Today we ask the age-old question.
- Will it chip? - Let's talk about that.
( music playing )
Good mythical morning!
And a good morning it is,
because today Link and I are gonna be battling it out
mano a mano in the ultimate coffee trivia showdown
all while downing unknown quantities
of espresso along the way.
Plus we'll be stepping into the magically,
intoxicating world of Poppy.
But first let's start with tasting foods
that no one has ever attempted.
- Okay. - Shall we?
You might have one on your shoulder.
You might be one off the old block.
Hey, you might be ready to cash all yours in!
- I'm talkin' 'bout chips, y'all. - Chips, yes.
Anyone with any sense at all loves to snack
on that crispy, salty delicious chippiness.
But how far can we push the limits
of what truly makes a chip a chip?
It's time for...
Now normally chips are just potatoes, corn, or some kind of vegetable
and sometimes they're baked and usually they are fried.
Right, so to make our chips we have ground the ingredients up,
spread them very thin, binded them with egg whites
and then got all the moisture out through a dehydration process.
So it's not exactly fried.
Some of them are fried
but mostly we're trying to get them to be very, very chippy.
Right, and we're gonna be the judge
based on a number of criteria which we will determine.
But let's get to chip and right off the bat,
I really wanted to start with seeing if we could chip some cereal.
And since nothing could be more magically delicious
than combining two of my favorite genres,
that is chips and cereal,
we chose Lucky Charms to be chipped.
- And we made bags. - Yeah, we did,
because chips come in bags, brother.
Feels like a space chip bag.
It is-- ain't nothing wrong with that.
And we've got some--
some chip dip here
that is sweetened, condensed milk.
- Look at that thing. - Oh yeah.
Dehydrated for 12 hours.
Dip.
Uh-oh, I went heavy.
- I'm going, I'm going-- - I went too heavy.
I always go a little heavy.
I'm going lighter.
Every chip doesn't need to be dipped,
but it is a good thing to know
that a chip can be dipped to know if it will.
- Dink it. - Dink it.
- I'm just gonna-- - I got--
I mean, I got so much condensed milk on here.
- I gotta eat the whole chip. Okay. - I'm going halfsies.
Ooh.
It's crunchy.
I don't know what's the chip and what's my teeth at this point.
Hmm, I mean it has
a very aggressive crunch.
- It's almost granola like. - It's like Grape Nuts,
if they were just one big sheet.
- But it is magically delicious! - It is.
- It's-- - Very tasty.
It tastes excellent but--
You might lose a tooth in the process.
Maybe it could be some kind of therapy chip.
For people who are
working their teeth out.
Like to move on to eating like airplanes.
You know that guy that eats the airplanes?
This is probably what got him started.
I know you're talking,
but I cannot hear a word you're saying,
because all I can hear is the crunchiness in my mouth.
I'm kind of on the fence, but it tastes so good.
It tastes so good but the crunch is so aggressive
you could lose teeth over this thing. Is it worth it?
But would you want it to be soggy?
Think about the alternative.
Oh, that's true. So will it chip?
Both:
Now it is just an objective fact
that Chick-fil-A has somehow managed
to create one of the best fast-food tastes in the world
with the classic Chick-fil-A chicken sandwiches.
So there's only one thing left to do.
Turn it into a chip.
We have the bag here.
Mythical chip-fil-a chips.
Now break those out.
I'll explain what we've done here.
This is basically just the prime ingredients
of the Chick-fil-A sandwich.
The bread, the chicken, and the pickles ground up
and then mixed with egg whites
and we went through the chip making process.
And we call this the chip-fil-a. ( laughing )
Um... I already said that earlier.
It was awesome when I said it.
- You said that earlier? - I just read it off the bag.
You're like, "You're never gonna believe
what we're calling this one." It's not written on the bag.
It sounds different when I say it, though.
- Doesn't it? - Yeah, it does.
I got one for ya.
Oh and then it's got a little chicken piece
stuck to the top just to remind you exactly what you're eating.
Now we're gonna be dipping this in the dip-fil-a,
which is every single sauce from Chick-fil-A mixed together.
It just looks like parchment
slash dehydrated chicken skin.
But I know it's not.
You gave me a weak, weak chip.
Here, chose another one.
You gave me a weak chip.
I'll take both of 'em. I'm gonna dip first--
I'm not gonna dip.
- That's a chip right there. - I'm just gonna eat
the chip first and then I might dip it on the second.
'Cause I wanna assess the chippiness.
