It's hump day.
Happy hump day to you.
[APPLAUSE]
Are you having a nice hump afternoon?
That's right.
Did you celebrate the holidays over the weekend?
I'm not talking about Easter or Passover.
I'm talking about April Fool's Day.
April Fools Day was Saturday.
April Fools-- it was Sunday.
See when I did there?
See?
I love April Fools.
I love the pranks.
I really do.
And in honor of that singing fool on the hill,
please give a warm welcome to Sir Paul McCartney.
[GASPING]
Oh, April Fools!
[APPLAUSE]
Gotcha.
I like to build it up and then disappoint you.
That's what I like to do.
But I do want to show you some of my favorite pranks
we've done on the show.
This first one is Dennis Quaid.
He started it all when I sent him to Starbucks to say,
Dennis Quaid is here.
And then we parked a car outside the studio
and called AAA for him.
And I was telling him what to say in his ear the whole time.
And he could only say what I told him to say.
Take a look.
Dennis Quaid needs a jump.
Dennis Quaid need a jump.
OK.
On the way over it was making this funny noise--
re-poo-gah, re-poo-gah, re-poo-gah.
You know, on the way over, it was making this funny noise,
like re-poo-gah.
Re-poo-gah.
And then like, a re-too, re-too.
And then a re-too, re-too re-too--
I don't get it.
Dennis Quaid likes to drive make vroom vroom noise.
[SIGHS] Dennis Quaid likes to drive--
Vroom, vroom.
I like to rev it up real hard.
Vroom.
I like to rev it up really hard.
[INAUDIBLE]
I love you, car.
I love you, Mercedes.
Kiss it.
Why me, God?
Start crying.
Why me, God?
Louder, scream it in the air.
Why!
Put your fists in the air.
Why God!?
Would you open my trunk for me?
Hey, I've got to get something out of the trunk.
I don't even know if it'll open.
Can you help me?
Just open it.
Oh, he didn't see anything.
Close that.
You didn't see anything.
[APPLAUSE]
Now one of my favorite pranks we've ever done
was with Bruno Mars.
We had a nurse come to his dressing room.
I told him to pretend to be sick.
And this is what he did.
I'm feeling something in my throat,
and I don't know what it is.
Guess I'm supposed to assess you.
I'm feeling something in my throat,
and I don't know what it is.
You know what hurts the most?
When I go beep, beep, beep, beep.
You know what hurts the most is when I go beep, beep, beep,
beep.
Like a truck backing up.
It's like beep, beep--
it's like a truck backing up.
Back up when you do that.
Stand up and back up.
It's like when I'm going beep, beep, beep, beep.
[LAUGHTER]
Did you see me on the Super Bowl by any chance?
Did you see me on the Super by any chance?
No, I don't watch the Super Bowl.
Oh, I nailed it.
I nailed it.
[LAUGHTER]
It was so good.
So, so good.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Oh yeah, yeah.
Anyway.
Start crying.
[INAUDIBLE] body workup.
Cry.
[WEEPING]
[APPLAUSE]
It hurts so bad.
Hurts so bad.
It hurts so bad.
[WEEPING]
OK, you can start feeling better now.
Oh, I feel better.
You say the pain's gone?
You don't have any pain?
No, I'm completely fine.
I'm completely fine.
It's weird.
What did you do to me?
What did you do?
Nothing.
You're so good.
So good.
You're good.
You--
You are good, good, good, good.
You are good.
Good, good, good, good, good.
Thank you.
You are good.
You're good.
Thank you very much.
Thanks for being here.
Thank you for being here.
Well, I'm glad you're feeling better.
Thank you for being here.
No problem, I'm glad you're feeling better.
[APPLAUSE]
I don't really need hidden cameras to do a prank.
I can just tell a little white lie sometimes,
and they just come to me.
There's no switch to my prank tank.
There really isn't.
Your favorite animal is.
The sloth.
Tell me why it is the sloth.
It certainly is.
Well, because they're just so, they're just--
because they're perfect.
The thing about sloths that kills me is they're--
it's just like-- they're not cuddly.
Yeah.
It's such a trick.
Because you want to snuggle them--
Except for the one that I got for you today.
Let's bring out the cutest sloth--
No you didn't.
No.
I just wanted to see.
Oh my god.
[APPLAUSE]
My heart is beating so fast.
I'm so sorry.
Oh my gosh.
All right.
We're going to take a break.
We're going to take break.
Oh, why would you do that?
I don't know.