Top o the mornin' to ya laddies! My name is Jacksepticeye and welcome back to honey...
I'm trash! We have our new house. It's all done and dusted. It looks lovely.
AHAHA... laughing strawberry.
Alright, so this room needs some love at some point. I am going to do some other missions though today.
I'm not just gonna make it all about this house, okay? House, it's not all about you, but look at my lovely kitchen.
Look at my wonderful kitchen without a back door!
That's fine. That's fine. Oh my god, when you change the FOV in the game, it puts the fuckin menu further away.
♪ Oohhhhhhh... mercy me...♪
BOOM.
That's not right! *laughs*
Wh-who in their right mind thought that that was a good idea, huh?
Was it JERRY? FUCK that guy!
*inner peace restored*
Okay, that's more like it. And this time I put the knocker on the outside! Did I do that on the other side?
Did I do that over here?
Please tell me I did.
Yeah!
*laughing* Why'd I go all the way around? All I had to do is go through the house. *more laughing*
Oh my GOD.
*laughing* Nooo!
*laughing* Eww!
It looks like there's spiders in my roof!
(True)
Turn... turn on. Ah, it's not so bad when it's on!
(Can't unsee those spiders though)
Eugh! Tentacles from the deep! (insert hentai joke here)
How's this room doin' -- OH!
Lookin' so full and fresh. Alright, we need to go off and do some more missions.
Uh, because I need to start making some more money
I've put like... a hundred MILLION grand into this house!
Uh, kindergarten...
Aunt's home to be redecorated, garage, painting the house...
Garage, by Max Jonson!
*dead inside voice* I bought a new car, but there is so much trash that I cannot fit it into my garage.
Can you please clean out my garage so I have somewhere to park?
Regards, Max.
PS: if you wash my car, I will pay you extra.
Max, you've just given me the easiest job in the world! I just did that myself for my own house!
No, no, okay. I don't wanna look at it. I don't wanna look at it! Not yet! Yeah, we'll wait for the doors to open...
...and we'll see just how bad this is. Alright, it's like --
It's like when you're havin' those home decoration shows, and then they're like "okay, close your eyes"
And then you turn around. It's like...
Wow!
*stock inspirational music* I-I-I'm nervous. I'm nervous. I'm nervous!
(Shield your eyes)
(jumpscare sound)
OH GOD! JESUS! Whoa! Whoa!
Oh, don't look directly at it! Oh... my god!
Oh... oh...
Oh no...oh get rid of it! Oh, no, that's bad! Oh, that's horrible!
I don't know you're hiring me to do this. You could just do this yourself, you know?
Wait...
Wait a minute...
This is MY car!
That's -- that's MY car! did you steal my car?
How... what?!
My car came free with my house. This is the exact same license plate! Same car, same model...
You just covered it in dirt to try and make it seem like it's yours!
I'm takin' my car back. I-I don't care. I worked VERY hard to get this car for free.
Okay? I'm not lettin' you have it!
And I mean, I know you're a dirty bastard thief and everything...
But you DID ask me to clean your house and this is my job
So I'm gonna clean your house first, then take you to the police. Okay?
Always the right thing to do. You know cleaning up the streets from crime is not just all about capturing the bad guys.
Sometimes it's about cleaning their houses as well, you know?
You clean their house, you clean the streets because they have a better understanding of life after that point.
I should know -- I used to be a volunteer sheriff's deputy for many many years. Do you guys -- do you guys think that...
Could I just take my car back? Can I just like...
Get out of here and like run home?
S-see you later! I'm takin' the car home! Broom-broom -- I'm just taking it out for a spin...
Wait, that's my car as well!
...?
What's happening?
Are you cloning my car?
Oh no, we're in a dystopian future, aren't we?
(Insert X-Files theme here)
Go to order kit... I didn't even... I did not know that that was the thing you could do.
That's so cool! maybe he's not a thief
Maybe I just assumed and you know what they say when you assume you make an ass out of you and me
Sorry, sir, whoa, did I get a new one of these the size and speed of this thing?
