hey Lindsay how's it going hey there Aubry how's everything today excellent I have kind of a funny
question for you I'm actually really curious about your answer to this okay go for it when's the last
time you mowed a lawn oh my gosh Moto lawn oh I haven't mowed a lawn in forever I don't even
know when was the last time to be honest I know me neither we um we actually ended up putting in Turf
because in Arizona they've asked us not to have grass to not water there's too much drought we
just really can't afford the water to be watering grass so you either do Turf like fake grass or
landscape rock right so I I don't know if I'll ever have to mow along again right what is it that
they call that it's called like zero escaping or something we call it desert escaping there's other
places they might call it zeroscaping oh there's just no yard no lawn no grass no water required
to maintain yeah I've been reading a lot about some water issues going on in Arizona actually
um and some towns are getting cut off entirely from Water Supplies right it's
issue anywhere where it's a desert you know landscape anywhere in the desert is always going
to have water issues but some years are worse than others depending on the drought the water table it
can be tricky for sure yeah maybe we'll come back to that topic on aller's English because you know
we like to talk about cultural issues climate change stuff happening you know 10-year drought
in Colorado so interesting stuff but for today I just want to start by encouraging our listeners
to hit follow guys we talk about all kinds of interesting things but the core piece here at
dollars English is to help you focus on connection not Perfection so if you love that idea hit follow
on this show right Aubry yes absolutely four new episodes every week and they're all amazing great
ways to connect in English with friends co-workers it's a fantastic podcast I highly recommend it and
you're also over there on the Isles energy G podcast twice a week with Jessica Beck if our
listeners are taking aisles they should definitely go over there and check that one out as well don't
you think absolutely really any exam you might be studying for to take a test in English you're
going to learn vocabulary test taking strategies but specifically IELTS right we're teaching
everything the examiners looking for Jessica was an examiner for 14 years so she has all
that inside info make sure to follow IELTS energy if you're studying for the IELTS exam I love it
so let's get into sharing how long it's been since we've done something where do we start today this
is going to be a good connection this question I asked you right when's the last time you did
something I feel like I get asked questions like this a lot where you know we're interested in
people's past we want to know what you've done in the past and like you said it's a great connection
skill it's awesome for sort of small talk at work but it's not just about the weather you care about
someone's past you're interested in something that happened to them you need natural native
phrases for having this conversation yeah this is kind of a cool way of connecting just below
the surface right we're going beyond the weather conversation and uh you know daily life but we're
going into our actual lives which is quite cool yes and it's fun to share if someone's
telling you about something about their past it's really fun to share how long it's been since you
did that or you never did it right to to build that commonality between you is really a bond
absolutely so this is coming from a question from tomoko do we want to read part of the question do
you want to summarize the question Aubry how do we want yes Lindsay how about if you read this first
part of the question and then I'll summarize the rest okay so this is from our amazing listener to
Moko so she says I'm tomoko I've been listening to and having fun with your podcast for so long
that is awesome Aubry I love when we hear from our long time listeners it's fantastic my English
learning has been awesome since I happened to find your podcast and I'm really grateful that I have
access I have a question when I was listening to one of your episodes the other day I wondered if
I ever mention a specific year to talk about something that has happened happened since for
example Lindsay said something like I haven't had a car since 2004 is it something related to
cultural differences or personal preference I've heard something similar to this a lot if you could
do an episode about it that would be great oh such a great question and she sort of continued
to clarify that in Japanese she feels like she doesn't hear this often at all someone mentioning
a specific date or a specific number and so she's really curious like is you know how much of this
is personal preference how much of is it it is cultural interesting and I know I'm so excited
to get into this I had to think about it a little bit like why do I say one or the other what do I
hear I've been trying to pay attention as I listen to podcasts and TV this happens often I'll get a
question from a listener and then I'll start being really observant about that I'm like yeah what do
we say and why it's interesting yeah fascinating how much detail should we really give at certain
levels um going back into our history and dismiss years or times okay let's dive into it so it
definitely is part is both cultural and personal preference how detailed you get about your life
and your past and it's also very um dependent on the situation how much time do you have what
is the relationship and if it's necessary like there are a few reasons that you would give a
specific date right okay first of all definitely to emphasize if you're wanting to emphasize how
long ago something happened or that particular date because something else was important about
that date then you might say this hasn't happened since 2020 of course since 2004 right you may give
the date to emphasize or if you happen to know the exact date like you remember it you know
and that's and you think that's important for the context you might say that right yeah I think this
about where you were saying I haven't had a car since 2004. probably there was something important
about that date where it just sort of stuck in your mind that that's the last year you had a
car and I think also the more ridiculous something is the more likely we are to share it it's been a
long time since I've been like it's crazy that it's been that long yeah 18 years or something
like that so A long long time and therefore it just makes for a more interesting podcast episode
to share the date right right that's the thing when you're General it's often less interesting
yeah you're just like oh it's been a long time off hand then that's an interesting detail for sure
yeah details are interesting right details add color to who we are and it gives people something
