MUSIC
This week’s Music Monday is the undead edition
With 4Mintue’s “Volume Up.”
MUSIC
Oh my God, we are SO, SO happy with this song.
“OHHH MYY GOOODDDD…”
“Oh my God, I can’t believe Simon and Martina
are gonna review this song even though
all they do is hate on T-ARA.”
Woah, okay, how did you get in here and who the
heck are you? “Uh, clearly I got here through
the internet, and my name is
Ms. Sha-la-luhl. Ms. Tro-lo-lo??
“You’d obviously get that wrong,
you misogynist. But Just keep going,
keep going… do what you’re gonna do.
Umm.. okay?... This is totally the peppy, catchy
4Minute song that we’ve been waiting to review again!
“Oh my God, all Simon and Martina did was hate on the song
so much, Oh my God. Social media justice OUT.
But we didn’t—we didn’t even say that, we just –
UGHH… I’ll get you troll!
Anyhow, we totally love 4Minute’s “Huh”, “Music”,
“I, My, Me, Mine”, and “Hot issue.” But then suddenly
4Minute’s music stopped sounding so fierce
and like, peppy and catchy. Then they attempted that
kind of like cutie image in “Heart to heart”which
we didn’t like at all. And then “Mirror, Mirror”
didn’t really impress us. So then, we just kind of lost
interest in their music. But FINALLY their back with
a song that is perfect for them. 4nias thank you so
much for voting for this for Music Mondays!
Umm… wait a second, is your name really 4nia?
So… if you are a 4nia, does that make you “fourny??”
Do I make you fourny baby? Yeaaaaahhh..
Wait, if I had a robot, and he was a 4nia,
Would that make him a “4-nicator??”
[DOES NOT COMPUTE, DOES NOT COMPUTE]
[MY HARDRIVE IS OVERHEATING. DOES NOT COMPUTE]
[MY FLOPPY DRIVE IS ABOUT--]
Oookkaayyy! Okay, Ah… that’s enough Simon,
Alright you’re cut off. Come on.
Okay, back to the song. At first, we were really worried
About that saxophone solo; which in our opinion, saxophone
solos should have kinda like, you know… stayed in the 80’s.
No offense Kenny G, had your album and everything but
You know, 80’s…
When I first heard it I kind of like … “Oh God, I hope this
doesn’t continue through the whole song.” But actually
It ended up fitting the song really nicely and also, I’m
really digging the “oh, OH, oh, OH OH…” It was great
in “Bubble Pop” and it was also great in 2AM’s new single.
I’m predicting a trend here. “La La La’s” are out.
Staccato “Oh, Oh, Ohs” are IN.
Otherwise I was totally impressed with Ga-Yoon’s vocals
over the building beats. Which were totally the highlight
of the song. It gave a really unique and mysterious feel.
And suited the vibe of the song quite nicely. But, I didn’t
enjoy Hyun-A’s rap parts. Her singing was fine but her
rapping, in contrast with the rest of the singing,
was really jarring to me. I understand it’s
there to build up to the chorus with the
building beat and all but we found that
her rap side just sounds so childish and taunting.
More like a “Na Na Na Na BOO BOO”
It’d be great if you’re 6yrs old and on
A playground, but in this song, it
doesn’t really fit all too well.
Besides Hyun-A and Ji- yoon, the other
members of the band, well, they get
about 10 seconds of vocal time. Now, something
we found a little bit weird was that, this is like a
5 person band, but out of the 5 members,
It’s really just 3 people that get the most
singing time. So-Hyun, who is the youngest
member of the band, got about 10 seconds.
She sings between 1:53 and 2:03 and
then that’s it. Okay, so maybe she’s the
youngest member of the band, but Ji-Hyun,
who’s supposed to be the leader of the band,
she also got 10 seconds. Between like 3:07 and 3:21
Really? That’s it? Doesn’t anyone else find that
kinda strange? We had the same complaint for
Teen Top when it seemed that Niel and ChunJi
Were like the only 2 members singing in that
band. But 4Minute is not a rookie group
So, I expected more like, evenly divided
parts for everyone to sing.
