-Phoebe Robinson, welcome to the show.
-Oh, my gosh. Hi. -Oh, my gosh.
I am a -- I am a fan of yours. You make me laugh.
-Thank you. -So welcome to the show.
And thank you. I want to talk about everything.
We have a lot to talk about. But first --
-I worked hard on my arms.
I, like, was lifting weights so I'd look good for you.
-Oh, my God. Amazing.
-Look at this tiny -- tiny bit of definition right here.
A little tiny slope. There we go.
-That's perfect definition.
That's what you want. That's all you need.
I have to say, before we get into it,
'cause I listen to your podcast, You and Jessica Williams.
And you throw in
a lot of abbreviations, as well as in the book.
If you say, "Google," you go, "Yeah, Googs."
"Check it out on Googs." Or eems?
-For e-mail. Yeah, yeah. -For e-mail.
Is that -- I'm -- 'cause I --
A lot of people do it a little bit.
But I listen to you, so all the time you always make me laugh.
I'm like -- I try to guess the abbreviation.
Do you have any new abbreviations
or anything that you're saying now?
-Yeah, I have a few faves.
Currently I'm saying "cunch" for country.
So I'll be like, "Things are crazy in the cunch, right?"
-Someone's got to -- Wow. Yeah. Be real careful there.
-You got to be careful with that one, 'cause it can go...
-Yeah. Just making a note to myself.
-Don't try that one at Christmas.
I'd wait for more...
-Yeah, of course. -That's C-U-N-C-H.
So it's cute.
And then I say "supes monogs" for super monogamous.
-Oh, supes monogs. -Yeah.
-Yes, supes monogs. -Supes monogs.
-It sounds like you're just eating alone at a diner.
Like, "Soups monogs." -Yeah.
But super monogamous, yeah. -Yeah. Yeah.
And then my final one
is a nickname I have for my new best friend.
I don't know if you heard about it.
-Yes. I did hear.
-"Meesh" for Michelle Obama.
-Oh, that's your new best friend.
-That's my new best friend.
-I know. I want to hear more about this.
Oh, I thought you meant your other best friend,
your boyfriend.
-Oh. He got replaced by -- by Michelle Obama.
But my boyfriend -- -He got replaced by Michelle.
-No, my boyfriend's name is British Bae Koff.
That's not his birth name, but that is --
I talked to him through FaceTime before the show.
And you nicknamed him British...
-Bae Koff.
-B-A-E... -K-O-F-F.
Bae Koff. -Like bae.
-And then "Bake Off" like the TV show.
'Cause he loves to bake.
Is he -- He's British. He's, like, OG white.
-[ British accent ] Oh, so he's British, and he loves to bake.
-Yes. He is patient zero.
He's, like, the original white guy.
[ Laughter ]
-[ Normal voice ] Did you bring him home for Thanksgiving?
-I did. I did. -And how was it?
-It was really good.
So, my parents are pretty tradish. That's "traditional."
And they -- Thank you.
And they're very much like, "You can never be in
the same room with your partner until you're married.
We don't play that."
Blah, blah, blah, blah. -That's right.
-And then when we got to Cleveland,
they had us in the same room,
and they had robes for us and chocolate.
And I was like, "Is this the Four Seasons?
Was it taken over by black people?"
It was so good. It was so cute.
-But everyone got along?
-Everyone got along. My parents are vegan.
So everything was just like --
Like, we have vegetarian ribs, which sounds like trash.
But it was really, really good.
It was, like, tofu that was charred on a grill.
-Really? -That didn't sound great.
But truly -- But eat it. It's really, really good.
It was so fun. It was the best time.
-And were -- Did you have just great stories to talk about?
Because I should talk about your -- about Meesh.
-Yes.
-Your new best friend, Michelle Obama.
-So -- -I didn't know you were BFFs.
I knew that you -- You did the last "2 Dope Queens" podcast.
-Yeah, okay, so, we're BFFs in my mind.
She has no idea.
-Ah, okay. That makes a lot more sense.
-That's what it -- -Sorry, sorry.
-Yes, yes, yes, yes, but, yeah, she asked
Jessica and I to interview her for "2 Dope Queens."
And we're like, "Is this for real?"
And she was like, "Yes." And so we were very nervous.
This is, like, one of the best first ladies of all time.
And so I did a lot of preparing. I read her book.
I, like, shaved above the knee just in case.
You know what I mean?
I wanted to pull out all the stops for her.
-Oh, my gosh. Of course, that's great.
-And she was so sweet. -She's the best, right?
-Yeah. -Yeah, she's fun.
She's been on our show a bunch of times.
But she's now asked you
to go on and moderate a couple of book events?
-Yes, so she's in the middle of her book tour,
and she asked me if I was available.
And I was like, "I'm available for any date."
I was so thirsty and desperate.
-"I'm available for any day."
-For any day. Wherever. I will fly there.
And I was like, "I will even --
I would even come to Chicago for your opening night."
And then her team wrote back, and they're like,
"Oh, no, I think we have a moderator."
I'm like, "Who does she have in Chicago?"
And I saw the next day it was Oprah.
So I was like, "Oh. Okay."
-"I guess it's okay.
Yeah, all right. I'll do the next one."
-"They don't need me."
-I mean, how fun. That's going to be great.
-Yeah, I'm excited.
-Congratulations on all that stuff.
-Thank you. -Congrats on the book, too.
I got to say -- "Everything's Trash, But It's Okay."
-Mm-hmm. -What does that mean?
And where did that come from?
-So, I feel like the world -- the cunch is --
See? Everyone got it this time.
-Kind of. -Yeah.
Everything's a little crazy right now.
And so I feel like we all have little trash things about us,
whether you watch reality TV or whatever.
And I'm like, just embrace the trash,
acknowledge it, and realize everything is going to be okay.
I'm full garbage in so many ways.
-No. But what does that -- What do you mean?
Come on. -Okay.
I will give you an example. Okay, so, this weekend,
British Bae Koff and I were in bed, watching TV.
Okay, it's not gonna go that route. Sorry.
But we're in bed watching TV. And I look over at his back.
'Cause he was checking his phone.
And I was like, "Babe, I think --
You have a mole on your back. It looks pretty big.
You should get that checked out."
And he was like, "I don't have any moles on my back."
And I was like, "I'm looking at one right now."
He's like, "I don't have a mole."
So I lean closer, and it was a piece of chocolate --
Because I ate a chocolate biscuit in bed.
[ Laughter ]
And I got chocolate all over the place.
-[ Laughs ] That's not bad.
I don't think that -- I have a couple of those moments, too.
My thanks to Phoebe Robinson, everybody.
"Everything's Trash, But It's Okay."
"You should get that checked, that mole."
It's available right now, everybody.