FOLKS, MY FIRST GUEST TONIGHT IS AN
ACADEMY AWARD WINNER YOU KNOW FROM "THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA,"
"LES MISERABLES," AND "OCEAN'S 8."
SHE NOW STARS AS A CON ARTIST IN "THE HUSTLE."
>> WHAT DO MEN WANT?
>> BOOBS.
>> NO.
FRONTAL?
THREESOME.
WHAT IS IT?
WHAT'S THE ANSWER?
>> THEY WANT TO BE HEROES.
THERE'S NOTHING MORE COMPELLING TO A MAN THAN A VULNERABLE
WOMAN.
OBSERVE.
♪ ♪ ♪ >> OH, WOW, YOU CAN JUST TEAR UP
LIKE THAT.
YOU CAN JUST BALANCE A TEAR RIGHT ON THAT LOWER LID.
AND CAN YOU MAKE THE TEAR ROLL DOWN YOUR CHEEK?
OH!
OKAY.
BUT CAN YOU MAKE IT GO BACK UP?
>> NOW YOU TRY.
>> OKAY.
♪ ♪ ♪ >> ARE YOU CONSTIPATED?
( LAUGHTER )
TO "THE LATE SHOW," ANNE HATHAWAY!
♪ ♪ ♪
>> THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
>> Stephen: HOLO.
>> HI, GUYS!
>> Stephen: LOVELY.
LOVELY TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.
>> OH, IT'S SUCH A THRILL.
>> Stephen: NOW WE WERE TALKING IN THE LAST ACT ABOUT
THE MET GALA.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: YOU'RE A FASHION KNOWLEDGEABLE PERSON.
>> I'VE BECOME ONE.
>> Stephen: WERE YOU AT THE MET GALA LAST NIGHT?
>> I WAS NOT AT THE MET GALA LAST NIGHT.
>> Stephen: BUT YOU HAVE BEEN IN THE PAST.
>> I HAVE.
>> Stephen: ME, TOO.
IT CAN BE FUN.
>> I HAVE A GREAT TIME.
IT'S ONE OF THOSE MOMENT WHERE'S NOBODY GETS THIS.
NOBODY GETS TO DO THIS AND GETS TO SEE THE METS AFTER HOURS.
>> Stephen: IT'S AS FANCY AS SOMETHING CAN BE.
>> IT'S THE BIEWJIEST THING EVER.
BUT, AGAIN, THAT'S PART OF THE FUN, TOO.
AND ANNA REALLY TURNS IT OUT AND DOES A GREAT JOB AND IT
RAISEAISE LOT OF MONEY FOR A GREAT CAUSE SO IT'S AMAZING.
>> Stephen: I UNDERSTAND GOING TO THE MET ONE NIGHT YOU HAD A
WARDROBE MALFUNCTION.
>> I DID.
>> Stephen: ON YOUR WAY-- >> I DID.
>> Stephen: WHAT PEOPLE MAY NOT UNDERSTAND IS IT'S NOT JUST
YOU AND THE DRESS.
IT'S YOU, THE DISPRERKS HANDLERS MAKING SURE THE DRESS LOOKS
PERFECT.
>> OH, THERE'S A DESIGNER -- >> Stephen: IT'S
MOST-PHOTOGRAPHED DRESS YOU'LL EVER WEAR EXCEPT THE OOSKARS.
>> IT'S UP THERE.
AND IT'S A HUGE MOMENT TO EXPRESS THEMSELVES AND THE
CREATIVITY.
I WAS GOING AS THE GUEST OF CALVIN KLEIN, AND I WAS ABOUT A
BLOCK AWAY FROM THE MET, AND I WAS LIKE THIS WAS IS-- AND I
SNEEZED, AND MY DRESS SPLIT, LIKE, JUST, STRAIGHT-UP SPLIT
OPEN.
>> Stephen: BECAUSE YOU'RE LITERALLY SEWN INTO IT.
>> WELL, I HAD TO BE AFTER THAT.
SO I FELT SO TERRIBLE.
SO I'M PULLING UP AND AND I PUT THE WINDOW DOWN AND HE'S LIKE
BABY, YOU LOOK AMAZING.
I SAID, "THANK YOU SO MUCH, MY DRESS JUST BROKE."
AND I'VE NEVER SEEN SOMEONE TURN GREEN BEFORE.
I SAID, "IT WILL BE MINE FEIN.
I'LL KEEP MY ARM DOWN AND WE'LL BE INSIDE AND THERE WILL BE A
NEEDLE AND THREAD.
AND HE GOES, "PULL OVER."
WE WENT TO A HOTEL.
WE FOUND A SEAMSTRESS AND SHE SEWED ME INTO IT AND THE BIG
THING WAS ARE WE GOING TO MAKE IT TIME FOR THE RED CARPET.
