WALUIGI.
The tall bastard man that Nintendo loves to disrespect. We know he's number one.
But who really is he? And where did he come from?
And why hasn’t Nintendo given him his own game.
The cult following of Waluigi cannot be overstated. He is an icon.
The patron saint of weird content creators.
But isn’t it strange that this character so beloved by Nintendo fans
seems to be completely disregarded by the company?
I don’t believe that’s actually the truth.
Nintendo cares almost too much about their characters.
They rarely put a character into a game unless they're 100% sure it’s a good fit.
And I think this is the reason why Waluigi has been sidelined:
Nintendo doesn’t know what Waluigi is all about.
So, Doug Bowser, I have collected every single piece of Waluigi lore into this one
simple video, and I’ll be presenting it to you, so you can finally make that Waluigi game.
Wahaha!
That was my first attempt, I'll get better.
In order to understand Waluigi perfectly,
we have to take a look at every appearance he's made in a Nintendo game.
They’re the only ones that count toward canon.
If you'd like me to discuss Waluigi's noncanonical appearances, I can definitely do that for you, Doug,
it'll just have to be in my off hours
because it is DEFINITELY not safe for work.
Here’s every Waluigi appearance sorted by release date.
These 63 games contain the entirety of Waluigi’s characterization.
He is playable in 50 of them, and we can split those playable games into Sports and Party Games.
I combed through each of these appearances, grasping at any piece of Waluigi characterization,
but the vast majority of them treat Waluigi as a meat puppet. A space filler.
An extra body on the character select screen. And, honestly, that’s one way to see Waluigi.
I hear you, Doug Bowser. Why should I care about a space filler character?
Well, you already care about a space filler character.
A little fella named Mario.
Let’s discuss Waluigi’s counterparts to shed some light on his origin.
The original Donkey Kong was supposed to have Popeye characters, but Nintendo couldn’t get the license,
so Shigeru Miyamoto created an unnamed player character as a stand in.
And that space filler was later named Mario.
People think that characters have to have some deep backstory in order for people
to like them, but that’s NOT TRUE. People love Mario BECAUSE of his humble origins.
The same cannot be said about the rightfully despised coward boy that is Luigi.
You see, Luigi was made because they needed a player 2 in the game, so they just palette swapped Mario.
That is a character filling a space by copying another filled space.
As much as I hate to admit it, I will have to revisit Luigi later in this video,
because he is key to developing the personality of Waluigi, and that's partially because of Wario.
Wario wasn’t made by Miyamoto. Supposedly, the team behind Super Mario Land 2: 6 Golden Coins
didn’t enjoy being forced to make a Mario game because they didn’t create the character.
So Hiroji Kiyotake created a bad Mario, someone that had all of Mario's evils exaggerated.
And finally, we have Waluigi, who was created by the same character designer who worked on Golden Sun.
The guy who made Saturos and Isaac and all of these intense powerful characters
used his talents to make the most intense, most powerful character.
And he made him for a very important reason:
because Wario didn’t have a doubles partner in Mario Tennis.
If Wario is just the evil exaggerated form of Mario, then Waluigi's the same for Luigi.
And that’s really all we get from Waluigi’s first encounter.
That, and the fact that Luigi is not afraid of him.
*Mario Tennis music plays*
"Luigi not afraid."
Luigi, the milksop who is afraid of all, is not afraid of his evil, funhouse mirror twin.
There’s something to that, but I don't know if I can quite grasp it without discussing all of the lore first.
So let’s switch back here.
As I mentioned before the tangent, Waluigi often plays the role of meat puppet,
so not all of these games have lore that is useful to us in developing a Waluigi game.
So I’ll take them off the board.
After cutting, we're left with 5 references to Waluigi, 7 party games, and 13 sports games.
From these 25 appearances, we can take all the juicy morsels and put them into a list of Waluigi Truths.
Let’s start with the references.
Though Super Smash has notoriously snubbed our large purple child,
the trophies do a pretty good job of fleshing out his character.
Super Smash Bros. Melee lays out 8 Waluigi Truths in just three sentences:
Four things right there: Tall. Thin. Evil looking. “Seems” to be Luigi’s rival.
That one isn’t really definitive, so we’ll keep it ambiguous.
