What's going on everyone?
It's Scott here from scottswalwell.com.
Have you ever had to deal with an argumentative person?
How the hell do you deal with those people?
Well, I'm going to share with you exactly that in this video.
So, let's go.
If you're finding yourself in a situation where there's argumentative
people and you're not quite sure what to do or how to handle them, I wanted to put this
video together.
In the video, you're going to come out with a clear and effective game plan that you're
going to be able to implement the next time this happens to you.
Full disclosure, I actually was that argumentative person when I was younger.
I always had to be right, always had to have the last word, always had to come across better,
and it was coming from a place of insecurity, either be smarter, be better, to be wiser.
It took me a long time to actually realize what I was doing and then I had to allow people
their space and see things from their perspective, but through that process, there is definitely
a clear game plan of how to handle these types of people.
Trust me, I know.
Before we dive into that, you've really got to ask yourself this question.
Is it worth my time?
Is it worth the argument?
I'll give you an example.
Let's just say you have an argumentative person who's expressing a strong political view.
We all know them, we hear it all the time, right?
You have a choice in that situation whether you want to engage or even express your point
of view at all.
You need to ask yourself, is this something that's going to keep me up at night?
Is this argument really going to be worth my time?
If I take on this argument at the expense of my health, my happiness, my well-being,
is it really worth it?
Listen, if it's not going to matter to you next week, then leave it.
If, however, it does mean something to you, it does matter to you enough
to engage, then here's the game plan.
The first step of this game plan is to listen.
As much as it pains you to close your mouth and open your ears, really take in what they
have to say.
Really, just listen to what their point of view is.
Why is this important?
Because an argumentative person, they want to be heard.
They want to see that you understand their point of view, and what you need to do is
you just need to listen.
What this does, is it enables you to control the conversation, enables you to control the
direction that it's going to go.
So that's the first step.
We've all dealt with these types of people, right?
I know we have.
Comment below with a hands up "me" if you've ever had to deal with someone like this.
The second part to this is to ask questions.
You want to listen, wait for them to finish, don't interject, then pause, give it a couple
seconds, and then ask a question.
This will demonstrate that you're actually listening.
Make sure you're being genuine and sincere.
So, it would be more like, "You mentioned this, but what do you mean by that?" or it
could be, "You know, you said something really interesting that caught my attention.
Why do you think that is?"
What's happening here is that you're showing interest, you're eliminating any defensiveness
and, in turn, you're making the person feel a lot better about themselves and more validated.
Only once you've set the tone for the conversation, you've made room to open discussion because
you've created that space, that environment, that trust.
Because you've set the tone for the conversation, bingo, you can have a valuable and rational
dialogue.
So, now you know how to handle an argumentative person, but what about when
someone is trying to intentionally provoke you and get a reaction out of you?
How do you stay calm in these situations?
Well, make sure you check out this video here which is actually going to tell you exactly
and specifically how to handle that situation.
On my channel I talk a lot about habits, mindset and success so make
sure you hit that subscribe button below and my notification bell so you get notified when
I release a video each and every week.
Now, I'll leave these videos here and here, so click on those and you'll be able to watch
them straight away.
That's it for this video and I'll catch you in the next one.