now you're grown this is your life take responsibility for it you can't keep sitting
here blaming mom and dad welcome back to Neemah Speaks a place where I empower women throughout
the diaspora remember "don't you know that a man being rich is like a girl being pretty you
might not marry a girl just because she's pretty but my goodness doesn't it help" with your host
Neemah Speaks. Hey lovelies welcome back to Neemah Speaks today I want to come back and do the
most requested video that I recently got on how to remain unbothered and give zero f I have come to a
point in my life where I just don't give an f about what nobody else thinks about me because as I say
That's your problem. That's your personal opinion. And opinions are like bottoms everybody has some.
So without further ado, let's get started. The first step for you to give zero f,
live drama-free and remain unbothered is by Stop asking other people for permission. This is your life.
You need to take control of your life and give zero f what nobody else does about your life.
By you taking things that are happening in your life and including third party people and asking
them for permission, you're inviting irrelevant people with a relevant opinion. Remember opinions
are not facts. You are inviting and you are giving away your power. You're risking losing your power
and your motivation by asking everyone else around you for permission to move forward
with your idea. For permission to move forward with your life. For permission to move forward to do
something and achieve something in your life. I'm not saying for you to be irresponsible. Do
random things. Yes, there are some things that you might have to quote-unquote ask
for permission. But if you're a grown woman, you need to stop asking people for permission.
This is your life. What other people think about it it's none of their business. If you're a feminine
woman. You're soft, you're feminine and you want to be unapologetically spoiled but you think that
people are gonna call you a "gold digger". People are gonna call you lazy people and are gonna say
you have "no life" and you will feel shy about it. and you don't wanna be spoiled you don't want to
go for a provider because people are gonna think you're shallow so you are trying to ask
permission and try to see is this okay for me to be spoiled. Is it okay for me to look for a provider?
Stop that! Stop giving your power away. I had to learn this the hard way because if you were
to meet me in 2017 early 2018. Yeah, I was that girl who always wanted to please people because I felt
uncomfortable and I thought I need to ask other people what do they think. One of the things to
stop doing is, don't post your relationship on social media. Quit looking for validation
from random people because nobody cares about your problem in your life as much as you do. And if you
want to live drama free and stop caring about irrelevant people is you gotta stop asking for
permission especially for my ladies out there. We have a bad habit where we don't want to think for
ourselves. We want other people to validate our opinion. The first thing is that; quit asking
other people for permission for you to live your life. Stop it! Rhe second step to giving zero
f and remaining and bothered for the rest of your life especially for my sisters out there is that
learn to be comfortably independent. Now again i have said this before maybe I may make this video
for the future about being self-sufficient. One of the things that was instilled in me since I was
young is this ability to be comfortably independent.Now I'm not talking about you
being a strong independent woman who don't need no men. blah blah blah blah That's toxic.
we're not talking about that toxicity. What I'm talking about is you learning to be comfortable
independently. Let me give you an example maybe you just got out of a long-term relationship. I have
one of my friend where she has not been single, she has not been by herself since we were in middle
school. Like 10 or 11. Since 10 or 11 she has been from one relationship to another relationship
to another relationship when she gets off a the relationship she's looking for a new relationship
and that's how you run into the drama. That's how you become bothered by other people's opinion
and what other people have to say. Because you didn't learn to be comfortably independent.
Instead of finding someone else to depend on, instead of you trying to jump on from
relationship to relationship, As my friend does! Something that will get you out of your dependent
funk. You are dependent. You cannot be alone. Being dependent comes in many different ways.
Maybe you have gone through drama, maybe you're abandoned when you were a kid now you're grown
this is your life take responsibility for it you can't keep sitting here blaming mom and dad.
You are grown and this is harsh but Neemah's gonna give you tough love. Take personal accountability
be independent you can't keep blaming something that happened 50 years ago enough is enough. You're
gonna take personal accountability. If you're dealing with trauma seek therapy! Go to therapy
If somebody inappropriately did something to you when you were a baby. Go to therapy talk it out!
Deal with it. If you have a fear of being abundanded or left alone? Learn to be comfortably
independent. If one of your fear is that you cannot provide for yourself and it's all fun and games
because I always talk about being spoiled, always men providing for you, men giving you stuff but
my daddy,
he taught me to be independent. To be able to make enough by myself so I can take care of myself.
But, it's nice if a man can do it for you. Many ladies they become dependent on their men
or their significant other. If you are self-sufficient and you can do everything
by yourself. You are capable of doing it. The third step on how to stop letting other people
opinions define who you are is Be Assertive. Now you may be like Neemah. Girl what? be assertive?
Yes, I had to learn this the hard way. If you haven't watched my video on the Art of Nice Nasty
in that video, I have told you before. Of people who really tried me. A woman who really, really
tried my patient and she thought that her irrelevant opinion that was none of my business
should matter to me. I do not give an f what you think about me. So what exactly
do I mean by to be assertive? One of the way to be assertive is, I learned to say NO>
I learned to say no to people and i don't feel bad about it
until recently, in 2019 I used to feel so terrible when people ask me to do something or
they want something from me and i want to say no but i just feel so uncomfortable and i feel guilty
and I try to explain myself as to why I'm saying no. No is a full sentence. No is a complete sentence.
let that sink in . and all period that's a full sentence once i stopped asking other
people for permission to live my life and i was comfortably independent where that
i can do stuff by my own i became more assertive if somebody is trying to give
me their unsolicited advice about my life I'm gonna tell them no thank you that means
keep your opinion to yourself no thank you, please f off. No thank you. Your opinion is irrelevant
and your tone gotta be assertive. That's how you remain drama free and unbothered
if somebody's asking me to do something that I don't want to do. The answer is no. And that goes
the same way with when people start giving you opinion about your life, and you're gonna learn
to nip that in the butt. Nip it in the butt and if somebody's not hearing you when you tell them no
that's when you use the art of nice nasty that's when you give them those little quirky comebacks
when somebody just won't shut up. You gotta use the art of nice nasty to shut them up I can go on and
on forever but this is how i remain drama free and i stay unbothered while giving zero f is because
i don't let other people's opinion of me define my life if you'd like to become a part of nima
speaks inner circle where you get exclusive videos and shout out go to www.patreon.com and become a
part of the inner circle go-ahead hit that like button to show me that you enjoyed today's video
share this video with anybody else who need to hear this message as always affirmation
of the day right down below i am unapologetically unbothered with the blind kane holding girl emoji
to show me that you made it this far into the video. As always sisters. nap and sauna
Nawapenda Sana