IT'S TIME TO PLAY "DISINFOMERCIAL."
"DISINFOMERCIAL."
I DON'T KNOW IF YOU GUYS ARE AWARE OF THIS, BUT AFTER YOU
FALL ASLEEP TV STILL HAPPENS, LIKE REALLY LATE AT NIGHT.
BUT DON'T WORRY ABOUT ANYTHING THAT HAPPENS AFTER 12:30, IT'S A
A LOT OF BULL( BLEEP ).
EXCEPT, OF COURSE, FOR THE COMMERCIALS THAT GO FOR
THINGS SO STUPID, YOU TRICK YOURSELF INTO THINKING YOU NEED
THOSE THINGS.
THESE PRODUCTS ARE SO DUMB, THEY CANNOT EVEN MAKE A FULL
INFOMERCIAL ABOUT THEM.
BUT LUCKILY, THEY STILL FIND THEIR WAY INTO THE YOUTUBES.
I'M GONNA SHOW YOU RIDICULOUS PRODUCTS, AND FOR 250 POINTS YOU
NEED TO TELL ME WHY I NEED THAT PRODUCT, ALL RIGHT?
FIRST UP, SOMETHING FOR THIS GUY'S ASS.
>> BEASTLY BUTT ODOR?
HOW DO YOU STOP THE STINK?
HI. I'M ADAM JAY, AND THIS IS DOC BOTTOM'S A SPRAY.
>> CHRIS: KURT.
>> WE'LL HANDLE THE BUTT SMELL.
YOU HAVE TO FIGURE OUT WHY GROWN MEN KEEP SMELLING YOUR BUTT
HOLE.
>> CHRIS: POINTS.
MARY LYNN?
>> IT'S MORE EXPENSE AND I HAVE HARDER TO USE THAN SOAP.
( LAUGHTER ) >> CHRIS: POINTS.
AH, I CAN'T -- UGH.
NEXT ONE: HOW ABOUT THIS GLOVE FOR PEOPLE WHO DAENT STOP
TOUCHING THEIR MEAT, EVEN WHEN IT'S STILL COOKING.
>> THE GRILL GLOVE'S DESIGNED TO GIVE YOU THE PERFECT GRIP FOR
EVERY FLIP.
HOT POTATOES ARE HARD TO HANDLE. BUT THE GLOVE RESISTS
TEMPERATURES UP TO 500 DEGREES MAKING IT PERFECT FOR HOT BAKED
POTATOES AND MORE.
>> CHRIS: DO YOU-- WHY DO YOU HAVE TO PICK A ( BLEEP ) POTATO
OFF A GRILL WITH YOUR BARE HANDS?
OH, THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE!
I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING!
THOMAS.
>> ALSO GOOD FOR GIVING A PROSTATE EXAM TO THE HUMAN
TORCH.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).
>> CHRIS: WELL PLAYED.
EXCELLENT.
AND, OF COURSE, WHO CAN DEAL WITH PESKY, UNNECESSARY
SEATBELTS.
I PRESENT THE TIDDY BEAR.
>> WHEN YOU TRAVEL, IS YOUR SHOULDER STRAP TOO TIGHT AND
ANNOYING?
INTRODUCING THE TIDDY BEAR.
THAT'S T-I-D-D-Y BEAR.
THE CUTE GUY THAT ELIMINATES THOSE IRRITATING SHOULDER
STRAPS.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
>> CHRIS: FROM THE MAKER OF THE PUSSY OTTER FOR LAP BELTS.
KURT?
>> WARNING-- BEAR LOVES TO MOTOR BOAT AND WILL ( BLEEP ) ON YOUR
CHEST.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
>> CHRIS: POINTS.
MARY LYNN.
>> TITS ARE WEIRD, RIGHT, CHRIS.
OH, TITTIES.
>> CHRIS: NEXT ONE -- HERE'S A NEEDLESSLY PORTABLE CHAIR.
>> NO MORE SITTING ON THE GROUND.
NO MORE STANDING AROUND, AND NO MORE FOLDING CHAIR FRUSTRATION.
NOW THAT'S AN AMAZING CHAIR.
>> THIS POCKET CHAIR IS A LIFESAVER.
>> CHRIS: EVEN THIS CHILD LOOKS UNCOMFORTABLE.
( LAUGHTER )
MARY LYNN?
>> FROM THE MAKERS OF TABLE HAT AND COFFEE MAKER EARRINGS.
( LAUGHTER )
>> CHRIS: POINTS.
I WANT A TABLE HAT.
>> PUT IT ON YOUR HEAD.
IT'S REAL EASY TO GET AROUND WITH.
SOLID OAK.
>> CHRIS: LAST UP, A TALKIE PARROT MADE OF PLASTIC.
>> CHATTY PATTY.
SHE'S THE PARROT THAT TALKS BACK.
GIVE HER A COMPLIMENT AND SHE'LL GIVE IT BACK.
>> YOU'RE PRETTY.
>> YOU'RE SO NICE. >> YOU'RE SO NICE.
>> WELL, THANK YOU.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
>> CHRIS: THAT POOR, LONELY WOMAN.
THOMAS.
>> CHATTY PATTY WILL ALSO TEACH YOU HOW TO TIE A NOOSE.
>> CHRIS: ( BLEEP ).
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
>> CHRIS: KURT.
>> COMES PREPROGRAMMED WITH PHRASES YOU NEVER HEAR LIKE, "I
LOVE YOU," AND "YOU'RE IMPORTANT."
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
>> CHRIS: POINTS.
MARY LYNN.
>> THIS PARROT WON'T LEAVE YOU LIKE HE DID.
>> CHRIS: POINTS.
>> I'M FINE.