What’s happening YouTube…
I am the one and only ‘Breakup Brad’, and in a few seconds I’m going to explain
what you should do if your ex backs away or grows cold and distant.
If you’re not interested in getting back together with your ex, then this probably
isn’t the video for you… but if you ARE working on reversing a breakup and getting
a second chance with your ex, then keep watching.
As most of you already know, breakups are what I do….
My program, The Ex Factor, is the single most effective guide for anyone trying to get back
together with an ex boyfriend or girlfriend… which is, of course, why I’ve sold tens
of thousands of copies in over 130 countries.
I’m not here to toot my own horn, though.
I’m here to tell you what to do if your ex grows cold, becomes distant, or seemingly
loses interest.
This is pretty common…
you use the strategies I talk about in my program and my videos, you start to see results
and your ex gets friendlier and more interested in you... everything is looking good… and
then you hit a brick wall.
Your ex stops texting back, stops telling you they miss you, cancels plans with you….
It can be pretty disheartening feeling, especially if you had made lots of progress and were
well on your way to getting back together before he or she went cold.
But you know what the real problem is with this type of situation?
It’s not your ex’s lack of interest or sudden change of tone.
That can usually be overcome easily, if you know how.
The real problem is how most people react to this situation.
The natural instinct, which is to panic and try to take action to stop their ex from slipping
away, is guaranteed to make things worse.
I see this almost every single day when working with coaching clients.
A client’s ex will respond less frequently to messages, stop sending positive or encouraging
signals, or grow cold and distant out of the blue.
The right way to respond to this type of situation is to do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING… which is, of
course, the opposite of what every fibre in your body is telling you to do.
You WANT to pick up the phone and call your ex to ask what they’re doing or why they
suddenly cancelled your plans to go for coffee….
Fear of losing your ex makes you want to tighten your grip on the situation and take action
to stop the downward spiral.
But you can’t do that.
You need to have enough self-control to avoid making that mistake.
The last thing you want to do if your ex suddenly seems to be backing away or losing interest
is to try and actively prevent it.
You can’t show your ex that their coldness or apathy bothers you, and you can’t show
any signs of neediness or desperation.
If you start texting your ex and asking stuff like, “hey why arent you responding??”
or “do you hate me or something”, they’re going to become irritated by the pestering
and they’ll clearly see your desperation…. which in turn will destroy the progress you’ve
made up to that point, and make it more difficult to change how your ex feels about you and
the possibility of getting back together.
So, if you recognize that you’re in this kind of situation, here’s what you need
to do: take a deep breath, and prevent yourself from doing anything to try and change things.
Don’t contact your ex at all for at least a few days.
Sometimes, depending on how far along you are in the process of winning him or her back,
you might need to avoid contact for weeks.
Pretty much ANYTHING you try to do to change how your ex feels or stop them from growing
cold and distant will have the opposite effect.
Don’t talk about the situation with your friends or family, either, if you can avoid
it.
That’s especially true for mutual friends, who might tell your ex if they hear you complaining
about their sudden change of heart and lack of interest.
Keep yourself occupied and stay busy, because otherwise you’ll torture yourself by overanalyzing
and worrying about everything your ex says and does.
It’s best to try and think about your ex as little as possible while you’re in this
situation…
talking about it with friends might feel good, but it actually just fixates your thoughts
on the issue and causes your fears and anxiety to get worse.
If you want to get a second opinion on your situation or your ex’s behaviour, you can
sign up for my 1-on-1 coaching program and talk to me about it… otherwise, try to ignore
your ex completely and focus your mind on other productive or fun stuff.
If you do want to work with me, visit BreakupBrad.com/coaching to view the details and sign up.
Often, ignoring your ex for a while -- a week or two, for instance -- can solve the problem.
It’s common for people to have mixed feelings and up-and-down mood swings after a breakup,
and your ex may just be in a ‘down’ phase at the moment, hence the cold and distant
behaviour.
At the very least, by ignoring your ex when you sense him or her backing away, you’re
ensuring that you don’t make matters worse.
If you still get the sense your ex is losing interest and backing away after you cut off
contact for a while, then your next step is to break the ice with something FUN and super
brief and casual… for instance, don’t re-open the lines of communication by asking
your ex if they want to talk about your breakup.
Well, don’t EVER do that, but you know what I mean…
don’t say anything that might come across as needy, boring, or require an extensive
response from your ex.
Instead, just make him or her laugh.
Share an inside joke or short anecdote that happened to you over the past week.
Send a funny meme you found on Reddit.
Bring up an old inside joke that he or she will have forgotten about.
Send a link to a viral video of your ex’s favourite celebrity doing something stupid
on camera.
Whatever it is, just keep it short, upbeat, and make it seem as though nothing is out
of the ordinary.
That’s the kind of thing that will make your ex WANT to talk to you, and you can build
on it from there….
Just remember not to show any desperation or fall back into any old needy or clingy
habits.
Make your ex want to talk to you and be around you, and they’ll stop backing away and start
to regain interest.
For more ideas on what to say to your ex, please visit my website, BreakupBrad.com,
and sign up for my Ex Factor program.
By following the techniques outlined in the program, you’ll ensure you don’t unknowingly
commit a mistake and send your ex running… and you’ll also learn some sneaky tactics
you can use right away to wipe the negative memories from your ex’s mind and replace
them with positive, nostalgic ones.
Again, if you want to get started right now, go to www.BreakupBrad.com to register.
Alright, well, that just about does it for this video…..
Please comment below if you have any questions for me, or even if you just want to tell me
how handsome I am…
I love to read your feedback and I do my absolute best to respond to every comment within a
few days.
Thanks for watching, thanks for subscribing to my channel, and thanks for being awesome…
Talk to you soon!