Hey, what's going on here?
He was losing his head!
Right, lads, I've been asked to come here today to play Martin, the security man,
and we're here to wind up Rhian Brewster,
so what is it you want me to do, what's the score?
He thinks we're coming here for a shoot with NordVPN,
and usually if we're late for these we get fined.
I'm gonna be in the van. Joe, you act as if everything's normal.
No pressure.
Make sure you get in his head and wind him up.
Sound, I reckon I can do that.
I think he'll be steady to start, and then he'll get more and more annoyed.
He'll bite for fun, him.
See you in a bit, enjoy!
Hiya, lads, you OK?
Are yous for Liverpool?
Yeah, if your name's down, you're all right.
Erm...
Joe Gomez?
No. Have you not got a pass?
Have you got a pass?
How come you haven't got a pass?
I'll just phone my boss and I'll see what the score is.
Security is dead strict, you know, with Brexit and all that?
They're just...
It's going to voicemail.
Hiya, Greg, I've got two young lads here in trackies.
One's got a pass and one hasn't.
So if you can get back to me as soon as possible. Cheers, mate, ta-ra.
No, he must have popped out. The only thing I can suggest is that
because you've got access, you go upstairs, if you can get a pass for the young lad,
and, erm...
..I'll get you in.
Sorry?
No, I have six meals a day, mate, bodybuilder.
Yeah, so I've got to be careful what I eat. That's in my macros, that.
Be as fast as you can, mate.
So what's your name?
Rhian?
Have I met you before?
Were you in Pontins last year?
With your mum and dad?
Easter Extravaganza - were you there?
I've seen you before.
Rhian? Rhi-ann?
Isn't that a girl's name?
Unisex?!
So it's like a male version of Rihanna?
SLURPING
So, Rhian...
LOUD CHEWING
What is it you're doing today?
Yeah. Nice.
Where are you from?
London?
I'm going to London next week.
PHONE BLEEPS
Yeah. Be good.
I'm just going on my own. I just like to go on little weekends away.
Do you ever go on any of them online dating apps?
That's all I do all day, on here.
Bit of a cougar, that one, isn't she?
Here y'are, what do you reckon, Ieuan?
I'm older than you, remember.
That's my picture.
What'd you reckon?
I just thought I'd show a little bit of... Know what I mean?
Are you a trainee, like an apprentice?
No?
Was you an apprentice?
So if the players kick the ball over the fence
would they send the apprentice to get it, that type of thing?
No?
I need you to stay close, you know, mate.
I could do with you sitting down.
Why?
They're just dead tight with security. Cos if they're watching upstairs on the camera,
and you're wandering around, they're gonna pull me and say,
"What's going on? Who's this lad?"
It's my first day on the job, I've got to be dead careful, d'you know what I mean?
You on Instagram?
What's your name on Instagram?
Brewst?
You got a lot of followers there, did you buy them?
That's weird, that.
HE GIGGLES
Hiya, Greg, you OK?
Oh. Oh, right, OK.
Yeah, so just get him to fill that form in.
All right then, ta-ra, mate.
So...
How do you spell your name?
R...H...I...A...N.
It's your birthday soon.
Hiya, mate.
Ta-ra now.
See ya.
Reason for visit?
You're on TV?
Contact number?
0-7-9...
National Insurance number?
You don't know your National Insurance number?
What happens if you claim Jobseeker's Allowance or something?
ANDY WHISPERS: Joe, Joe...
OK, what's your mum's maiden name?
What was the street you grew up on?
What's your first pet's name?
Like the pickle?
JOE: Hey, what's going on here? ANDY: What's going on here?
I tell you what, you're a cocky little one, aren't you?
He was losing his head.
Yeah, it was, yeah.