- Hey, y'all! Welcome back.
I'm Mama Doctor Jones,
a board certified ObGyn,
and mom to four,
and it's everybody's favorite time of the month.
Much better than that other time of the month.
Thank you for loving my corny joke.
I love it too, even though it's overdone.
But it's also Pride Month!
So instead of reacting to TLC's famously entertaining show,
"I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant,"
we're reacting to an episode
from the truly YouTube channel called
"My Boyfriend Gave Birth - And He Didn't Know
He Was Pregnant."
If you're new here and you wanna subscribe,
we would love to have you.
We talk about all things pregnancy, gynecology, birth.
But, if you don't want to learn about those things,
don't subscribe.
Because you'll definitely leave with things
to tell your friends.
Let's jump into it.
(upbeat music)
- [Nino] I thought I needed to poop,
and I realized,
(record scratch)
it was a baby.
- [Narrator] This is 27 year old Nino.
He fell in love with 22 year old Joseline.
- I'm transgender.
- [Joseline] And I am also transgender.
- [Narrator] Nino didn't know he was pregnant
until giving birth to their son, Julian.
- [Joseline] He didn't know he was pregnant.
We realized that he was actually pregnant
because he gave birth.
- So let me explain a little bit
about what they're describing about their lives.
So Joseline is a transgender woman,
meaning she might have the parts to get someone pregnant,
like sperm and a penis.
Nino is a transgender man.
He potentially has the parts to get pregnant and give birth,
like a uterus.
I think this is a really important point,
because some people don't know how to refer
to someone who is transgender, and that's okay.
If you're just here to learn, I think we should be okay
talking about that, and teaching that.
So people who are trans are referred to by their gender,
meaning you don't refer to them
by whatever was assumed to be their gender at birth,
because their gender may not align
with the sex that they were born as.
If they are a transgender man,
that means they were born with parts that looked like
it would be a girl, but they weren't.
And if they're a transgender woman, that means
that they were born
and assumed to be a boy at birth,
but as they grew, they realized that they were not.
The easiest way to remember this is that you want to refer
to them as the gender that they are,
not the gender that someone thought they would be
when they were born.
Hope that makes sense.
- [Narrator] The couple are now worried
their son will be judged because of his parents.
- [Nino] I realized I was trans when I was around 18.
Before that I was just, a lesbian in guy's clothes.
I always knew I was different.
I always told myself,
"Yeah, yeah, your Adam's apple is gonna come in,
your face is going to get a little more chiseled." You know?
I was always expecting it to happen.
I live like a man.
My girlfriend lives like a woman.
You know, we take hormones.
Never in a million years
I would ever have imagined I would get pregnant.
- This is why I always say in my videos,
"If you have the parts to get pregnant,
and you're having sex with someone who can get you pregnant,
you should be worried that you're pregnant.
If something changes or something's going on."
- [Joseline] I realized I was trans when I was young.
I used to literally wear like my mom's clothes,
her lipsticks,
and stuff like that.
I would've never thought that growing up,
I will be like able to be a woman, or become a woman,
how I've always felt.
- [Narrator] Joseline and Nino met four years ago,
and haven't spent a day apart since.
- [Joseline] We met on like this dating website.
That is for like people like us.
- Their love story is cute
but that baby is freaking adorable.
I can't get over it.
- [Narrator] Three days before giving birth,
Nino didn't know he was pregnant,
and instead thought something was very wrong.
- [Nino] I felt like I was dying.
My babe, I was telling you I was dying
and then she was rubbing my back.
She was like, "Don't worry."
I said, "Everything's gonna be good."
And I went to the bathroom and I just see,
I was like, "Babe, I've (bleep) on my intestine."
- I was just calling the ambulance.
- She was so shocked that before she called the ambulance
she's like, "What's going on?"
And I've seen her leg and I was like, "Oh, (beep)."
I said-
- Oh my gosh!
So not only did he not know he was pregnant,
but he went to the bathroom and was bleeding,
and there was a foot sticking out.
So we've talked about this before.
This is called footling breech.
And I don't know how far along
the baby was in development,
but that's dangerous no matter what.
Footling breech,
there's some debate.
Should we be delivering more babies breech?
That's up for debate.
We're not even gonna go there.
Footling breech is extremely dangerous,
because what can happen is as the baby
comes through the cervix,
and its legs are out,
it can move through,
and that, everything under the shoulders
is the smallest part of the baby's body.
The head is disproportionately big
compared to the baby's body.
So what can happen is that the cervix can be dilated enough
for the whole body to come through,
and then the baby's head can get stuck.
And, in that, is also stuck the umbilical cord,
which can cut off circulation
and cause severe brain damage.
So it can be very, very, very dangerous
for a baby to be born in the footling breech position.
And this gives me extreme anxiety as an ObGyn,
like thinking about someone calling
and I'm there next to the people answering the phone
and saying, "I'm at home,
I'm on the toilet.
And there's a foot hanging out,"
is like my worst nightmare.
That is terrifying.
- Leg and I was like, "Oh, (bleep)."
I said, "False alarm. Call the ambulance,
because it's a baby."
I felt alive after that,
all this me feeling I was dying and stuff.
And then after I pushed him, I was a foot of relief relief.
You know. They found out I was
at full term with him, even though he was unexpected
it's like, now that we got him, we want,
we want to do it right.
- [Joseline] Like, I just want to protect him.
I've not always wanted this, but like
it's something that I never thought that could happen
that I did kind of want.
Being on hormones you never know if like
you could reproduce or anything.
- It is true that hormones sometimes can make people less
likely to conceive a pregnancy.
However, it should never be assumed
that you're infertile just because you have transitioned.
So that goes for, you know, trans men
and trans women and non binary people who take hormones just
because you're taking a hormone
it doesn't mean it will make you completely infertile.
