for better or worse it isn't possible to
introduce yourself to someone new and
instantly become friends with them
that really wouldn't make sense would it
you can't
be friends with someone you don't know
yet
so how do you make a transition from
introducing yourself to a new team
member to
having a weekly lunch date on tuesdays
with someone you work with
the answer to that is simple small talk
now i know we all hate small talk or we
say that we hate small talk we have this
idea that it's something hard stressful
uncomfortable boring or even meaningless
and sure it's true small talk tends to
be
polite but unimportant conversation
we also worry over what kinds of
questions we can ask or what is
appropriate in small talk
i'm anne-marie with speak confident
english this is exactly where you want
to be
every week to get the confidence you
want for your life and work in english
in today's video you're going to learn
how to make small talk in english
easy fun and successful
so that you can get to know a new
co-worker and develop
better relationships with the people
that you see at work regularly
by the end of this lesson today you'll
be ready to start asking questions at
work and
enjoy conversations with your co-workers
to get started let's do a quick recap on
why small talk
is so important and how it can help you
develop relationships in english
small talk is the pathway to learning
something new about a co-worker finding
a meaningful connection with someone
discovering a potential new friendship
and
having fun in a conversation so whether
you want to get to know
one of your co-workers better or you've
just
introduced yourself to a new team member
here are three different ways you can
start
small talk conversations successfully
and i'll include examples along the way
option number one is start with a
compliment and then
add a connected question this is
definitely a strategy americans love and
this is what it sounds like
i love that sweater is it new those are
cute shoes where'd you get them
that drawing is fantastic are you an
artist on the side
this is a strategy several of my
students who live in the united states
have noticed
and they thought it was a little bit
strange one of my students asked me
why do americans always want to know
where i bought
something and the truth is that
isn't really what we want to know
perhaps sometimes we want to know where
you got that dress or those shoes
but what we're really doing is trying to
start a conversation
and we do that by complementing
something we like
and then following it up with a question
in that process we start to learn
something about you of course if i ask
you
where you bought those shoes i might
learn what
store you like to shop at and maybe it's
a store i also like to shop at
it may seem small strange and
insignificant
but the only way to develop a
relationship
is to find those initial connections
however small they might be and this
strategy
helps us start those small talk
conversations
in a really polite and positive way
the second strategy you can use for
small talk
is to get the conversation flowing with
engaging questions
and this is easier than it sounds
we're all familiar with questions like
how long have you worked here
how long have you been an accountant do
you like working here
how was your weekend those are all
common questions
in fact that last one may be the most
common question asked on monday mornings
but the problem with all of those is
that they lead
to very simple or one-word answers
for example how long have you worked
here four years
how long have you been an accountant
seven years do you like working here
yes how was your weekend fine
it's really hard to have a successful
conversation when someone just gives us
a one-word answer
a better approach is to use questions
that
encourage someone to talk and talk
and talk and talk the more someone else
talks the more we learn and
it's easier to find more engaging
in-depth questions and find connections
here's an example last week i shared a
lesson
on how to successfully introduce
yourself to
new people at work let's use an example
introduction from that lesson
and see how we can follow it up with a
successful
engaging small talk question the
introduction may start with
hey rebecca nice to meet you i'm sarah
i'm the new part-time accountant here
how long have you been at the company
now with that first
question it's very possible for rebecca
to give a short one-word answer
and she probably will she might say i've
been here seven years
or simply seven years after that short
question
a better small talk question that
encourages conversation might be
what do you like about working here
it's really difficult to give a one-word
answer to that question
not only does that question encourage
conversation
but you'll also learn something
interesting and get
more details about rebecca and her
experience
working at this company similarly if
you're talking to a new co-worker
who has recently moved to this
particular city
you could ask how's the new neighborhood
and a response could be it's good it's
fine
a better question might be what do you
like about your new neighborhood
with that question anything is possible
not only are you encouraging the
conversation
but you may find some wonderful
connections or
maybe even learn something new about the
city where you live
another example of course on monday
mornings you could ask your coworker
how was your weekend and the answer is
usually
it was good it was fine or you could
start a monday morning conversation with
so what kinds of things do you do on the
weekends for fun when you're not at work
once again the answers to that are
endless and you will
certainly learn something new and
interesting about your co-worker
when you ask engaging questions not only
will you get longer answers but the
conversation will be more fun
and it will be easier to keep it going
with follow-up questions
and finally the third way to start
successful small talk at work
is to ask for advice or get someone's
opinion
now you may be thinking anne-marie is
that really small talk
isn't giving my opinion more personal
and my answer to that
is yes and no if i ask for advice on
buying a house or marriage or if i ask
your opinion on a political candidate
those are definitely more personal
topics and would not be appropriate for
small talk
but asking for your favorite pizza place
on a friday night
or where's the best place to get coffee
near the office
or asking if you recommend barcelona for
a great vacation spot
because i know that you went to
barcelona last summer
these are all appropriate topics for
small talk
and they're also asking for someone's
advice
or their opinion everyone loves to give
their advice
their recommendations and their opinions
so these are extremely successful ways
to get a conversation going
i'll give you a couple of examples
here's how you might include a question
on someone's advice or opinion
when you're meeting a new co-worker hey
rebecca it's nice to meet you i'm sarah
the new part-time accountant here
i'll admit that i'm a little nervous on
my first day but i'm really excited to
get to know everyone
and i'd love to find out where the best
places to get coffee around here
what's your favorite near the office not
only does that example
include an introduction following the
structure i shared in my lesson last
week
but it also ends with a question seeking
advice
or someone's opinion about a great
coffee shop near the office
here's another example if you're
chatting with a co-worker you
already know well hey sue you know how
my husband and i get pizza every friday
we're kind of tired of the same old
place what are your thoughts on the best
pizza in town
or here's another hey sue didn't you go
to barcelona last summer
i'm thinking about it for our next
vacation i'd love to get your thoughts
on it
notice in those examples i didn't ask
where do you like to get pizza
or do you recommend barcelona asking
those
questions could lead to a very simple
one-word answer
or even a simple yes or no instead i'm
asking for
details advice and opinions by starting
with
what are your thoughts on or what are
your thoughts about
that is an excellent simple way to ask
questions
on someone's opinion and to get more
in-depth answers
and with that you have three simple ways
to ask small talk questions that make
conversations easy successful and
fun in english as a quick recap
strategy number one is start with a
compliment and ask a connected question
strategy two get the conversation
flowing
with engaging questions and strategy
three
ask for someone's advice or opinions now
it's time for you to practice
i would love for you to share some of
your favorite small talk questions
and then i have a second challenge for
you
after you share your small talk
questions below the video
look at the questions other people ask
and practice answering them not only
will you learn a variety of small talk
questions to help make your conversation
successful
but you'll also get practice in how to
answer them as well
with that if you found this week's
lesson useful i would love to know
and you can tell me in three simple ways
number one
give this lesson a thumbs up here on
youtube and subscribe to this channel
so you never miss one of my confident
english lessons
number two if you know someone else who
struggles with small talk in english
share this lesson with them and you can
do that easily
by sending it via email or sharing it on
facebook
and finally be sure to practice and
share your examples with me
have a wonderful week thank you so much
for joining me
and i look forward to seeing you next
time for your confident english lesson