Hey there, viewers!
Whether you’d like to admit it or not, you usually know when your relationship is becoming
toxic.
Have you ever felt like your partner is manipulating you?
Controlling your every move and emotion?
It almost feels like you’re being put under a spell.
In today’s video, we’ll talk about the 13 most obvious signs of emotional manipulation.
Does your partner always want you to prove your love?
Are they constantly needy?
Do they always claim they’re “joking” after doing something awful?
We’re talking all that AND more...
They're Always "Joking" Before we get into the specifics, what exactly
is manipulation?
Emotional manipulation is the attempt to make someone feel bad about their thoughts, feelings,
and behaviors in order to get them to act the way you want them to.
Manipulation can happen to anyone, so don't be too hard on yourself if it happens to you.
Identifying manipulation can be difficult at first.
Many people are oblivious to it.
To get what they want, the person may use a number of mental tricks.
Their actions may seem natural, but they’re inappropriate in a healthy relationship.
This aspect is a two-part manipulation.
The first part is when they say nasty things or insult you, but it's your fault for being
offended since they were "completely joking."
It doesn't matter how nasty they were.
You're “too sensitive”, and can't take a joke.
The second step involves making jokes about you in public and in front of others.
If you get offended and stick up for yourself, you're "creating a scene" or "ruining the
enjoyment".
This is a technique for a manipulative individual to dig in and grind you down without having
to face the consequences.
Have you cracked jokes about your partner in public?
Sound off in the comment section, and start a conversation with our Bestie community...
Suitable Neediness Does your partner claim to be unwell, frail,
or in need of assistance when things don't go their way?
This can be a type of manipulation.
For instance, if your spouse does not want to have a serious talk with you, they may
become dizzy.
After a while, they recover miraculously.
If this happens to you, don't be humiliated.
Instead, admit the manipulation and seek the advice of a counsellor on how to create boundaries
to prevent falling into the manipulation trap again.
It's certainly achievable!
Even though their actions appear acceptable at the time, they’re part of chronic patterns
that may be linked to other types of abuse.
You need to realize that you are not alone.`
They Pretend To Be The Victim To understand this clearly, let's imagine
the following scenario...
You and your partner just had an argument.
No matter who was wrong, what was said, or what truly happened, your spouse is upset
and can't believe you'd hurt them like that, even if they were the one who made the mistake.
It's a technique for them to escape responsibility for their own actions, while making you feel
like you're a horrible, unfit spouse.
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They Anticipate A Specific Reaction From You Is your partner constantly treating you like
a therapist?
Do they expect you to bear the load of their childhood trauma?
These expectations can take their toll on your mental health as well.
If you want to talk to someone, you should engage with a trained therapist who will listen
to you and respond in a loving, nurturing way.
It doesn’t matter if the relationship is long-term or not.
If your partner is constantly unloading on you, they’re looking to gain support from
a person who’s untrained to deal with this kind of thing.
They Keep Their Home-Court Advantage Manipulation is all about control, and one
strategy for gaining control is to pull someone out of their element.
Consider where you live, where you hang out, who you visit, and where you go on dates.
Are these all your partner's favorite places?
Is it possible that you live in your partner's world, but they do not live in yours?
Controlling someone is much easier when they’re in an unfamiliar environment.
They Make Melodramatic Claims Is this another red flag?
Definitely yes!
Manipulative people frequently make dramatic remarks such as "I believed you of all people
would understand", or "you're the only person I've ever loved."
Emotional manipulation is described as an attempt to embarrass you into changing your
views.
Before we move ahead, here’s another video you might like.
Watch and learn what happens to your body if you do push-ups every day.
Now back to our talk on signs of emotional manipulation.
They Violate Boundaries This is a BIG one, folks!
If you establish a barrier, be aware of anybody who attempts to cross it.
When you tell a partner what you are and are NOT okay with, it’s up to them to either
respond "Cool, I can live with this", or "That's something I can't do, see ya’ later”.
You may be able to reach an agreement on certain issues, but you should never feel threatened
or coerced to do so.
They Dropped The "Love Bomb" Too Soon So imagine you’re on a date, and you randomly
hear those three powerful words…
“I love you.”
Usually you’d feel flattered, but this time you’re confused.
You don’t know what to think.
That’s because you only started dating a couple weeks ago.
Consider it a red flag if your new relationship seems too good to be true, which is typically
the case with love bombing.
"Love bombing" comes on too hard and too quickly.
You just haven’t been dating long enough to feel the same way.
They continuously attempt to make you believe your connection is stronger than it is.
They Rely On Emotional Blackmail Emotional blackmail is disgusting.
A spouse will try to shame you for your decisions.
They may also dangle things over your head, such as a discussion you once had, or a secret
you revealed.
This is done to scare you into doing things their way, and is a big time warning that
your relationship is toxic!
They Cry On Purpose There is a lot of sobbing in a bad relationship.
When two people don’t like each other, the tears will come out at some point.
Crying may happen during a difficult talk, but keep an eye out if your spouse appears
to be forcing those tears.
Emotionally manipulative people have crocodile tears and a shaky voice, but it's all an act
to persuade you to do what they want.
Gaslighting For those of you who don’t know, gaslighting
occurs when someone attempts to warp reality so that you second-guess yourself.
Their purpose is to make you appear to have misinterpreted or misremembered something.
This allows them to get away with something that would otherwise be unacceptable.
It's also a strange, controlling approach to keep you in the relationship, since you'll
begin to believe that their abuse is "all in your head."
They Will Not Take ‘No’ For An Answer This is one of the more serious red flags.
Remember a minute ago when we talked about boundaries?
Well if you say you don’t want to do something, and they get angry, get out of there ASAP.
This will not be the first and only time.
A good partner will allow you to say no when you’re uncomfortable with something.
They will also expect you to give them the same type of freedom.
This is true for all aspects of the relationship, whether they’re physical or emotional.
If you don’t want to go out tonight, they won’t pester you until they get what they
want.
They’ll respect your decision, and wait for another time.
Manipulators don't want you to consider all the advantages and downsides.
They don't want you to consider your options.
They desire those split-second judgments because it's one way for them to measure how much
power they have over you.
They Want You To Demonstrate Your Love Keep an eye out for partners who are continuously
putting your love to the test.
This can be by beginning statements with "If you really loved me."
For example, “If you really loved me, you'd clean the dishes," or "If you really loved
me, you'd make out with me right now."
This strategy uses guilt and emotion to get you to do something you don't want to, or
shouldn't have to do.
Regardless of how caring it appears, it’s a sort of manipulation.
If you think you’re being controlled in a relationship, you most likely are.
Trust your instincts.
The more you detect manipulative tricks, the easier it will be to stop them.
But if you're dealing with a real manipulator, you should start searching for a means to
end the relationship.
Here’s what else might help you.
Check out which zodiac signs are the most manipulative.
Or how about 12 techniques to set boundaries with a toxic family member?
Go ahead, click one.
Or better yet, watch both, and learn more about making good relationship decisions.
Have you, or anyone you know ever been manipulated in a relationship?
Let us know in the comments below!