WE SHOW THE UP.
AND THERE WAS NOBODY THERE, AND I SAID DID WE MISS IT?
AND HE SAID, YOU SHOWED UP BEFORE RIOFTEN AGO!
THE ONLY RULE IS YOU CAN'T SHOW UP AFTER RIHANNA.
>> Stephen: I UNDERSTAND YOU HAD ANOTHER WARDROBE MALFUNCTION
MINUTES AGO.
>> ON THE WAY HERE.
IF YOU WANT TO, GOOGLE THE PICTURES OF ME OUTSIDE YOUR
STUDIO, AND I'M WEARING AN OUTFIT.
NOW, YOU MIGHT NOTICE I'M STANDING LIKE THIS.
AND THE REASON I'M STANDING LIKE THAT IS BECAUSE I LOOKED DOWN IN
THE CAR, AND MY PANTS HAD SPLIT.
LIKE...
( WHIST PRELLS.
>> LIKE THE WHOLE -- >> Stephen: WOW, ALL THE WAY
TO CHRISTMAS.
( LAUGHTER )
I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.
>> IT'S MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR.
>> Stephen: YOU KNOW WHAT?
YOU DO NOT WANT A LURCH LURCH OF YOU'RE WEARING THIS RIGHT NOW.
THIS IS LITERALLY WHAT YOU WORE ON THE COVER OF "SHAPE"
MAGAZINE.
YOU JUST HAD THIS WITH YOU?
>> WELL, I REALLY LIKED IT.
>> Stephen: SURE.
>> AND I ADDED A SHIRT.
>> Stephen: I WAS ABOUT TO SAY, YOU SEEM A LITTLE
OVERDRESSED RIGHT NOW.
>> YOU KNOW, I JUST WANTED TO BE APPROPRIATE.
>> Stephen: OF COURSE, IT'S CBS, IT'S CBS.
>> SO I HAD THIS IN MY CLOSET, AND I SAID CAN YOU GET TO THE
"STEPHEN COLBERT" IN ABOUT 10 MINUTES WITH THE SUIT.
AND SHE RAN IT DOWN, AND YOUR AMAZING TEAM STEAMED IT OUT FOR
ME.
>> Stephen: HOW NICE.
>> AND THANKFULLY THE ACCESSORIES WORKED, SO NEVER
PANIC.
( APPLAUSE )
I'M GLAD THEY STEAMED IT OUT FOR YOU THAT'S NICE.
>> OH, MY GOSH, I CAN TELL YOU, THOUGH, GETTING OUT OF MY CAR
TODAYUE KNOW, THERE'S LIKE A ROW OF PHOTOGRAPHERS, "ANNE, ANNE,
ANNE!" AND I'M LIKE YES... AND THEN YOU
KIND OF LIKE... HOW-- HOW DO I GET INSIDE?
POSE!
>> Stephen: SEE--
>> AND THEN YOU DO IT -- >> Stephen: YOU JUST LOOK
FASHIONABLE.
>> THERE ARE ALL THESE FANS OUTSIDE, "ANNE, SIGN A PICTURE."
AND I'M LIKE, "BABY, I WILL GET YOU LATER!"
>> Stephen: YOU HAVE THE NEW MOVIE.
IT'S CALLED "THE HUSTLE."
>> YES.
>> Stephen: I UNDERSTAND IT'S SLIGHTLY RAUNCHY OR PRETTY
RAUNCHY.
>> PG-13.
>> Stephen: BUT IT HAS A PG-13 RATING.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: HOW DID YOU MAKE SURE-- HOW DID YOU WALK THE LINE
BETWEEN THE "R" AND THE PG-13.
YOU HAVE SO MANY YOUNG FANS I'M SURE.
>> I'VE GOT TO SAY WHEN WE FIRST SCREENED IT FOR THE RATINGS
BOARD WE DID HAVE AN "R," AND WE FELT IT WAS REALLY UNFAIR
BECAUSE WE REALLY CALIBRATED THE JOKES WHEN WE WERE WORKING ON IT
TO MAKE SURE IT FELT PG-13.
REBEL WENT IN-- REBEL WAS A LAWYER BEFORE SHE WAS AN
ACTRESS-- AND . IN AND SUCCESSFULLY ARGUED OUR RATING
DOWN FROM AN "R" TO PG-13.
>> Stephen: WOW!
HOW?
>> HER REASONING WAS THAT SHE CITED ALL OF THESE COMEDIES THAT
WERE PG-13 THAT STARRED MEN, AND SHE SAID, "OUR JOKES ARE NO MORE
RAUNCHY OR NO MORE NUMEROUS THAN THEIRS.
