- [Instructor] Consent for Aspies.
In this video, I'm going to explain
the concept of sexual consent using visuals,
because it's a very important topic,
and we need to make sure we get it right.
So the first thing to note about sexual consent is that
it's quite different to other concepts of consent.
For example, when I was in primary school,
consent was in the context of going on a school excursion.
When the school wanted to take us to the museum,
they would send home a consent form to my parents that
they would have to sign to give their okay that
they were happy for the school to take us to the museum.
Now sexual consent is quite different.
Instead of being an okay, the question we're asking is yes.
Sexual consent must be a yes, not just an okay.
It cannot be given in advance,
and that also means that it can be taken away at any moment
if the person decides that they no longer consent.
So it's one of the more complicated things
to navigate socially,
and so we need to make sure we get it right.
So when talking about sexual consent,
the most helpful question to ask is not
a black and white consent or no consent,
but rather, "How much do you want this?"
How much does the other person want this?
And if the answer is, "Yes, definitely,"
that's a 10 out of 10.
"Yes, I want this."
And if the answer is, "No, never,"
that's a negative 10 out of 10.
"I don't want this under any circumstances."
And in the the middle here, you've got a fairly
uncommittal response.
"Yeah, I could kind of want it, I guess,
"but I'm not really sure."
We want to stay away from this middle area at all costs.
Because according to the law, it is a very binary thing.
On one side, you've got consent.
Yes.
Woo, the person agrees and consents
to whatever you're doing.
And on the other side, you've got no consent,
otherwise known as rape in the sexual context.
So we don't want to be anywhere near this middle area
where there may be one millimeter on this side is consent,
and then one millimeter on this side is no consent.
We want to stay all the way up here
in this end of, "Yes, definitely."
And that makes sense from a logical standpoint, too.
If you want to have sex with someone, and they're like,
"Meh, I'm not really sure.
"I don't really mind,"
you're gonna want to make sure that
they go much closer to this end of, "Yes, definitely.
"That's definitely something I want."
So there's another line that's also important.
It's not only about what the other person thinks.
It's also about how do you feel about this situation?
Are you saying, "Yes, definitely,"
this is something you want?
Or are you actually doing something
you don't really feel like doing?
So when you take into account both of these axes
on the graph, what we're saying is
you want to be in this region up here,
where you both definitely want what you're doing.
And you want to stay away from the middle area of,
"I'm not sure if I want this.
"You're not sure if you want this."
Because as I mentioned earlier,
sexual consent can be taken away at any moment if the person
decides or remembers or realizes
that they no longer actually want
to do whatever you're doing.
So the higher you are,
the more sure you are that you're a definite yes,
the easier it's going to be to avoid this confusion
and make sure that you both have a good time.
So I hope that's made sense.
And please share this video if you found it helpful.
Thanks. Bye.