Waluigi is a mischief maker, and he takes it seriously.
Luigi is exactly the same age as Waluigi, and I do not know who that reflects worse on.
Also, I love that Waluigi is connected to Wario, but no one's ever cared to take a closer look.
Are they friends, accomplices,
lovers?
It’s unclear!
The next Smash games really hammer home these truths,
only adding that he must also have a crooked mustache, a large nose, and a love of kicking.
Hmm.
*crashing noise*
The final reference comes from Mario + Rabbids Kingdom Battle,
where a large rabbid called Bwaluigi appears.
This is the closest Waluigi has ever come to appearing in a plot-based Mario game.
A fucking rabbid has had more screen time than the original Waluigi.
What can we learn from this?
As we move onto the party games, a lot of Waluigi’s lore is reiterated.
The main additions are that he is a misanthrope who loves to party.
There are two strange pieces of info in the party games.
In Mario Party 5, each pairing gets a different team name, and Mario plus Waluigi are “Psuedo Bros.”
Not enemies.
It seems like Mario is okay working with Waluigi instead of Luigi.
The second weird piece of info is in Mario Party 4, where Waluigi is described with the quote:
“That Waluigi's a serious sneak! Watch out for his Sparky Sticker..."
This quote doesn’t have any useful info for us, but the phrase “watch out for his sparky sticker”
is the worst and I hate it and why’d you put it in a family friendly video game, Nintendo?
Finally, we have the Sports games, where Waluigi started.
Mario Tennis set the tone for Waluigi with two truths.
One, that he’s highly skilled as a technique player. And two, that Luigi is not afraid of him.
This one's still weird to me.
These ones all have quotes that reiterate what we know about Waluigi.
He's hardworking and he's skilled, even if he cheats sometimes.
We have some metaphysical characterization in Super Mario Strikers, where the legend states
“Waluigi's ego tends to be his biggest enemy.”
In Mario Hoops 3-on-3, his Baller Name is “The Question.”
Which I think just solidifies him as an enigma.
Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Winter Games shows that Waluigi is a great jumper,
and Waluigi’s special move in Mario Super Sluggers is the Liar Ball, which is a ball that
he splits into two copies, one real and one false,
which emphasizes his mischievousness.
In Mario Power Tennis, there is a blooper reel where Waluigi is aware that this is all a show.
Does this mean that Waluigi is able to break the fourth wall,
or does it prove what I already knew,
that Waluigi is great on camera.
It's hot under these lights, anyone else hot in here? I'm just gonna pop this bad boy off if that's okay.
*crashing sound*
And in Mario Tennis: Power Tour, Waluigi appears without Wario.
Their relationship was never clear, but it is surprising that Waluigi, who was built to be Wario’s tennis partner,
can appear in a tennis game without him.
Luigi’s still there. Why can’t Waluigi exist without Luigi, save us all a headache.
And that’s basically all of the Waluigi lore you can learn from the games. The 23 Waluigi Truths.
And you can use them to create a Waluigi video game.
And I could stop this video here, Doug,
but I’ll tell you what, I'll do you a favor.
I'll tell you what I think the Waluigi game should look like, since I’ve done the research for ya.
If you’re gonna make a Waluigi game, you're gonna need to make it distinct.
Nintendo does a great job of tying gameplay to what makes a character special.
Mario’s got platformers locked. Wario has eccentric greedy microgames.
Luigi...
you know what, let’s actually go through Luigi’s truths and see how it led to Luigi’s Mansion.
Luigi is foolish, he's a coward, he's weak, he's pitiful.
And you take these truths and you think, hmmm, what kind of setting would allow this mistake of
a human to really exhibit his uselessness?
A haunted house!
This man has been bamboozled into comedic haunted house entrapment three times,
something most Hollywood stooges have only been duped into once.
He’s a big dumb idiot, and I would HATE to be associated with him.
But Waluigi is Luigi’s twisted reflection, so his game will be far removed from this numpty.
Let’s make it.
First, we're gonna move the truths that are physical traits to the side, since they're baked into Waluigi.
Next we have to decide on a cast of characters.
Honestly, Waluigi has been sidelined for so long that this needs to be a solo mission.