AND YOU'RE TREATING US UNFAIR BECAUSE WE'RE WOMEN."
>> Stephen: I UNDERSTAND YOU'RE RESPONSIBLE RESPONSIBLE
FOR SOME IMPROVISED LINES IN THIS MOVIE THAT YOU GUYS PLAYED
AROUND A LITTLE BIP BIT.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: IS THERE ONE YOU'RE PARTICULARLY PROUD OF?
>> THERE IS, ACTUALLY.
THERE'S ONE LINE AT THE END OF THE TRAILER, WHERE REBEL-- WE'RE
DOING THIS CON, AND WE'RE NEXT TO A GUY, AND REBEL HAS A GUN.
AND SHE SAYS, "RELEASE THE PEASANTS."
AND HE SAID, "YOU MUST MEAN PHEASANTS.
AND I SAID, NO, SHE'S A TERRIBLE SHOT.
AND REBEL SHOOTS OUR BUTLER AND HE DIES AND I HAVE THIS KIND OF
SOCIOPATHIC LAUGH, AND I GO, "THAT WAS UNEXPECTED," AS MY
REACTION.
AND I GOT THAT SMOKE JOEK BECAUSE OF THE TIME MY MOM
ACCIDENTALLY DRUGGED MY DAD BEFORE SENDING HIM OFF-- WE USED
TO LIVE IN NEW JERSEY-- ON THE NEW JERSEY TRANSIT MIDTOWN
DIRECT INTO PENN STATION.
>> Stephen: HOW DID SHE-- HOW DID SHE DRUG HIM?
>> WITH AMBIEN.
>> Stephen: WHAT DID SHE THINK SHE WAS GIVING HIM?
>> IN HER DEFENSE SHE THOUGHT IT WAS LIPITOR.
>> Stephen: SHE THOUGHT SHE WAS SAVING HIS LIFE.
>> MY POOR DAD REALIZED IT WHEN HE ARRIVED.
HE FELL ASLEEP ON THE WOMAN NEXT TO HIM, WOKE UP, STOOD UP AND
SAID, "SOMETHING'S NOT RIGHT."
CALLED MY MOM.
AND SHEERKS OF COURSE, DENIED IT.
AND HE'S TRYING TO CONVINCE HER, "KATY, SOMETHING'S WRONG."
AND SHE NOTICED IT AND SAID, "OH, MY GOD, I DID IT."
HE SEES A FRIEND WHO HELPS HIM TO A CAB.
MY MOM CALLS ME AND SAYS, "YOUR FATHER-- I DRUGGED YOUR DAD.
HE'S GOT TO COME AND SLEEP IT OFF IN YOUR APARTMENT."
SO I'M RUNNING AROUND MY APARTMENT, YOU KNOW, I WANT TO
CHANGE THE SHEETS SO MY DAD HAS FRESH SHEETS SOTHREAP ON.
AND I'M LIKE HE SHOULD BE HERE RIGHT NOW.
I PUT THE SHEETS IN A LAUNDRY BASKET THROW IT DOWNSTAIR
WHERE'S MY DAD IS HANGING OFF THE RECEPTION DESK TALKING TO MY
DOOR MAN, "NO, REALLY, SHE'S MY DAUGHTER."
>> Stephen: "LET ME UP."
>> "LET ME UP.
I KNOW HER REALLY WELL."
AND MY DOOR MAN IS LIKE, "YOU WINEO.
ARE YOU NOT GETTING TO SEE ANNE HATHAWAY."
AND I SAID, NO, NO, I SWEAR IT'S MY DAD."
AND HE'S LIKE AAAH.
I SAID, "IT'S A LONG STORY.
I'LL TELL YOU LATER LATER."
I GET MY DAD UPSTAIRS AND GET HIM SOME WATER AND I SAID DO YOU
WANT TO USE BATHROOM BEFORE YOU TAKE A NAP ??? "YEAH, YEAH.
"AND THERE WAS A LAUNDRY BASKET IF THERE AND MY DAD SAYS, "I
HAVE IT."
LEANS FORWARD TO PICK UP THE LAUNDRY BASKET, FALLS FORWARD,
SMASHES THE MIRROR, AND HE TURNS AROUND AND SAYS, "WELL, THAT WAS
UNEXPECTED."
>> Stephen: THAT'S NICE.
>> AND I LOVED IT.
THANKS, DAD.
NOW IT'S IN THE MOVIE.
IT'S IN THE TRAILER!
>> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A LITTLE BIT OF A COMMERCIAL
BREAK, IF YOU CAN STICK AROUND, PLEASE DON'T LEAVE OUT THERE.
WE'LL BE BACK WITH MORE OF THE LOVELY AND TALENTED ANNE
HATHAWAY, EVERYBODY.