- Do you ever feel like all of your instincts are wrong?
Every choice you make blows up in your face.
All your good intentions go sideways
and you just can't seem to get things right.
George Costanza, from Seinfeld
knows exactly what that's like.
I want to take a look at what to do.
If you feel like your life isn't going the way you want.
So George sat down in the cafe with Jerry and Elaine
and he's decided that he's all, he always
orders the same thing every day at this diner.
And he just needs to do something different.
So, he orders the exact opposite of what he normally orders.
(energetic music)
- Now there's no telling what can happen from this.
- You know, chicken salad's not the opposite of tuna.
Salmon's the opposite of tuna
cuz salmon swim against the current
and the tuna swim with it.
(audience laughter)
- Good for the tuna.
- Uh, George? You know, that woman just looked at you.
- So what, what am I supposed to do?
- Go talk to her.
- Elaine, bald men with no jobs
and no money who live with their parents,
don't approach strange women.
(audience laughter)
- Well, here's your chance of trying the opposite,
instead of tuna salad and being intimidated by women,
chicken salad and going right up to 'em.
- Yeah, I should do the opposite.
I should.
- If every instinct you have is wrong,
then the opposite would have to be right?
- Yes. I will do the opposite.
I used to sit here and do nothing
and regret it for the rest of the day.
So now I will do the opposite and I will do something.
- I love this show.
- Excuse me.
I couldn't help but notice
that you were looking in my direction.
- Oh yes, I was.
You just ordered the same exact lunch as me.
- My name is George,
I'm unemployed and I live with my parents.
(audience laughter)
- I'm Victoria, hi.
- Okay, so.
I have no idea how that would go in real life
but I do appreciate, and I think she appreciates
the candor and the honesty.
When it comes to dating,
there's so much posturing.
There's so much falsehood.
There's so much putting yourself
out there and projecting something better
than you actually are, different than you actually are.
That to straight up own who you are
and what you're about is refreshing.
And what I do like about that
is that is a great way to approach dating.
Not to say here's all my flaws and foibles.
I mean, I do think there's something to be said
about putting a best foot forward
but about still it being true, it being real,
it being honest and you know, fairly quickly
showing who you are and what you, what you really are.
And seeing if this person wants that, you know
it's a way to not waste time.
- Are you growing a beard?
- Why shave every day? Just grows right back.
(audience laughing)
- I guess.
- Yeah. I'm afraid
I'm just not interested in how I present myself.
Those kind of superficialities are important to you,
this probably isn't gonna work.
(audience laughing)
(tires screeching)
(car honking)
- Watch! They just cut you off, did you see that?
- Take it easy. Take it easy.
It's not the end of the world.
- Because normally he would cuss them out.
I love it.
Here's the thing though, about what I just said
when George approached her and he says I'm unemployed
and I live with my parents,
he is being real and he's showing her who he is.
But then the rest of the episode
he's doing the opposite, right?
The opposite of his actual instinct
the opposite of who he is.
So in that case, he is not showing her the real him.
He's showing her the opposite, which is what she's into.
Look how calm he is when he gets cut off in traffic.
If you've watched the show
that is not normally how George would be.
- Baby, how about a little tongue action, huh?
- Yeah, stick your tongue down his throat.
- What are we gonna do?
Should we just move?
- Normally George would walk away cuz he's scared of people.
(men laugh loudly)
- Shut your traps and stop kicking the seats!
We're trying to watch the movie.
And if I have to tell you again, we're gonna take it outside
and I'm gonna show you what it's like.
You understand me?
Shut your mouths or I'll shut 'em for you.
And if you think I'm kidding, just try me.
Try me, because I would love it.
(audience laughter)
- Tangent confession.
I have been that guy in the movie theater.
Maybe not quite so aggressive, but pretty close.
Cause I hate when people talk
during movies and are on their cell phones
and kicking the seats and making their own jokes.
And I go to get immersed in the theater.
And so Alicia has seen that side
of me and it's not the opposite.
That's the real me.
I've been called a movie Nazi
because after the soup Nazi on Seinfeld, right?
No soup for you.
I will shush people and I will stand up
and I will raise my voice at them and shut people down.
Haven't raised my voice in a long time.
That was more of a teens and twenties thing,
but I still enforce.
So if you're in a movie theater with me
you're in good hands because you'll enjoy the show.
