and make you make you feel better about yourself.
And he just goes on to say, the issue is, the ego is never satisfied.
The ego prefers the process of wanting rather than having.
And if you feel any sort of lack in yourself, the lack is not going to go
away through having material things.
The lack will remain until you feel full without the physical things.
He suggests exercises to work out
if your sense of self is bound to the objects that you have.
For example, do satin.
Things that you have increase a subtle sense of like superiority of others.
Do you feel inferior around someone who has a possession that you don't?
Do you feel angry or resentful when you lose a prized possession?
And I think that's just really interesting, especially as someone who tries to be
more of a minimalist, tries not to attach myself to the things that I own, or to
have a better relationship with money.
One of my critiques or thoughts during this section is how
art and fashion and style and clothing can be a reflection of self-expression.
For example, buying things which enhance your life in a meaningful way,
is that bad? Is that adding to this sense of ego?
And I went back and read it again.
And I think what Eckhart is really getting at here,
one of my lessons to take away is this idea of attachment.
You can't truly honor an object if it's just there as a means to an end of
your own ego, but I think if you have objects and you just are aware of how they
can affect your ego, like even just that awareness, I think that's what he invites.
Through being aware that you're not attached to it. You can let it go
if you have to. At the same time, you can honor the object, take pleasure
in the object, especially when it adds worth to your life beyond wanting
to just show it off to other people.
I don't know if I making any sense. It's just really fun to go over these ideas.
In fact, one of the main things Eckhart talks about is awareness in general.
Every time you're aware of something from the perspective of observing it,
you are letting go attachment from it.
You're loosening the power ego house on you.
Like, for example, the voice in your head, if you can already recognize
this is just the voice in my head.
Like, this is just someone telling me stuff. This is me telling myself stuff.
If you can just be aware of that and like separate yourself from
it a little bit, instantly, the ego has less power of you because you're
aware of how it can be affecting you rather than saying,
I am sad.I am lonely. I've got no identity. You can observe it.
You can say, there is sadness here.
I've observed myself right now, and there's a feeling of loneliness here.
And this detaches the true you from that experience because you are never sadness.
That's not your identity. You are not sad
You're more than a fleeting feeling, but your body, your physical form, can
feel that emotion of sadness. You can give it a label and say that is
sadness, but when you can observe it and label it, you can then dig into it more
and be like, "Why is this sadness here?
What's the cause? What is affecting me?
What are these patterns of thoughts?"
So you're moving from this place of being consumed by something and
adding to your sense of identity to
knowing that your identity is so much more than your current feelings
or current situation, and then just observing it in a more healthy way.
You don't have to get rid of the feeling. It just stops having more power of you.
For example, in quarantine, I became so wrapped in people's perceptions of me.
I felt incredibly sad, overwhelmed, overthinking, and
just lived in this idea of
Jade in the opinions of others, Jade, as I exist to you, Jade, as people
think of her online.
And I've just constantly relive all these comments.
But what I was really doing was just living in this like ego, even victimizing myself.
That's just ego.
I couldn't be fully present with what's going on in the moment, because I
was just consumed with thoughts and truly identifying with the thoughts as
opposed to realizing that that just thoughts. It's just in my head.
And then one of the main things Eckhart touches on is this idea of a role.
A role that you're playing day to day. Throughout our lives,
the real version of us, that consciousness, that soul, which
can't be changed is playing hundreds of different human roles.
I play the role of Jade, the YouTuber.
I play the role of Jade,
the sister, Jade, the friend, I play the role of a British white girl existing
in a society with all the implications of that identity within the society.
I'm sorry, Classic. Jade might have just died a while back.
Okay. Yes. So first and foremost, we have our physical bodies.
If you have certain genitals at birth instantly, you are subjected to a very
specific set of norms, assumptions, cultural values, and expectations.
Just based off of the concept of gender.
In some places, life's fulfillment is literally about how well you can fulfill
the expectations of that gender identity, like getting married by
a certain point, having kids, being strong or tough, or providing for a family.
Like, that is something that the human world has defined for us
and isn't innate. Eckhart says that people who are so consumed
with looks and appearances and their own amazing strengths and abilities
are more likely to experience suffering when the appearance and those abilities
eventually fade as you get older.