Holy God
That made my life so much easier, I love that
Clean the window ninety-eight percent clean dirt, where's the 2%
This is just like milk
But we were like I'll have like 2% I don't why 3% it's like you won't fucking tell the difference
Milk is milk. Okay, just to make sure
since I'm not sure if this person is a thief or a liar or
like
Bad man or anything or a criminal. So let me just check the rest of his house for
600g
Okay. Okay. Yep. Yep, definite criminal. Yeah his the inside of his house is just as dirty as the inside of his heart
Wait a minute
This is all it is
This isn't even a house
This is like a drug den, this is just a garage
Sitting on its own
removed from a house
Someone's doing well for themselves
someone's able to afford a whole plot of land just for their care and their garage and
You couldn't take the time to come in and clean it up just for Karen
What's the care wait?
he said that he needed to clean up the garage because he needed a road to put his Clara in but about when I got
Here the car was already here. I feel like this is a setup a lot of smoke stains around
That someone tried to burn down their business to get insurance money
It really feels like it
First the cloned cares
Then the lies about not being able to fit his car inside then having the place just be a garage and no house
Feel like I'm being set up for something is this like a drug sting. Are they trying to get me? Oh
Shit I cannot go back to prison quick clean faster. Ah, there we go
Much better. I'm gonna end this job here
I just remember you can clean up your house, but you'll never clean up your heart because honey, I'm
Trash but a deep lore in this house. Um
person's wife died and
They said they don't have the strength to clean up. They bought a new house because the other houses too many memories
And but they don't have the strength to clean up and set up this new house themselves
So the asker old jack boy in to save the day
I guess I guess they realize that I'm dead inside already. So no amount of like death or
Bereavement or anything like that could get to me. We're just understandable and frankly. I'm flattered
All right, so I put the game there's a different assembly mode
Now they added new assembly mode called easy, so I don't know what that entails
It's the exact same thing
What I thought it was supposed to be easier that was the exact same thing
Maybe it's cuz the radiator and that's the easiest thing to install. I don't know. We'll see bedrooms done
That's a hip-hopping and bachelor pad right there. Have fun. Amigo. I'm off to make someone else
Happy somebody threw a bit of a New Year's party
Huh?
Friends all came over had a few drinks
Sandra got a little again
Classic Sandra. Yeah
Yeah, I I had a party as well
Yeah
No, no one came but I had fun, you know, have you ever played solo charades
It's awesome
But I have friends I
Swear, it's okay buddy, you know your wife died and everything, but I'll scrub away the memories, don't you worry?
I know a thing or two about scrubbing away old memories that you don't want to keep okay?
It starts with some soapy water and then a little spot. Yeah. I have a song for it and everything
It reminds me to never get attached to people cuz they'll only betrayed me and leave me here we go
I hope you're happy with your whole mr. I
Hope that the dirt removed from your house is like the memory of your dead wife
Gone forever only to come back
stronger than ever if you don't maintain it, so
It's a great get to know you but I'm gonna just cash it now and I know she's dead but
Thanks for the money. Nice guy say one more job
These are all the ones I've done don't worry about the percentage completion these were just
Did what things can we do?
Bunker I feel like we did a bunker and we did the cannon while we couldn't do the kindergarten because the game was broken
Aunt's home to redecorate it
Okay, I feel like you need to help out Amy Johnson just because their English is pretty bad and they like how else are they
Gonna learn if I don't get in there and teach
My old aunt moved into a hospice facility and in her and I inherited her house making a long story short. It's in terrible condition
Don't you sit you're gonna make a long story short
Look at all this if I could I would bull doze it and build a new house, but I cannot afford it
So here I am asking for your help because you're a cheap piece of trash and you can help reinvigorate my life
Ha oh my
God, it's like someone
Drank Hello, Kitty and vomited it all over your garden
This is all from the outside it can already tell that this space is gonna be like a fucking bomb shelter
Ok, ok, ok preparing myself
Preparing myself. Oh I get to destroy walls
Sorry, I'm gonna sell this stuff I would say is that ok, but I don't care I'm gonna destroy some walls BuChE
BuChE oh so much fun
This is what the game should be all the time destroying walls all day every day
Really worried about some of these people. All you have to do is buy it apart and put it on look at that. Hey presto
Done and now you don't have a silly silly little spilly on the ground
No, everything is clean II cleaning now in here
Ok, I like doing this destroy it from the bottom
Destroy from the bottom now we here
Ok, the physics seems to have gotten a little better
destroy the bottom now watch our satisfying this is
Wow, ah there it goes that's what I wanted to see boom ha ha
So good
Boosh
Nice. Oh, it's so satisfying
Ha new demolition skill available. Click hotkey. Woo
fight more muscle strength 50% faster demolition upgraded hammer
Look at this BADASS hammer that I have! you'll better clear out of the way!