to connect to tomoko was listening to that episode and that struck her as something interesting
and now we have another episode here we have a dialogue going with her and our listeners so and
it is interesting to think about that cultural piece because if it sounded a little bit off a
little bit different in Japanese maybe no one would say the date in that sentence it could
be you know Americans are we tend to over share sometimes maybe we share dates when it doesn't
really matter and it doesn't feel off to us no I don't think an American would have heard that
and been like weird why did she say in 2000 we do that right yeah yeah first sure for sure and then
again as you said if the exact date is relevant uh some reason that that happened there and you
remember it so exactly right for some reason the data is important then we will share the date
if we know it top of mind if we know it off hand right yes okay what else Aubry so here's some just
little examples there's the car one that tomoko shared we might say I graduated from University
in 2001. that's like the date is important it's relevant I'm going to share that exact date yeah
um and it's probably top of mind like we remember the date that we graduated from University yes or
oh this is a horrible scenario by the way but I haven't eaten chocolate since 1998. oh my
gosh you could have discovered an allergy that year right right something like that right where
you remember a specific reason that it happened in 1998. maybe that's when you realized you're
allergic to chocolate you had some kind of reaction then it would make sense to send to
share the year right I love it so good now I think this is an important conversation skill to point
out here that often we do not want to provide dates when it's unnecessary and when the date's
not top of mind right sometimes you're having just a casual conversation and someone might say like
oh I haven't had a car since oh man how long's it been I can't remember the exact date and you
start thinking like oh it doesn't matter I don't care what year like there are better ways to say
that when it doesn't really matter it's not top of Mind rather than letting the conversation kind of
drag while you think of this date that doesn't really matter I think the key Point here that
you're making is so important Aubry it's don't lose momentum in your connection right because
yeah if it doesn't come right to you right away I knew 2004 it was an important day it was my last
year in college then I sold my car and I moved to Japan right that's key for me but if I would have
had oh was it two thousand five six I don't no that's a total waste of time and you have lost the
attention of the other person right yes as we're talking when we're talking about conversation
skills that can sort of lose the momentum this is a big one it's that TMI that too much information
that's totally irrelevant we probably all know someone who just gives unnecessary details and
it's especially a problem if they're taking the time to try and think of did this happen Wednesday
or Thursday it doesn't matter move on don't lose that momentum yeah and this is kind of it kind of
ties into the curse of knowledge that I've read about you know when we know a lot about something
some you know some topic maybe some technology topic we have a tendency to want to give all the
context I think Engineers are guilty of this uh and I do this sometimes too when we talk
about our Marketing Systems and things like that I give too much detail right and we don't really
care we don't need that right away wait until we really need that wait until our team needs what
they need and then we give the detail right yes it's a skill to eliminate the detail that's not
necessarily what's necessary or share save it for later when it is final and it will matter right
so here are some great Alternatives if you're having that conversation and you find yourself
you're about to share a date but you can't think of it you can share something big that happened
around that time right I haven't had a car since just after high school I haven't had a car since I
moved from New York right right something else big around the same time and then keep that momentum
going move the conversation along and to be honest actually Aubry I like those answers better because
they give a lot more conversation material oh you moved to New York interesting how is life in New
York right good point you're sharing something else interesting that you can build on exactly as
opposed to a year which is just totally arbitrary I don't care 2004 five six so good stuff okay all
right so we're now going to get into some native vocabulary to emphasize how long ago something
happened okay so first we're getting into years is that right yeah so we'll say in years for example
I haven't had a car in years and this is really fun for emphasizing we're we're pretty accurate
here right we're not going to say this if it's been decades or not since you're a child this
I think we use it for like five to ten years something that hasn't happened for about that
amount of time right right right so I haven't had a car in years and we're really emphasizing as you
said we're using our intonation here right exactly it would be strange to say this in a monotone I
haven't had a car in years boring right I haven't been to the movies in years oh that would not I
would never say that I love going to the movies do you like going to the movies all the way to
the theater I do I just saw Avatar not long ago I love sitting in a movie theater in the dark what
did you think did you liked it a lot I wasn't a big Avatar person um but I actually did I I felt
it was a little long yeah it's over three hours yeah yeah a little long but I think James Cameron
movies tend to be long I mean he did Titanic right they are always long right the first avatar was
long but they are entertaining really good it was great I actually really enjoyed it so yeah but I
do know people who just don't go to the movies often so I feel like this is something I heard
a friend say recently like oh I haven't been to the movies in years and this is just so native
and natural right they you wouldn't necessarily say the the date you wouldn't be like I haven't
been to the movies since 2008 that's not going to be top of mind this would be much more natural in
years it's just just more Broad and it's more emphatic it's more interesting so go with that
so good okay so that's the first thing we can say that will add some color to what we're saying and
keep it broad keep it General number two what would be the second thing we could say so this
one is in ages and there's more exaggeration here there's some hyperbole right yeah it could mean
weeks or years but your you're exaggerating right so for example I haven't exercised in ages maybe
