I feel like a lot of people are gonna be mad about this video and I'm scared
Hey guys, it's Mikan and today's video is a little bit of a serious one
I have a lot to say before I start talking about the actual video
Um, first of all, the reason why I'm making this video is because a lot of people are very curious
It seems I get a little lot of comments about it all of the time and so I decided to make a video
That's really easy for people to find if they're curious about it because it seems like a lot of people are curious about it
Oh! Do not watch this video if you have struggled with weight and things like that. It's not good for you
Please take care of yourself. You don't need to watch this
But yeah, this is mostly just to make one video to address the issue
I did previously have a video up where I lightly touched on it
but I decided to delete that video because I feel like it really lightly touched on a lot of
subjects
but didn't actually go into any of them and I would rather just like make a video to
Explain it completely and just go through it thoroughly so that people won't be confused. So that's what I'm doing today
so just to clarify, this is not like "It's so hard being skinny!" I just want to talk about my own experiences and my
Health weight thing going on. So this is actually a very personal video
I'm gonna be going through it in a lot of detail. Please don't think this is about like a skinny vs. chubby thing
it's not it's um
Completely just about MY experience with being skinny. It's completely separate from like any social commentary
It's literally just my story and from my perspective and I'm sure that a lot of people have different perspectives
but this is just my personal perspective and how it's been for me as
a thin person
I'm absolutely not
comparing about what it's like to be a chubby person because I've never been chubby so I don't know what it's like to be a
chubby person
I'm sure that there are many many difficulties
But please understand that this is like, I'm really not trying to start a fight
I feel like a lot of people are gonna be mad about this video and I'm scared. Basically is what I'm trying to say
So basically this has been a thing that's been happening
like literally since I was born
I've been told that when I was born I wouldn't eat a lot and so my mum would take me to the doctors and be
Like why is she not eating?
The doctors would be like just leave her. She's gonna wanna eat at some point like give her her time
Don't force it and then my mum was like, okay
and she went home and she told the other aunts that. Now if you are a middle-eastern person
I'm sure that you'll be able to relate that the aunts and uncles and other family members
Have a big say in your life and they are basically like no you cannot starve your baby
You must force her to eat at all times. My mom was a very young woman
So she was really influenced by that. And so that began my complicated situation with food throughout my childhood
It's always been like your are thin and you have to eat so food has always been like a chore. It's never been like
Oh, it's a treat. I love food. I want to eat food. It's always been like oh my god. I have to eat
Oh
You know?
It's always been kind of like I have to do the dishes and I have to Hoover and I have to eat like it was
literally like a chore
I really really as a child hated eating just because there was such a focus on me eating it became this whole obsession
People would be watching me eat and I remember as a child there were many times where I threw up from overeating things like tomatoes
And eggs and to this day. I can't enjoy eggs
I'm kind of trying to get back into eggs
but they were always seen as like a really protein rich food like you have to eat this protein rich food and I was like
I really hate this food and then like I throw up and actually it's really disgusting but bear in mind
I was seven years old
There was actually times where my dad would give me an egg to eat and it'll be taking me so long
but he would like leave and then I would go into my bedroom and throw it under the bed and
I shared a bedroom with two siblings. I was obviously not fun for anyone and then around this time
I was also getting weighed every week and it was ah
It was the worst
Because my dad would weigh me and he would weigh my brother and he'd be like your brother's younger than you
Why is he putting on weight more than you and your cousin weighs this much and this person weighs this much
Why are you not putting on weight when you make food into something that's like so forced and so focused
Especially as a child, you don't want to do it. You don't want to eat. So I as a child. I really hated food
I didn't want to eat at all
and that kind of changed only when I became older and I moved from Sweden with my dad to
England with my mum by the time I moved to my mum it had been like four years since I've actually like lived with my
mum
and
So I feel like maybe that was a problem that she just forgotten about because I became more in control of what I could eat
I began eating like a normal person
So when I moved to England, I completely stopped eating the way I had as a child aka being really forced to eat
and eating is like this big chore that I don't want to do to like oh
I like this food. Now I wanna eat this food and right now I'm hungry, so I'm gonna eat this food
I was really excited to go grocery shopping because I loved picking out like all the puddings and things like that that I wanted to
to eat and so things were looking up with
that but being weighed every week as a child and being told off for not putting on weight it like does something to you you
Know like you you start to be like, oh my god. There's something wrong with me because I'm not putting on weight
so when I was around 15 and all the other girls around me were like
Maturing and I was like the only one who was still looking like a child
I was getting a little bit like upset and I was starting to get a little bit obsessed with putting on weight
so I
Remember there was a summer when I was 15 I've touched on this before but I just don't explain to those who haven't heard this
story
There was a summer when I was 15 where like literally every single day I ate one whole chocolate cake like a whole
Family sized. I mean a small family made them for four people or like I don't know but it was like a full cake
I wouldn't even slice it
I would just grab a spoon and just dig
in and I would eat a whole pack of like 14 pieces of bacon and it was like the streaky kind of bacon with like
Lots of fat and stuff and at that point I was weighing myself every day because I was like I have to put on weight
Yeah
I really wanted like boobs and butt and so what I saw around me all the time was like boys like boobs and boys don't
Wants skinny disgusting girls, who look like twigs and oh my gosh, we're gonna break you if I hug you too hard
You know and obviously when you're 14, the only thing that matters is what boys like cuz you're 14
I just remember looking in the mirror around that time and
Being like oh like I still look like a child and no one's gonna be attracted to someone who looks like this
but it's okay because I'm gonna put on weight and I'm gonna
get boobs
And it's gonna be great and when I have boobs
and a butt I'm gonna be so happy and so around the people would always be like are you eating are you eating are you eating which?