Part of it is easy to eat and part of it's hard to eat.
It's got a crackery consistency.
- Yeah. - And I immediately think there's cheese in it.
It does, it tastes like those--
- It tastes like Cheez-Its - Those, um--
The cheese twists.
You know those.
They're at every party.
All the parties I go to at least.
It's so weird.
I would-- I would've sworn,
if I didn't know what was in this that it was Cheez-It.
Did you put cheese in it?
- There's no cheese in it. - There's no cheese in it.
There is no cheese anywhere in this.
Just confirming. Now dip it.
So I'm saying because there's cheese in it,
- it tastes good, - Oh, that's soft.
But I'm also disappointed
that it doesn't taste anything like chicken.
It's not better than the sandwich, though.
- Well-- - But that's not the question.
- Right? - No, that's not the question.
I think it's too crackery for me to say it chips.
This is not "Will it cracker?"
Of course, we'll do that at some point.
And we'll bring this one back.
-
Bloody Mary isn't just something you say
three times into a mirror when you're feeling lonely.
It's also a delicious brunch beverage
consisting of tomato juice, vodka,
and just about an entire spice rack.
So my prediction is with the Bloody Mary chip,
that it's gonna turn the meal between breakfast and lunch
into an all day affair!
- Chippy mary. - Look how thin it is.
We have reduced store-bought Bloody Mary mix down in a pan,
blended it with egg whites, spread it thin,
dehydrated it for 12 hours and seasoned it with celery salt.
There's no vodka in this chip.
- This is a virgin chip. - Ooh, wow!
They're very delicate.
Whoa!
Now we're talkin' chip thin.
That is chip thin, definitely.
I want one, I want a big one.
It's got the thinness of a chip,
but it looks like the skin of a reptile.
We might be on to something with these here.
I'm not, again, I'm not dipping anything in anything.
I just wanna try the chippiness first,
- but feel free. - Okay, I'll do--
- I'll do-- - Dink it.
A virgin dip first.
It turns into tomato soup.
Both: In your mouth.
Oh with a little spice, a little spice.
It comes approximately seven point two five seconds
after the first bite.
Tell me it doesn't happen seven point two five seconds--
I'm going in.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven point two five.
- There it is. - Yep.
Seven point two five seconds.
Yeah, I counted it the first time.
Guys, I'm dipping now.
It unleashes a tang in your mouth.
Unleash the tang in your mouth.
We gotta put that on the packaging.
That was Tang's slogan.
It wasn't that funny.
It just doesn't sound appropriate,
but it's so tangy and so good.
It's good with the vodka as well.
It just reminds you that you're drinking a--
eating a Bloody Mary.
I don't like that.
- At all. - Really?
- No. - That's what completes the whole--
- the whole package. - But this right here--
This would work.
This could be sold
at a eastside hipster restaurant.
- Place. Or anywhere. - Right now.
Just on the shelves of your local grocery store, people.
This is a revolution!
- Rhett:
Now traditionally fish food is a food that is for fish.
But why do we have to let fish have all the fun with fish food?
We're humans! We can do whatever we want without consequence!
So let's take their food and turn it into chips.
Fish and chips, isn't that cute?
Yeah, it is.
So this is what you're probably expecting.
Fish food that has been dehydrated,
well, it was rehydrated and then dehydrated
'cause fish food's already dehydrated,
- Double dehydrated fish food? - but then you gotta--
you gotta mix it up with something,
the egg whites to get it-- to actually
become a chip sensation again.
- So I don't know. - ( groans )
It's kinda like refried beans.
Is how I'm seeing this.
Smell in the bag.
Smells as you would expect.
That is strong!
You put a little dollop of that in an aquarium,
and fish from miles around know what's up.
How do we know that fish like the food
that we have decided to give them?
- Have you ever thought about this? - They smile when they eat it.
They don't have any emotion, they can't speak.
They don't make any calls or anything like that.
They could hate it for all we care.
All we know. You know that?
Now it's-- Look at that.
It's dark on one side.
Bam, fishiness on the other side.
Okay, we have a fancy dip.
This is Dillon horseradish crème fraîche
with a dollop of Black Capelin Caviar.
- Ew. - Probably said that wrong.
But it's imported from Iceland.
We had to import something from Iceland for this?
Think about how crazy this is what we're doing.
2018 is here, man,
because we're taking fish food
that fish are supposed to eat
and then we're dipping it into the eggs of their babies.
- It's not moral. - And then eating it.