- Are you sure you don't wanna come up?
I mean, it's only 9:30.
- I don't think we should.
We really don't know each other very well.
- Who are you, George Costanza?
- I'm the opposite of every guy you've ever met.
- Okay. So let's talk about in our lives really fast.
You feel like the choices that you make are wrong
that your instincts are wrong.
That things keep blowing up in your face.
And the idea, should you just do the opposite?
Is that a good idea?
In some circumstances, yeah, it might be.
It might be time to shake things up
and not to be untrue to yourself
but to see what trying a different behavior
feels like.
When you lose your temper,
what would it be like to be calm?
When you go for just what you want
without regards to the consequence, it might be time
for a little more self-control and consideration.
If things are going poorly
it might be a good idea to change the behaviors up.
Again, not to be deceptive, but to try them on
and try them out and see if they're a fit for you.
This worked really well for George.
On the one hand
he didn't have any intimacy that night.
On the other, she's more interested in him
than she ever would've been before.
And I saw that with Alicia, by the way.
You've seen Alicia.
She's attractive.
When she was single, she went on dates,
guys would try to be physical with her pretty quickly.
And that wasn't me.
I mean, I, I kept things nice and slow
because I wanted to show her that I respected her
and because I wanted it to be meaningful.
And she's told me that made me so much more interesting
to her and so much more attractive
to her that I rode the brakes a little bit and
gave it a little space and time to, to show that respect.
I was the opposite of every guy she'd ever dated
or a lot of the guys she'd ever dated.
So, you know, shake things up.
- Why don't you tell me
about some of your previous work experience?
- Alrighty. My last job was in publishing.
I got fired for having sex
in my office with the cleaning woman.
(audience laughter)
- Go on.
- Alright there.
Well, before that I was in real estate.
I quit because my boss
wouldn't let me use his private bathroom.
That was it.
- Do you talk to everybody like this?
- Of course.
- Well, my niece told me you were different.
- I am different, yeah.
- But I gotta tell you
you are the complete opposite
of every applicant we've seen.
- Oh Mr. Steinbrenner, sir.
- Owner of the Yankees.
- Someone here I'd like you to meet.
This is Mr. Costanza. He's one of the applicants.
- [Mr. Steinbrenner] Nice to meet you.
- Well, I wish I could say the same
but I must say with all due respect
I find it very hard to see the logic behind some
of the moves you have made with this fine organization.
In the past 20 years, you have caused myself
and the city of New York, a good deal of distress.
As we have watched you take our beloved Yankees
and reduce them to a laughing stock
all for the glorification of your massive ego.
- [Mr. Steinbrenner] Hire this man.
(audience laughter)
- Honesty is refreshing.
If you feel like the decisions you're making are wrong,
maybe like George,
you're trying too hard to protect yourself,
to protect an image, to not be real and speak your mind.
Now sometimes doing the opposite means, you know
when he says, I don't think we should
we really don't know each other.
That's not truly how he feels.
Talking to Mr. Steinbrenner this way
is exactly how he feels.
You probably won't get a job by
chewing out your potential boss right out of the gate.
But being honest and being candid and being real.
My, my thinking is that people don't like false advertising
whether it's in dating or in business or
in school or in anything else,
they like to know who they're dealing with.
I would much rather deal with a straight shooter.
Even if they say things I don't like than someone who smiles
to my face and then says crap behind my back.
So when it comes to your instincts
when it comes to what you're doing with your life, again
shake things up, be true to yourself.
Don't go so far as George as to actually lie and pretend
in another direction to be something that you're not
but be you.
Be polite, be respectful, be kind.
But be you, be real.
In dating, you may think that someone won't want you
but do you really want to be with somebody
if you have to pretend to be someone thing else?
You want to be with somebody who sees you and wants that.
So, you enjoy this blast from the past another 90's sitcom
Fresh Prince I therapize a great moment
between Will and Uncle Phil about Will's dad.
You know the one, if you've seen it.
If you haven't, buckle up and get prepared to cry.
Do you think trying the opposite would work for you?
Why or why not?
Let me know in the comments below.
What classic sitcom would you like me to therapize?
Let me know in the comments below.
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And until next time keep shining,
we need your light.
And here it comes in West Philadelphia, born and raised.
Take it from here.
I know you are, uh huh.