I can’t even imagine how angry I’d be
if my manager gave me the lyrics to the song
and I realize that I have only 2 lines.
Some people are complaining that 4Minute
should be renamed as “Hyun-A and her backup dancers.”
And this song isn’t really arguing against it
too much. This is a K-Pop group of 5 people
I think the lines should be a little bit more
evenly distributed.
Oh my gosh! Maybe that’s why everyone looks
so cranky! I mean, seriously, what’s up with
the stressed out looking, emo/vampire attitude?
Do I have to remind you guys that you’re vampires?
with hot Korean boy toys around serving you?
in a castle… with super awesome fashion.
and you can teleport!! Do you know what
I would be like if I was a young, hot,
fashionable, vampire that could transport
anywhere?
“Oh my God, being a vampire is SO great!
oohh I’m hungry, come here, sexy food bag
come here, come to me.”
oh, hey what’s up.. (BITE)….
Go away. You can’t just treat me like a piece
of meat! (get outta here!)
Ohhhh I have a great idea! (TELEPORT)
I just came from Disneyland and I passed all
the line ups. OHHHHH that was great!
(TELEPORT) .. I just got a new dog!
(TELEPORT) .. AMAZING, I just came
from Big Bang’s concert and I totally grabbed
TOP’s touchie and I twinged his nipples
and no one knew cause I disappeared.
HOHOHOHOOO.. I’ve gotta go hang out with my
other vampire friends and tell them how much
of an awesome day I’ve been having.
(TELEPORT) What’s up vampire friend!
Yeah! Wild turkey!! GOOO away, 4Minute
and I are going to sulk in the castle together
and practice our dance routine.
wha—why are you so grumpy??
why don’t you like.. travel outside of the castle
sometimes. There’s so many more things to do
than just like dance in a castle. You are still
so new to this, obviously, you don’t understand
the burden of being a young, hot, sexy, vampire
face. People all judging you for being so hot
and dance groping. We breed scary Doberman Pinschers
because we like the look of scary puppies.
They do nothing but roam the castle you know.
Why don’t you go hang out with your lame friend
Mordney anyways. “forget about me.”
Woah, who pooped in your mouth? Fine, whatever,
Mordney and I are gonna go to Paris together. “YEA”
and we’re gonna get some French food.
I heard that M83 is playing tonight. “WAHAHA!”
Just go.. away. UGH!
Apart from 4Minute being very grumpy Vampires,
we noticed something in this video which led to
a bit of a break through. Did anyone else notice
that 4Minute rarely ever close their mouths
in this video? And by “rarely ever,” I mean,
almost never. When their singing they could
close their lips just fine to form their words,
but when their posing and not singing, their
mouths are hanging open all the time.
At first we thought this was just a
ridiculous fluke. But then we watched the video
for a second and third time and we began to
be a little bit concerned. What if this is an
actual condition? Kinda like how SHINee suffered
from Pastelpantephilia and then passed the disease
on to Infinite. I think there might be a new
epidemic in the K-Pop world. I’ve consulted
my doctor friend about this, and this is what
she had to say.
Hello, I am a doctor. Through your help,
pastelpanthephilia is no longer a raging
epidemic in the K-Pop world. Through
awareness, we helped come… to a cure.
But now, there is a new issue on the table
that we all need to combat. I am talking about
Flaccid Jaw Syndrome. (FJS for short)
It is a terrible condition in which the muscles
of the lower mandible lose all ability to hold
the mouth closed. And we see this clearly with
this 4Minute video. If you will follow this graph,
You will notice at first, Flaccid Jaw Syndrome
was used to create a sexy, seductive effect, but
after seeing the mouth dangle open for more than
2 minutes, the sense of arousal becomes one of concern.
As the audience looks on and wonders why 4Minute,
similarly to Kirsten Stewart in Twilight, can’t
seem to arrange their facial expression in any other manner.
However, this terrible disease has not yet fully affected
K-Pop boy bands. But the approaching signs are there.
If you see a K-Pop boy band who is excessively rubbing,
or touching their lower lip, It could be a sign that they are
suffering from the onset conditions of numbness in the face
due to F.J.S.
