halloween on cbbc
stupid death stupid deaths they're funny cause they're true
stupid deaths stupid deaths hope next time it's not you next so who might you be draco a greek
lawmaker and ruler of athens ooh greek lawmaker not the draco the one who made pretty much
any criminal offense punishable by death even stealing an apple the very same oh brilliant
can i have an autograph please yes of course just here thank you oh any chance of a kissy
two kisses lovely right now tell me about your stupid death come on well you see i was a very
cruel ruler but also a popular one cruel but popular me too so a special show was
put on in the athenian arena in my honor and i stepped out to soak up the praise of the crowd
anyway the crowd to show their adoration began to
shower me with their hats and cloaks yes and then more hats and cloaks
and then more cloaks and more hats and more cloaks yes and more hats and totes and more
hats and cloaks until eventually i had so many hats and cloaks piled up on top of me i suffocated
that's hilarious that's so funny i'm gasping for air like you were yeah
oh good news draco you're through to the afterlife thank you thank you so much oh
dear i love my job sometimes i really do deaths stupid deaths they're funny cause they're true
stupid deaths stupid deaths hope next time it's not you
what i don't get it no don't laugh at his jokes you'll only encourage him next
and who might you be i'm a boxer yeah oh no kidding from ancient greece oh are you the
famous greek boxer Theagenes of Thasos don't say that name all right keep your beard on i promise i
won't say that name again the name Theagenes stop it sorry did i say Theagenes did i say Theagenes
i did say Theagenes sorry it turns out i did say Theagenes will you stop it yeah come on
then let's get on with your stupid death oh does it by any chance involve a certain you know who
and by that i mean Theagenes yeah it does right i hated Theagenes of Thasos i really hated him yeah
because he was like a champion boxer i fought him loads of times but he always
beat me and he was famous throughout greece but had anyone heard of me no and you are
exactly my point yeah and guess what happens next right he dies before i can beat him and then the
people at Thasos build a huge statue of him yes so every night yeah i creep down with a big stick
and i would beat the statue of Theagenes of Thasos yeah like ha ha i'm beating him yeah
I'm beating Theagenes it made me feel so much better have you any idea where he's going with
this i'm absolutely clueless so anyway one night yeah i crept down with my stick and i
beat the statue of Theagenes of Thasos so hard that it fell down on top of me and it killed me
i didn't see that coming but then neither did you
oh hey was the boxer's statue a heavyweight get it a heavyweight boxer statue
yeah i don't get it god honestly my humor is wasted on these idiots all right then whatever
your name is off you go to the afterlife nice one yeah i'll see you later yeah
knockout next stupid deaths stupid deaths they're funny cause they're true
stupid deaths stupid deaths hope next time it's not you
i'm thinking of getting my teeth done you have a spare set oh you are a love let's talk later
next oh look a boy band and who might you be we are the knights templar yes i agree it'll
never work you'll have to think of a new name uh baron knights perhaps no we are knight's templar
knights from the sacred order of the temple one of the most skilled and feared christian
fighting units in the whole of the crusades what feared because of your dreadful smell
yes i think that might be me yeah that's him all right all right don't be like what do you stink oh
i sense a story here go on yes we were doing a nighttime raid on a saracen camp it was all going
terribly well we managed to sneak in unnoticed and the element of surprise was very much on
our side but as we were making our way through the tents i tripped over a tent pole yes and
and fell headfirst into a hole which unfortunately turned out to be their toilet oh hence the
yes i uh i got stuck and drowned in the um
you fell headfirst into a toilet and then you drowned that is priceless and that's not all
oh goody goody there's more he made such a noise he woke all the saracens in the camp
and they swiftly surrounded and killed the rest of us i have so sorry about that you nincompoop
poop being the operative word all right well guys congratulations you're through to the afterlife
uh the showers are on the left just as you go in after poo
i love my job sometimes no you can't mentor them you don't have the bands this year next
stupid deaths stupid deaths they're funny cos they're true
stupid deaths stupid deaths hope next time its not you
one two three ha scissors beats paper
i win one two three huh scissors beats paper i win oh im bored now well you just keep doing paper
that's not how you play it oh grow up next and you are thomas curtis of suffolk and is
your death by any chance arrow-related yes it is i am a tudor archer how did you know that
this is lucky guess come on then let's be hearing you well one fine summer's evening
i was out practicing my archery when i spotted a friend the name of Richard lyrans now richard is
a fine archer so i thought it would be quite funny to give him a bit of a challenge right
yes so uh i yelled out to him richard i bet you can't hit my hat turns out i was right
i did fortunately he missed your brain not sure i get that proving my point you're through to the
afterlife oh priceless next oh hold the mustard we got another contender and you are henry pert
of nottinghamshire and is your death by any chance arrow-related yes it is i'm a tudor archer how did
you know just a lucky guess again come on then let's see your story well i pulled my bow back to
its full extent to loosen arrow straight into the air and i'd pulled it back so far the arrow got
lodged in the bow so i've lent over to have a look at what's going on there yes twang went in my head
the most embarrassing tudor archery death award goes to henry the plonker
you're through to the afterlife nice one mate oh i tell you this job just gets better and
better i get it now because i haven't got a brain out well there are some drawbacks
stupid deaths stupid deaths they're funny cos they're true stupid deaths stupid deaths hope next time it's not you
and then they all died vomiting
ooh tough crowd what are you two up to oh one for the gossip columns next and you are hannah twynnoy
Georgian barmaid ooh a barmaid you say which pub did you work in the white lion in Malmesbury
in wiltshire yeah i don't know that one my locals called the king's heads been chopped off
so what's your story well in the summer a travelling circus arrived whoa
hold the ketchup did you say travelling circus yeah oh i love it already do carry on the circus
set up in the large rare yard of the white lion oh did they have a white lion no but they had
all sorts of wild animals though including this huge tiger well i ain't never seen one of them
before well no you don't get so many tigers in Malmesbury no you don't oh do you know what i did
i prodded it with a sharp stick you do know that tigers are highly dangerous don't you yeah well
the circus staff did warn me against upsetting the tiger but it was such fun i was poking it and
prodding it i threw things at it i mocked it i jabbed it and it got fed up and killed me
there's a surprise oh hey that was a big catastrophe big catastrophe
yeah but i was the first person in britain to be killed by a tiger so how about this one stupid
deaths are great like what the tiger says in the advert what do you mean that joke's a bit
dated look who's talking i love your story you're through to the afterlife much obliged
what is it with mummys though no sense of humor stupid stupid death hope next time it's not you
you