And so, it's not that you don't have to enjoy and appreciate your body and
how it looks, but instead, working to identify more with your true form, your
consciousness, as opposed to the physical version of you. That's something I'm
taking away from this book. Instead of putting all my identity in what people
can see, can I put more time into
the real me? Things like meditation, yoga exercise, things where I tap into
myself and my own mind and mental health, that kind of thing. In that sense,
you're tapping into awareness, this idea of an inner body, as opposed
to just like an outer body.
I don't know if you've ever done yoga or meditation.
And I know I probably sound like very much a hippie in this video, which is fine.
I'm still walking out where I stand spiritually
in religion, that kind of thing. I just think this stuff resonates with me a lot.
It's truly interesting.
If you've never done meditation, I really invite you to try it.
It's about going inward.
Like, for example, right now, if you close your eyes and I asked you to
feel your hand, like, you don't have to see your hand, you don't have to move
your hand, but you can just
feel that it's there. I can fel that I have a hand there. Try it right now.
Just close your eyes.
And I'll ask you, like, think of your foot right now.
You don't have to look at it. You don't have to move it.
You can just feel it's there. You know, it's there.
And that kind of like pulls that feeling.
Is the idea of this inner body. And in the book, he says that the
more touch you are with that inner body, the more you tap into that.
And the lastly, identifying with your outer body. The more you're moving past
this ego itself to something deeper.
Yes. And coming back to roles.
And the idea of this voice in your head, the more stories you tell yourself about
the roles that you play day-to-day the more consumed you get in them.
The last you check in with this awareness, this inner body, this
inner you, something was just said in the book, which was so woah is
the voice that you're speaking in your head is a human language.
Like my inner voice is in English, which means my thoughts about the world
are limited to the English language.
And the English language
is just a series of random sounds to try and make sense of the world.
It tries to categorize things, put labels on intangible feelings on
things which can't really be described.
Language tries to capture that as best it can.
And so if I am only identifying with a voice in my head, then I'm losing
so much nuance to situations where it could just be present because there
are things you can't just use thoughts.
and your voice to understand. There are things which can only be felt.
There are answers which aren't just words. I don't know how to describe it,
but that concept resonates with me.
And I think one of the main things that resonates with me in this
idea of roles that people play is the more that you can remember
day-to-day that every single person you see
is operating under some kind of role right there and then
whether that is the role of someone in customer service or a waiter,
whether that is the role of a respectful child doing something for their
parents, the more that you can see that this person's sense of self in the ego
sense has been shaped by challenges in life, expectations, pressures, society,
norms, all these human things, but that beneath it, we're all just the same
then I think it's just easier to forgive people, to not be attached to things people
do. When your ego rises and wants to say things like,
Oh, I'm better than you. I'm better than them.
I'm doing worse than, Oh, I'm not worthy of being here.
Like, no, we're just the same.
I think they're just stupid titles or categorize ourselves
by things like classes.
So many categorizations. The human world just gave us different circumstances
and different starting points. So, if someone does something bad, you can
just think that is that ego reflecting some kind of challenge in their life.
But you can just let go a little bit more. You can detach a little bit more.
You can take things less personally. And as I'm coming to an end, I just
think it's hilarious that I am distilling all these things to you because
I think this is just how I work.
I really enjoy consuming interesting content that makes me think,
and then trying to summarize it in some way or communicate it in
some way to help me understand it in a way that I could then apply.
I'm so subject to my own ego all the time.
I overthink things alot.
I attach things to my identity a lot.
I compare myself to people.
I get defensive, I get attached to things.
I want things. I get personally affected by people's opinions
of me and comments about me.
But this book is just
food for thought, just teaches you to be aware in a different way.
It's a framework for looking at life that personally resonates with me.
And if you've made it this far in this video, that's quite impressive.
And I highly recommend you pick up the book because I think this is a book
that I am going to have to read many times to remind myself of these
things as it gets swept up again, swept away in the stresses of human life
but it's also super dense.
So I would love to revisit.
Thank you so much for watching. This is a very random video.
I think it does capture how I've been thinking a lot about my life and myself
in the last few weeks. I'll leave a link down below
and if you've read this book, I would love to hear your thoughts.
As I go on in my YouTube journey too,
I would love you to remind me to come back to the concepts of this book.
As I inevitably forget them and make mistakes and have to learn
and presented with new challenges.
That's the fun of human life.
Okay. Very briefly, casual magic of the day.
I'm wearing yellow today.
And I just feel like a bit of sunshine, but it made me wear
black a lot. And wearing this colour it just feel so...
I just love that. It just feels brave.
I have a good rest of the day. Bye.