it's been seized but I usually exercise every day so I'm exaggerating here so for you it is ages
right if you normally exercises for me it's all pretty relative here guys when we use ages right
um exactly or you could say you know Common exchange how have you been I haven't seen you
in ages yes and maybe it has been 10 15 years it also could have been a few weeks of someone for
someone that you see very often sure right if there's a neighbor that I usually see multiple
times a day and I don't see her for a few weeks I might say I haven't seen you in ages yeah
yeah which is really funny exaggeration because ages would really mean like the Jurassic period
the Cretaceous Period we're talking about like ages of time so what an exaggeration right it's
all about your connection with that person how often do you actually see that person what kind of
schedule are you on with them that's how we know what ages actually mean so when to use that right
okay all right and then the third one in Forever same thing definitely exaggerating but really fun
really playful I say this probably the most of these three I think that's what you said when I
asked about the lawn right I have about a lawn in Forever that's why I love that's how I opened it
yeah that's how I answered your question and this one feels the most native the most natural uh the
most modern that you could possibly get guys this is what we say at least you and I Aubry we do all
the time right yeah and I hear it a lot too right yes this is so native and natural you might say oh
I haven't seen this movie in Forever in forever it probably means a few years but forever what
an exaggeration it's weird because grammatically it doesn't really make any sense [Music] clumsy
it's weird but it's an expression so go with it guys it's a connection expression right or we
haven't been there in forever right like going to Disney do you do you go to Disney for a vacation
destination with your family are you guys a Disney family or were you we're really not we live close
enough to Disneyland that we could right it's about a six hour drive right but it's so expensive
yeah I feel like the hotels and the park passes all everything the food when you get there so
for us it's more because it's cost prohibitive and then also we've for we've had little kids
and it is not fun to take very small children to Disneyland in my opinion I can't it's like once
you're six I'll take you because there's so many rides they can't go on they don't want to wait
in line yeah and that's the other reason that I'm not really a Disney person the lines are always so
long you're waiting for inlines for so long lots of reasons to not go to Disneyland actually yeah
people have strong feelings about Disney I'm not a big Disney person but a lot of people are for
sure so and but it's just a very you know we'll go maybe once or twice yeah during our kids lifetime
I think we're gonna do annually no no no no should we get into a role play for our listeners yeah
let's do it we'll use each of these in a role play in this one uh Lindsay you and I just ran
into each other at a coffee shop all right I'm always at coffee shops so that makes sense here
we go so how are you I haven't seen you in forever oh my gosh it's been ages I'm great how are you
as well as can be expected my sister's in the hospital so that's been tough oh sorry to hear
it I haven't seen her in ages I saw on Facebook that she's fighting cancer but I thought she was
in remission she had a relapse unfortunately it hadn't been a problem in years and then suddenly
showed up on scans again oh that's the worst common conversation I know it's true right I
I feel like I have conversations like this a lot with friends that I don't see as often because
maybe you sort of follow each other on social media a little bit so you know the highlights like
the big things in someone's life right but if you haven't had a chance to talk to them like you're
gonna chat about it when you run into each other yeah these things are going to come up this is
life right um so where did we use our vocab here let's see you said how are you I haven't seen you
in forever and again guys you need to emphasize that right Aubry how would you say that again
yeah right the intonation's important I haven't seen you in forever that last word whether it's in
ages in years that last word we really emphasize you really do and then again I did it I said it's
been ages you know I'm great how are you right perfect yes and then in ages again oh I haven't
seen her in ages love it yes right it hadn't been a problem in years and this it really is
a little more specific when we use in years right we wouldn't say it hadn't been a problem in ages
or in forever because it's been a few years so for this one in years we're not going to say it hasn't
been a problem since 2006 no we don't need that detail we would just say it hadn't been a problem
in years right this is something a little more specific more of a timeline that we're talking
about here right maybe it's been a few years yeah okay um so what's the takeaway for our listeners
I mean these are some really creative ways to talk about when the last time was that something
happened exactly right and you want these phrases because when someone is sharing about their past
it's such a great connection skill to share how long it's been since you did that or that happened
to you or something similar right to create that bond that connection something you have in common
yeah guys you know in your textbook when you were learning English you learned since right
but now we're showing you new ways new interesting things that you can say uh to brighten up that
conversation and share pieces of yourself and I think we you know we'll have to come back to the
cultural conversation Nation Aubry about how much I think it comes back to how much of ourselves we
reveal or of our past across cultures you know how would that love to hear about that you guys
this episode is on YouTube if you want to come and leave us a comment there I love to go and
read those comments let us know what this is like in your culture right would you share a specific
date do you do the same and exaggerate like we do in American English right what is this like in
your culture right or is it about certain topics that you are more vague and then others you're
more specific like maybe your academic background you're more specific maybe your family background
you're more vague because there's a value of privacy I'm curious about all this stuff Aubrey
we're gonna have to dig into this in another episode Another Time guys hit follow on ollers
English right now wherever you're listening or you can subscribe on the YouTube channel or hit
follow on Apple podcast Spotify so you don't miss an episode of the show awesome thanks Lindsay such
a fun discussion today good stuff Aubry I'll talk to you soon have a good one bye [Music] thanks