Brought back this whole like obsession with me eating which I hated
I really hate this obsession around like how much I'm eating when people ask me what my diet is
Literally 100% I eat what I want when I want. No one can tell me what to eat
it's really like I have to be hungry if I'm eating and I have to really want to eat what I'm eating so I follow
Absolutely no diet
I 100% just listen to my body and that's the only way that I'm able to regulate myself now cuz as a child
It's always been like this is what you have to eat and you have to finish it and if you don't finish it
You're a bad child and we're gonna weigh you and you're not gonna happen to put on any weight and it's gonna be really bad
and all your uncles and aunts are gonna say that we're not feeding you
There was literally a point in my life, oh because I worked at McDonald's. Oh my gosh, that was the worst
First of all, I worked at McDonald's for one year and in that one year
I was working McDonald's maybe like three four times in a week and that means that three four times in a week
I was eating a full McDonald's meal because they would give it to us for free during one of our breaks
For a year, I ate McDonald's three four times a week
Right, and I still didn't put on any weight
Like I'm not making this up a lot of people when I tell them like I'm naturally skinny. They're just like
that's not a thing and I don't understand how they could not believe it's a thing because
It's just accepted like some people naturally have dark hair
Some people are naturally tall some people naturally have green eyes, and that's fine. And that's normal
but when it comes to like some people are naturally chubby and some people are naturally skinny somehow people don't believe that and I don't
Understand why they don't believe that and yeah while I was working at McDonald's
You don't know how many jokes I got like well maybe you should eat one of those burgers from my customers. And I'm like
I can't say anything. I'm just like uh-huh
So while I worked at McDonald's literally every single day people would ask me about my weight
So it's literally always been like I can literally eat anything and I stay the same way
I cannot eat and I still say the same weight and of course I've been to doctors many many times
Because people are like, why don't you go see a doctor? I'm like I have seen a doctor
I've seen a doctor many times many many times. They've taken blood tests. Everything comes back normal
There's nothing wrong with me and that's something that I've taken a really time to realize like there's nothing wrong with me
so please because I know that I'm gonna get some comments like if you eat this and if you like this if you like this
then you'll put on weight and I'm like
I've tried so hard to come to terms with my weight being the way it is
And I've tried so hard to accept the fact that I will not be curvy and have big boobs at least not for now
Maybe when I'm older. I'll put on weight about comments. I get a lot of people disguised their comments
I was like we mean well, we're worried about you. Maybe you have an eating disorder
So we just want to check on you think of it this way when you comment on someone's picture
like you look really skinny. With a little like sideways face. Like she's really thin
She looks sick and you're not really helping anything because here are some of the circumstances
A) I'm naturally skinny and you're just telling me that I look like a sick person which it hurts my feelings
honestly
It does I don't like it
Or B) I do have an eating disorder and you telling me that I looked thin would maybe even make me feel encouraged
I don't know what it's like to have an eating disorder. There are people who around
sick people who are trying to help them and
As a person on the internet what you can actually do is unfortunately very limited. So, please try to be sensitive
It's not nice to ask someone how much they weigh
Oh, yeah
I will not tell anyone how much I weigh on the internet because I don't want people to look at my weight and think of
it as like their goal weight, so to sum up all of the questions that I get
No, I'm not sick. I don't have a particular diet
I will not tell you how much I weigh please stop asking and that's pretty much it
I think I've pretty much touched everything. So yeah, I don't have an eating disorder right now in my life
I'm very happy with my body and I'm getting a lot more confident with myself in general
I'm just feeling a lot more confident as a teenager. I felt really really bad about myself
but now I kind of come to realize that this is just how my body is and I just need to accept it and
I've been feeling pretty good about myself. I always
Wanted to have a curvy feminine body, and I've always been
Really- I mean to this day
I find that to be just really like attractive and pretty
And I just it's hard for me to understand what people are like I'm so chubby like It's so like ugly because I think it's so cute
I think that people think that
Chubby, or like fat is automatically ugly and skinny automatically
means beautiful and they're not they're like separate words and you can be skinny and ugly or fat and beautiful and
everything in between and it's all like perspective and it's all about how someone sees you so
Don't feel bad about your weight
If you are someone who's overweight and you are struggling with your weight
And you feel bad about yourself. Take me as
Someone who's always been skinny and was never happy with their weight as an example that it doesn't matter what you weigh
You will always be ready to feel bad for it because that's what the media wants you to because they want you to buy things
Yep, I think I've touched everything. Thank you guys so much for watching
Don't forget to hit like and subscribe and let me know in the comments, please. Kindly what you think of this subject
So yeah, thank you very much for watching bye!