F.J.S is a serious condition that needs to be dealt with.
If you see a K-Pop boy band excessively rubbing
their lips or touching their face, please, rush them to
a hospital immediately. You could prevent F.J.S
from ever occurring. I am a Doctor.
I’m not sure if that Doctor is a qualified doctor
or not but she does raise a good point.
MUSIC
Now, I really like the song, I totally love the setting.
I thought the setting of the video completely matched
the feeling of the song. But, I thought the dance was
really like uninspiring. Sure, there were some sexy
dancing to match with like the sexy, sensual saxophone,
But I found myself watching the backup dancers more
than 4Minute and that should never, never happen.
I really expected like a special dance for the chorus,
but it just really ended up being them with their
feet like firmly planted on the ground flailing and
bouncing around to the music.
No hand movements for us to interpret, or like
complicated dance move or anything like that.
Just like standing and shake.
“But that’s what I do when I’m at a club and
I’m not a professional dancer.”
And I wouldn’t really expect like body groping
to count as a dance move, nor would I expect like
Brittney Spears’ Toxic like boob rub pushing in
counting as a dance move either.
I guess I just feel disappointed because I
used to go to a dance Hagwon when I first came
to Korea, and I learned a couple of 4Minute’s dances
from their earlier stuff and I thought that they were so
cool. And it was fun and it was complicated to learn,
but this… this dance is just like, Meh.. I really feel like
I’m seeing a lot of like recycled dance moves here.
Ah well, great song, cool video, pretty lame dance.
MUSIC
As for the English of this song, we give the say…
4.5 out of 5. You liked the boob squeeze didn’t ya?
(whispering: Oh, you so nasty)
Now, there are only really 2 big English
phrases in the song. “Everybody, time to rock.”
to me, sounds perfectly fine and makes great sense.
The chorus, when I first heard it though, sounded
more like “Pump the VALIUM up.” which to me,
would result in a totally different party. But
would result in mouths still hanging open.
Anyways, upon closer inspection, turns out
that they’re saying “Pump up the volume up.”
Which is a bit awkward, you don’t need 2 “ups.”
You don’t say… “Fill up my glass up.” or
“Turn off the stereo off.” but then when I listened
to it more, I think there might be 2 different sentences.
Like, “Pump up the volume,” and then “Up” like, their
repeating “up. So, I’m okay with the chorus now.
But seeing how I docked TOP some minor points
for being irritating with his pronunciation of “trauma”
So, I’m gonna have to do the same thing with 4Minute’s
“Volume Up” which sounds like “WHOOL-YOUMM-UP.”
So, minus .5 for 4minute… derrsss.. go away….
MUSIC
Last week we asked you one of the most
EPIC SHOWDOWN QUESTIONS EVARRRRR!!
(With an “EVAR”) Whose debut did you prefer?
EXO’s debut or BAP’s debut? And After like
20 thousand votes on Facebook and probably
one of the closest battles ever, we’re giving the
victory BARELYYYY… toooooo.
EXO. They were only up by like 50 votes
and the leads kept wiffle, waffling constantly
but we were afraid that if we didn’t announce
a winner, you guys might be like, “Off with their heads!”
So, we give this win to EXO, just barely over BAP.
But I think there is an important moral to be learned
here. Good bros think alike.
For this week’s undead edition, we ask you which
undead concept video you preferred? 4Minute’s
Vampires in “Volume Up” or T-ARA’s Zombies in
Lovey Dovey Zombie Edition? Leave your votes in
the comments or in the Facebook poll and we’ll
announce the winners next week. Also, thanks to
all the 4nias who voted for 4Minute this week.
Let us know what video you want us to review
for next week’s Music Monday. Sistar? Shinhwa?
Make your vote count by heading on over to
eatyourkimchi.com/ kpopcharts. The only
place we count votes for Music Monday.
“But what if I wanna leave a comment about
you voting for a band?” By all means you can
do so. “Will it count?” Nope! “Oh.”
Lastly, don’t forget to like and favorite this
video and to subscribe for more Music Mondays.
Take it away Spudgy.
MUSIC