[mugger] This is a holdup, lady.
[woman] No!
-Scream all you want. -[squirrel squeaks]
Look around. There's no people here.
[Squirrel Girl] No, but there are squirrels.
And they'll always protect innocents.
Ow!
[mugger] Were those acorns?
[grunts]
Aah!
The unbeatable Squirrel Girl at your service, ma'am.
As you may have guessed,
I have all the powers of a squirrel
and all the powers of a girl.
And this is my partner, Tippy-Toe.
She's a squirrel with all the powers of a girl
and all the powers of a squirrel.
We fight crime!
Whoa, did that girl just beat up some innocent parkgoers?
Oh, no, not at all.
See, they're the muggers, and I was fighting them
to get this lady's purse back.
Right, ma'am?
It's true. Thank you for helping me,
uh, Furry Vest Teen.
Seriously?
I'm Squirrel Girl.
I just said it.
Man, I knew I needed a theme song.
Folks always remember information
if it's delivered in theme song form.
[squeaking]
-[cell phone vibrates] -Oh, dang.
I'm super late for class.
[school bell rings]
Whew!
Late again, Miss Green.
I'm so sorry. I got held up before class.
Well, a friend of mine did.
That's why I'm late?
Take your seat, Doreen.
Whew.
[Nancy] Crime fighting?
[Doreen] Muggers. They weren't expecting me.
I ate nuts and kicked butts, Nancy.
[Nancy] That's what I like to hear.
Ahem. Now, then,
who here can tell me
how to swap the values of two variables
without using a third variable?
Bitwise or.
What does "DDoS attack" stand for?
[Doreen] Distributed denial of service attack.
-Who can--? -Von Neumann architecture.
Non-deterministic polynomial time.
OSI model layers.
[Nancy] You sure your real superpower
isn't answering questions in computer class, Squirrel Girl--
[Doreen] Nancy, keep your voice down.
It's a secret identity,
not a "blab about it to the whole quad" identity.
-[school bell rings] -[Doreen] I admit
I'm really enjoying the lectures.
Plus, boarding school means we get to live downtown.
That's where crime sometimes happens.
Not all of us have superpowers and a tail
we tuck into our pants, Doreen.
Aw, come on, Nancy.
I know one day we'll discover your superpower.
-And on that day-- -[squirrel squeals]
That's Tippy. She's in danger!
[grunts]
Uh, you're probably wondering
how my roommate did that just now.
I'm pleased to explain that was a Skrull shape-shifter
who obviously just took her form.
Dang it, Doreen.
One day that's not going to work.
[squeaking]
[Squirrel Girl] Tippy! Are you okay?
Don't worry, we're going to kick the butt
of whoever did this to you...
[Ulth-Lah-Throth roars]
Tremble, mortals,
for today, your dimension falls
to Ulth-Lah-Throth, the devourer!
[Squirrel Girl] Okay, yes,
he's clearly insanely bad news.
But what are we going to do, not help people?
Let's eat nuts and kick bu--
Wait, is that Dr. Strange?
Wait, is that a random bystander with a tail?
[Dr. Strange] To safety, civilian.
I will defeat Ulth-Lah-Throth.
I'm not a civilian.
I'm the unbeatable--
Squirrel!
By the bountiful blades of Bromagdon.
Strange! Three o'clock!
[car horn honks]
You are a hero?
Yeah, man! This is going to be great!
My first team-up.
You bring the magic cred, I've got the science knowledge.
Do you think our team name should be "Strange Squirrel"?
Or maybe "Dr. Girl".
[Dr. Strange] Science? I don't understand.
Is your tail mechanical?
No way. I grew this beauty myself.
I meant computer science, you know?
Stay here. And don't do anything foolish.
I mean, I'm not at Tony Stark's level
of self-sufficient AI suit builds yet,
but that's because we've mostly just been studying,
like, network design so far.
Uh, you okay in there?
Only need a moment to focus my spellcraft.
[Squirrel Girl] Why didn't you just say so?
Tippy, remember the computer reading I told you about?
[squeaks]
That's right, layer seven.
[grunts]
Hey, eye-arms.
[Ulth-Lah-Throth] Mortal.
Do you now seek to be the first to perish?
Not hardly!
[Ulth-Lah-Throth roars]
[Ulth-Lah-Throth] I had hoped Earth's people
would be entertaining in their destruction,
but you were nothing but a temporary distraction.
Yeah, that distraction part was by design.
Distributed denial of service attack, you bully.
It's just like with computers:
the average server can handle a few attackers,
but when there are thousands attacking all at once,
they go down!
By the mystic moons of Munnopor,
I send thee back to thy accursed dimension.
This realm shall be safe once more!
[Ulth-Lah-Throth screams]
[squeaks]
Yes!
Doc, that was incredible.
We should definitely do this on the regular.
You know, like partners.
Squirrel Girl,
you should not have involved yourself in this fight.
What? Strange, I just DDoS-ed the interdimensional evil.
And in doing so, you needlessly put yourself
and your woodland friends in mortal danger.
I am the sorcerer supreme, with years of training.
You are a well-meaning high school student
with a furry tail.
Excuse me?
Both those things are awesome.
[Dr. Strange] Continue your studies, noble Squirrel Girl,
and one day we can be allies once more.
Find experience. Find wisdom.
And then, on that day, find me.
That's it? "Find wisdom"?
I already had the wisdom to send the Squirrel Scouts,
you goop-tee-sculpting jerk!
-[squeaks] -Yeah.
I'm not even sure Strange knew what a DDoS was
until we did it.
Whatever. His loss.
Let's get out of here.
[man] Hey, the Rhino's robbing a bank.
Only an animal or possibly science-themed hero
could save us now.
Hey, no reason we can't kick a little butt along the way.