I'm telling you we can do anything we want!
Dominate the Earth!
- Submit, Earth! - We take your food
and we mix it with your children.
And then we eat it!
We are humans!
Stay down, fish!
Stay down in the depths!
That's when we know the robot overlords have really gotten our goats
when they're taking our food like take--
"We took a burger, we mixed it with your baby.
And now we eat it."
Yeah, I feel--
Enjoy it while we're in power.
Enjoy it now, 'cause it's not gonna last forever.
I don't feel like I should do this now.
I mean, like--
I wanna take the moral high ground and just say,
"You know what? No, I'm protesting."
But I want you to know if it will.
When you're in the driver's seat hit the gas.
That's what I always say.
Again, I'm not dipping it first,
but I'm gonna dink it.
I am just for the principle of things.
It is not good to be king.
( gagging )
Oh, that's bad.
What even is it?
Is it other fish? What do they eat?
Does the dip help?
Is it little shrimps? I don't understand.
No.
Man.
Fish are so stupid.
I'm telling you, my theory is that they don't like it.
They don't enjoy it and they have no way to tell us.
What are they gonna do? Go write, "We don't like this"
with their fins on the bottom of the sea floor?
Maybe they have done that.
I'm sorry fish.
- Link:
Now typically, I am not a fan of yak penis.
If I see it on a menu, I certainly won't order it.
If it's being served at a party, I will politely decline it.
Quite honestly, there is no conceivable situation
- in which I can see myself enjoying yak penis. - Yeah, you're not the only one.
Which is exactly the opposite feeling I have about chips.
So, I don't know, maybe this will open up a whole new world
- of yak penis to me. - We call these yak penis chips,
just the chip.
Open that up.
We have had some yak penis pan-seared,
then chopped it up and threw it in a high dollar mixer known as a Vitamix,
- which it proceeded to break. - Yeah.
This yak penis is the most durable substance on the planet.
It broke a freaking Vitamix.
- It burned it up. - I wish I could tell the yak.
You know, I wish I could say, "Man, let me tell ya what your penis did."
I mean I wanna go to his grave...
- You gummed up-- - and address him and be like--
- Well, he might not be dead. - Oh, really?
He might just be very sad.
I don't think that's a treatment for anything.
- They usually just take the other part off. - Okay.
They're making use of every part.
Hey, man, you gummed up the works.
- Congratulations. - Way to go.
Hear about Earl? Hear what he did?
It looks very chippy.
- Like, I mean-- - Yeah, I mean you could just
slip one of these into a party bowl
and just wait.
- Just sit back and wait. - Just sit back and wait.
Now we also have a couple of dips.
We have yakamole,
which is guacamole mixed with penis.
And we have penis de gallo.
- You wanna dip? I just feel like we should-- - I don't.
I wanna-- I will for a second go.
Oh.
Hmm.
Somebody call Earl.
Not only did you ruin a Vitamix--
You made a nice tasting chip.
Yeah.
I mean, my expectations were so in the negative.
- Yeah. - And then he just brought 'em back to zero.
The texture is difficult.
I mean, this is some tough penis, man.
- I think we gotta dip. - We gotta dip.
- Now I'll go in the-- - I'm doing the penis de gallo.
I'll go in the guacapenis?
- What's it called? - Yeah, guacapenis.
Exactly. I think it's yakamole but whatever.
Throw a penis in there and see what happens.
It's so crunchy.
Can you believe you can make yak babies with that?
Oh, you need more than just that.
Guacamole helps.
I'm getting a little of the...
you know, straight penis--
- That's probably the wrong way to put it. - Don't, don't--
Don't put those words together.
Don't put that on the T-shirt.
Unadulterated penis.
Oh, don't say that either.
I mean it's palatable.
It's not as bad as the fish chip but--
I mean, I can't say I'm enjoying myself
- but I don't wanna die. - Right.
I wanna keep living.
I mean based on the expectations coming into this,
- will it chip? - No.
Would you rather just have a straight penis?
- I mean-- - Don't do that again!
I'm sorry!
I'm sorry. I swear I don't--
But since you asked, no.
Okay.
All right.
I'll join the bandwagon. Will it penis?
- I mean-- - What?
What is wrong with you?
That's another episode, man.
Yeah, write that--
- Write it down. - write that down.
- Link:
Oh, gosh.
If you like these chips we're busting out more
in Good Mythical More, the breakfast chip.
So stick around for that.
And also we're stepping into Poppy's world.
Right up next.
Link:
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