-Welcome, everybody.
Welcome, welcome, welcome to "The Tonight Show."
Thank you for being here. Thank you for watching.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Well, everyone, Christmas is almost here.
Only a few shopping days away.
Yeah. Only a few shopping days are left.
Now, a little heads-up about a very popular gift, though.
More than 300,000 air fryers
sold at Walmart, Target, and Kohl's have been recalled
because of a potential burn hazard.
-Oh, no. -Ooh.
-Everyone who already bought one of them as a gift was like,
"Eh, it's their problem."
They're being recalled at Target and Walmart,
while Kohl's is just selling him as a Yule log.
[ Laughter ]
That's right -- Christmas is just a few days away,
which means there's a lot of people out there
sending out their holiday cards.
I've already seen some pretty interesting ones this year.
For instance, look at this.
This one's from the President. President Biden.
On the front, it says...
[ Laughter ]
-Come on...
-Don't -- -Come on
-Don't write your own jokes!
Let me do the joke! Please let me do it!
[ Cheers and applause ]
[ Laughs ]
This is a real card that I'm getting,
and I'm sharing some of my personal life with the audience.
-This isn't a comical thing. -And they think it's a joke!
Yeah. This is something I received in the mail.
-In the mail. Sure. -Yes. Of course.
The front of the card, of course, says...
-Says what? -It says --
No, it doesn't say "what." -Oh.
-That -- That might be the inside, but it's not -- No.
-It's not. -No, no, no.
-The front of the card says "Do You Hear What I Hear?'
Open it up, it says...
[ Applause ]
"Eh? Ehh?!"
[ Applause ]
Next, here's one from X.
-X. -Yeah.
It says...
-Ah. -Yeah.
Open it up, it says...
That is...
[ Applause ]
Here's one from Apple. It says...
Open it up, it says...
-Oh. -Yeah, that...
[ Applause ]
Here's one from George Santos I got. It says...
Open it up, it says...
[ Applause ]
♪ Three-digit CVV ♪
Here's one I got from Timothée Chalamet.
-Oh! -It says...
Open it up, it says...
-Oh! -Yeah.
Next up, here's one from Eric Adams. It says...
Open it up, it says...
[ Laughter ] -Wow.
-Why would you --
-That's what he sent you?
-Oh, hey, here's one from Vivek Ramaswamy.
-Oh. -It says...
Open it up, it says...
That's sad. That's sad.
And, finally, here's one from BMW. It says...
Open it up, it says...
Interesting.
These are all great. Got a lot of things. Thank you.
-Whoa! -Guys, it's that time of year
when a lot of companies release all their sappy,
sentimental commercials. You know what I'm talking about?
Those ads for the holidays that really tug at the heartstrings.
But I gotta say, some of these feel a little forced.
Take a look at this one I saw here. Look at this.
-The holidays are special.
It's the time of the year we enjoy spending evenings
with family, friends, and loved ones,
and we're here to ruin it all.
-You see what I'm saying?
It tugs at the heartstrings, but still...
-Something is off. -You see what I'm saying. Yeah.
There's a bunch of those commercials out there.
This one doesn't make any sense as a holiday commercial,
no matter how hard they try. Look at this.
-'Tis the season.
And to spread holiday cheer,
we're taking the time to hydrate the threaded support rods
in all of our slip joint hexameters.
Using lubricated flange gaskets
to keep low range back seepage to a minimum,
we make sure that your loved ones can celebrate the holidays
while keeping turk-nating pick loops and sink
within the 3-millimeter tolerances
you've come to expect
from Rexford Industrial Pipe Fittings.
-I mean, that -- I mean -- -Wow.
-[ Sniffles ] -Beautiful.
-That one actually got me. -That's beautiful.
-That one actually got me. That's what Christmas is all about.
This is the last one here I just saw, too.
This one. Last night. Look at this right here.
-There's no better way to spend this season
than curled up with your loved ones,
snuggled up close by a roaring fire...
only we can start.
Tesla.
-I just thought that's -- I find that very interesting.
[ Applause ]
[ Laughter ]
Meanwhile, as the year comes to a close,
the 118th Congress is on track
to be one of the most unproductive in modern history.
Do you know how hard it is to be the most unproductive Congress?
That's like being the highest person at a Phish concert.
You know? It's very hard to do.
Did you guys see this? In a recent speech,
Marjorie Taylor Greene said that she is "sick and tired"
of being around "stupid people" in Congress.
[ Laughter ]
Then she said, "Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have a meeting with Skylar, Lord of the Serpent Creatures."
Well, get this. Dunkin Donuts just announced
that after a two-year hiatus,
the Pink Velvet Macchiato is returning.
Take a look at this thing. Yeah.
-Ooh! Whoa! -It's a perfect combo.
Coffee and Pepto. I love it.
-Mmm! [ Applause ]
-Finally, guys, we have exactly four shows left
before we go on Christmas break, which means it's time
for that beloved "Tonight Show" tradition.
It's time for 12 Days of Christmas Sweaters! Here we go!
-♪ 12 Days of Christmas Sweaters ♪
♪ Four days left ♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
That is right!
Every show between now and Christmas,
we'll be giving one lucky audience member
a "Return of the Mack"-adocious Christmas sweater
from the Countdown to Christmas cabinet.
Since there are four shows left, let's open door number four.
[ Drum roll ]
Right here. Whenever you're ready. Yeah.
Thank you very...
Wow.
[ Cheers and applause ]
♪♪
[ Bells jingling ]
This is nice here.
Can we dim the lights a little bit?
[ Cheers and applause ]
Ooh. Look at that.
Wow. This is fantastic. Alright.
Now let's see who's going home with tonight's sweater.
Everyone look at your seat number.
If I call your number,
I need you to jump up and let me know where you are.
Quest, can I get a drum roll, please?
[ Drum roll ]
Who wants me to pick their numbers to get one?!
[ Cheers and applause ]
Here we go!
420!
♪♪
That's a good one right there...
♪♪
Hey, bud. How you doing? Come on over.
♪♪
Nice to see you. -It's nice to see you, too!
-How are you? -I'm doing great.
-What is your name? -My name is Julia.
I'm from Virginia.
-From Virginia! Julia is here!
[ Cheers and applause ]
All the way from Virginia.
Now, Julia, you look very nice,
but it gets -- it gets chilly in Virginia.
-It does. -Yeah. And you have sweaters.
And you have, you know, things to wear.
-Yeah. Not enough, though.
This is -- This will be the perfect addition.
-And if you're out at night, I'm just saying...
You know, it's safety. Safety is sexy, you know?
That's what I always say.
-Yeah. -Would you like to try this on?
-I would love to. -I think this will be --
This will go great with the dress.
It'll go great with the dress, I think.
Good luck.
-We're almost there. -Yeah. That's right.
It's not easy to get into, but...
-Where's the head? -Oh, yeah. No. That's good.
Ohh! Ohh!
[ Cheers and applause ] Ohh! Ohh!
Oh! Knock-out! Are you kidding me?
Thank you so much. You look fantastic.
Happy holidays. Good to see you.