It may decrease your chances of getting pregnant
but like I always say, if you have the parts
and you're having sex with someone who has the parts
you should take pregnancy tests, period.
That's the end of the story.
- [Joseline] I wish that I was the one that could
be pregnant because when we spoke about it
he told me basically like he would not want to be pregnant.
And that if he was to get pregnant
that he will like be insecure to go outside
because he identifies as male.
- This is really common,
people who are trans men have anxiety
about being pregnant because they don't want to
have that dysphoria.
Pregnancy is so vastly viewed
by the world as being something exclusive
to women that people who are trans men
or non-binary can have a significant amount
of anxiety around the idea
of being pregnant and especially during pregnancy.
So there are ways around that
if someone who is trans really would like to carry a baby
then you can help them.
A lot of therapy and counseling can be helpful.
And having an inclusive doctor
or midwife who you trust is very, very helpful too.
That's one of the reasons that I make such an effort
on this channel to use inclusive language saying
you know, women, having a baby may be applicable
if I'm talking about a woman having a baby
but in this grand context where there's hundreds
of thousands of people watching these videos
it's really important for me to say people having babies
because you may need this information.
Even if you don't see yourself as a woman
you may have the parts to have a baby
and be non-binary or be a trans man.
I hope that that explains
to some of you why I see it as so important to
use trans inclusive language that does not mean
if you are having a baby
and I'm standing in front of you and you say, I'm a woman
I'm going to say, well, okay, birthing person.
Like nobody would ever do that.
Right? I'm a woman, I'm a mother
but that doesn't mean everyone having babies is a woman
or a mother.
And I think it's important on grand scale education
especially for me to be inclusive of all identities
because that's the goal, right?
The goal is educating anyone who needs the information.
Hey editing M D J.
I also have a video
from last year that goes through some of the science
about transgender individuals and about the importance
of having a trans-inclusive healthcare provider
and the way that it decreases depression
and suicidality in this patient population.
So I will link that in the description box below
if any of you are interested in hearing kind
of the more science of inclusivity side of this.
- [Joseline] I feel like it was best that we didn't know
because he went on with normal life and stuff.
- [Narrator] The couple are now worried
the son will be judged because of his parents.
- I think we're both worried that
that our kid is going to be judged for being different.
- [Nino] Like every time I go
to the women's ward in the hospital, they do after care
they always look at me like, why the hell is he here?
I'm the only guy there.
I feel so awkward.
- [Joseline] Yeah. And I'm also like scared of like
when he gets ready to go to school
like he gets bullied because of me.
- It's amazing that they've gone from a place of really not
ever thinking that this could happen or wanting to
have a baby to now being so incredibly protective
of the baby that they so clearly love.
And it's sad that they have to worry about this.
You know, I, I wish that people would open their eyes
to the fact that families can look a bunch of different ways
because it's really, it's really disheartening to hear
someone just have to worry about this when you know
they're just living their life.
They're not hurting anyone.
They're raising their son and they're happy.
And then they have all of these extra things to worry about
that really shouldn't even be considered because they don't
affect anyone else.
You know, it's just their life.
It's it's I don't, I just don't understand.
I truly just don't understand
- ...meeting my sister and my friend.
And this is basically the first time that they
will be seeing him.
- [Man] Long time no see.
Hi.
- You are
so
beautiful.
- So what it's like to be a mom now?
- [Joseline] This feels so great is crazy
because I never thought I was gonna be one.
- How was the doctor reacting to through like all of this?
Like when they found out that, like...
- They said, they said that you should take my job
and not not many men deliver their own babies.
- I would say that's pretty rare.
Not many people in general deliver their own baby
in their bathroom.
Not many men deliver their own babies in their bathroom.
And especially not many men have their footling
breech full-term baby in the bathroom that is equal parts.
Incredible and terrifying to me.
- Did you notice anyone looking at you in the park?
- Well, they was just a family that, that just went
by here and they was speaking bad about our family.
Say how we look weird
or where I family is weird or something.
I'm not gonna have that.
- She's a mother. Oh my gosh.
- I can't, still can't believe I'm a father.
- I'm really grateful for him because he gave me
something that I never thought I will have.
Like I say, he's a blessing.
- [Nino] As far as, you know, pregnancy would go, never
thought it, never actually, you know, desired it.
But now that it happened, it had made me the happiest I've
ever been.
- Their family is adorable and I am just happy to see them.
You know, I say this in every episode
but I can't imagine going from not knowing you're pregnant
to having a baby and having to switch your thinking
and decide what you wanted to do.
And you know, for a lot of these couples
or individuals going straight to, I love this baby so much.
I'm keeping it forever and so happy that this happened.
But I think in this situation
it would probably be even harder because this was
really something that they've just never had considered.
I just, I'm constantly amazed when they talk about
these stories where they didn't know they were pregnant
and then they'd have a baby and they can go from
like thinking they're dying to, oh my gosh, that's a baby.
Now this is an emergency situation with two lives
at stake and all of the emotions that come
with that and circle back so quickly to, I love this baby.
And I'm so happy that I have it
and I'm going to take care of it.
It's, it's amazing.
And I want to normalize, like I do
in every of these videos that if that doesn't happen
to you in a planned or unplanned birth, that that's okay.
Sometimes you do have to take some time to
get to know the baby.
And that doesn't mean that you're a bad parent.
(upbeat music)
That was a really interesting story.
And I hope that this video opens up some conversations
around different types of people who can be parents.
If you are on this channel
and the information I am giving is applicable
to you because you have the body parts it applies to
or because you know someone who has the body parts
it applies to you are welcome here.
Happy Pride Month be kind, inclusive,
and I will see you next Monday.