Are they just cosmetic changes?
Lovely memories, lovely memories of the days you used to travel and paint
Yeah, well those memories are gone. Ok, it's time to make new memories new
Newmories, I call them it's not about looking back
It's about looking forward. You wonder what I want you to do instead of taking pictures and drawings
Everything if the stuff that you have done. Oh, that's that's real cool
I want you to draw pictures of what you want to do, write down what you want to do
look forward in life, figure out what it is you want to do and then encapsulate that!
I'm gonna sell all your shit first though. You don't need this in your house
I don't know if mandarin orange is the right color for you
you know, it looks like the inside of someone I
Not the inside of a good person either this looks like the inside of Satan orange! Orange blorange, ok! Kitchen!
Eyelet. No, I need to be in the all tab, please
kitchen
island with sink!
He wanted one of these. Alright, where can we put this?
It looks kind of good there but see
I don't know if this is right for you again, like we need to make sure that you're getting what you need
And this one kinda like sticks out fight we put it there for now
We'll see if that's really what you want. Okay, I don't know I'm saying it's you you obviously know what you want
We're on the same page. It's these people who?
Have a problem kitchen island with a heating plate. You want two kitchen islands. Okay?
I'ma just put that here for now. I've never had to laugh in the face of God like this before. Okay, this is just
Really going against everything I've learned in style college
Guess we could put you like
Here see that that doesn't work
That just does not work. Okay
I know that this thing looks like it has a happy little smiley face in the front
That doesn't really fit there either that does not that's not conducive to the type of atmosphere that I wanted here. Okay this
Actually kind of works
That's beautiful little islands sticking out into the room I get it I see it now
I see what you were envisioning still don't like it cuz you know, you still have vomit all over the walls, but that's fine
That's fine. Two x bar chairs. Okay bar share. There we go. Perfect
White and black everything has to be white and black
You know because the world is in black and white
There's no room for discussion anymore
Everything is one way or the other and fuck you if you disagree with me. I need to get a refrigerator, Japan
That'll go right there. It looks like an air conditioning unit
I can't even open it. Are you sure that that's a fridge I?
Think that might be a robot sent from the future think that might be a Conor the androids head by cyber life, whatever
What do I know? I need to get a sofa Elle. Oh my god
You actually wanted me to do work in the rest of your house. Hell no, I'm doing up your kitchen
The most I'll do is destroy your lawn. Okay, right. Now I'm making your kitchen look nice. And this looks lovely. I
Must say tiles are a little shit though
I wonder if I can change those I cannot because I don't have the tool to actually be able to do it fine
That's okay. I mean, that's great. If you want to keep shit all over your floor, that's fine
I'm not gonna judge you for it. I'm not even gonna say how
Lovely, it is place object drew keener said something for the mother of dragon. What the hell is it Rick?
oh, it's a plant whole place looks alive now and
The task is complete except you put told me to put up a TV stand
But you didn't tell me to put a TV on it and I can't allow that
All right who hanging TV? Okay. This one's on me
Look at that look how lovely that is. I mean you do have to sit 400 years away from it. It's like what time?
Is that Game of Thrones or Queer Eye for the straight guy I can't tell at this distance it is the part
I love because they want you to remove
like everything in their house
Except this thing for some reason but you want me to destroy the wall. That's
That's weird. Okay, and I could go home right now
But what type of person would I be if I just left a job like this?
Huh, if we just left the job like this without destroying the favorite part
Without going over the walls. Yes
Yes, boo boo. Oh, that's so awesome
Another excellent job fully
3/4 of the way finished
trash sweet trash, honey
I'm home. I mean, I'm trash
Damn it. Okay. Well, I'm gonna leave this episode of house flipper here
As we make people's homes a happy place to live as we go around we're getting ideas
We're telling people what they're doing wrong. We're showing them how to do it
right because the game tells us how to and then we're making it correct and
Then we get some ideas for our own house, and then we can go ahead and make our place a happy
Lovely place to live, but for now
Thank you guys so much for watching this episode. If you liked it punch that like button in the face
who are you boys and
But having a block no saying your outro makes it sound like I'm saying I'll see all your nudes I won't