Now, let’s talk about the rest of these truths.
If you were to separate them out, you could probably make dozens of different games.
A mischievous prank game. A, uh, game where Waluigi gets schwasty every night.
And I’m not opposed to these games, but Waluigi contains multitudes.
Why does he turn to mischief? Why does he work so hard only to be cast aside by society?
Who is this enigma of a man, whose true enemy is himself?
The Waluigi game, like the man,
should be a mystery.
Nintendo already has wonderful mystery games, but they’re too cute.
Waluigi is raw. He's real. To convey the complex emotions of a complex man,
we can’t rely on traditional animation styles.
The Waluigi video game
should be Full Motion Video.
Doug, I know this is a wild concept. Nintendo is not known for live action video mysteries,
but Waluigi is just the intellectual property to explore this new genre.
Imagine Waluigi as a hard-nosed investigator, struggling to pick apart the pieces of who he is.
A man solving himself.
I mean, there is the issue of casting.
You gotta find someone who’s evil looking, and has a crooked mustache,
and a big nose and is great at jumping.
And, you know, that's a... that's a hard task to find one guy who's got all those features, you know, I...
Well now, wait a second, Doug.
If you take a look at my truths, you'll find that they're nearly the same as Waluigi's.
I’m hard working, I’m a bit of a scamp, and though I might not be as tall and lean,
there’s enough of me that WANTS to be Waluigi that I’d devote everything to being him.
I need this role, Doug.
I’ve spent the past few months devising this pitch for you. No one wants this more,
cares more about Waluigi than I do.
I will fight Charles Martinet for this role.
Is that what you want, Doug?
YOU PICK THE WEAPONS.
I WILL END HIS CAREER.
And that’s why I hope you’ll consider me for Waluigi’s Currently Untitled Full Motion Video Game.
But there’s something that's still nagging at me.
I’m sure you noticed that I didn’t address all of these Waluigi truths.
Why does every single quote state that Waluigi "thinks” he’s Luigi’s rival?
You could read this as Waluigi not being important enough for Luigi to consider him as a rival,
but why go through the trouble of putting that in EVERY SINGLE description?
Why not just make their rivalry canon?
And the fact that Luigi is not afraid of him is mind boggling.
Luigi’s personality is 90% fear and 10% being green.
Mario is shocked when Waluigi appears, and yet Luigi is calm,
like he somehow expected him.
And if Waluigi thinks his biggest rival is Luigi, then how can his actual biggest enemy be his ego?
Does that make Luigi the ego to Waluigi's id? A-a-and if...
"You can't have a Waluigi without a Luigi." "He splits into two copies, one real and one false."
"Pseudo Bros. Not enemies." "Why can't Waluigi exist without Luigi?"
Luigi and Waluigi are the same person.
*Vesti la Giubba starts playing*
It’s so simple. Luigi is just manifesting his own repressed desires as an alternate personality,
a shocking twist that no one's ever done in media before.
Waluigi is just the exaggerated form of Luigi’s deepest desires.
The want to be skilled. The want to be respected.
The want to PARTY.
Waluigi is everything Luigi wishes he could be but could never be
under the famous gaze of his famous brother.
What an amazing twist. What an amazing truth.
What an amazing role for me as Waluigi.
Think of the accolades, the game awards, the respect.
As someone who wished to be Waluigi for so many years!
As someone... who wished...
If there are two personalities, am I number one, or am I the one who is longing?
Oh god. I'm not a Waluigi.
I’m a Luigi.
No no no... Nonononononono!
*mirror shatters*
*shaver buzzes*
And that’s just ONE potential ending to Waluigi’s Currently Untitled Full Motion Video Game.
If you’re interested in licensing the idea, Doug, feel free to reach out to my agent,
and we can get filming tomorrow.
Or in like… five months 'cause I am gonna have to grow the mustache back-
I probably shouldn't have shaved it before we...
You know what, I don't have an agent, so just don't contact me.
I don't want to play Luigi, so.
Pat- "Can you sob while doing it?" Brian - "Okay."
*sobbing while shaving*
Pat - "Head back."
*Brian gags and coughs* *Jenna and Pat laugh*
Brian - It's so hard to sob while shaving because it gets in your mouth.