hello you sweetest potatoes ~
I just got back from Seoul for one of my best friend's wedding
and it was like a mini reunion with all of our high school BFFs
who are basically like family to me
and it was filled with so much love, giggles, and good-natured bickering
this trip was exactly what I didn't know I needed
for the first time since I started making videos on YouTube
which is a little over 3 years
I told myself I wasn't going to touch or think about work at all for one full week
and as someone who has historically expected a lot out of life
because I expect a lot from myself
this is something I'm actively working on
I went into this trip with zero expectations
so setting boundaries and letting go of expectations
this was my way of un-routining
we all know by now how important it is for us to have a routine
but something I feel that we don't talk about nearly as much
is how important and conducive downtime is for our long-term productivity and success
doing something new, doing something different
doing something we don't usually do
and even doing nothing for a few minutes a day
can be massively helpful for our mental health in the long-run
quoting one of my favorite books, Don't Sweat The Small Stuff
"The beauty of doing nothing is that it teaches you to clear your mind and relax."
"It allows your mind the freedom to not know for a brief period of time."
"Just like your body, your mind needs an occasional break from its hectic routine."
"When you allow your mind to take a break.."
"..it comes back stronger, sharper, more focused, and creative."
and this is exactly how I feel
which is why I made this video to share with you guys
so how exactly does one un-routine?
start by setting boundaries
true strength is found in standing firm, yet bending gently
boundaries can be something physical and tangible
or emotional and intangible
it's the limit defining you in a relationship to someone or to something
limits are something deeply personal
so it's likely that what my boundaries are will be very different from what yours are
which will be very different from the next person over
because what I do for a living, creating content..
and running two channels has grown to become
an extension of me and who I am..
it has been very hard trying to create healthy boundaries and turn my mind off
because I'm constantly thinking about everything that is work
but just because something is hard doesn't mean we shouldn't try
so if you guys have been following along my journey..
you guys know how long I've been working on my work-life balance
or should I say work-work balance..
haha haha okay
so the idea to not work for a full week..
I think I've worked myself up to the point where I just accepted it
I was like.. you need to do this for yourself
and you need to do this for your mental health
and I'm happy to report that while I did check my emails here and there
I only brought out my laptop for less than a handful of times
to actually type out emails or to do things that I need to do
and as someone who takes life and work very seriously all the time..
it's nice to take a little breather and to just be
while it's important and necessary to live and work with purpose and meaning
we shouldn't be attached to attaching purpose and meaning to everything that we do
so much so that we forget to be present
which brings us to setting expectations
keep your standards high and your expectations low
before the trip, I loosely jotted down things I wanted to do
which is just to shop and eat.. namely galbi jjim
~ so good ~
and I looked up neighborhoods I wanted to check out
but all in all, I wanted to be more present with friends I haven't spent quality time within a few years
rather than marry myself to a jam-packed itinerary filled with cute edgy worthy
cafes my main takeaway from this trip was that the bust and
beautiful things come into our lives when were free of expectations having
expectations means we're projecting or holding on to an idealized reality or
future which simply translates to not being present which is something I've
been guilty of for the majority of the past few months because I went into this
trip with zero expectations
I was mind blown by how much fun I had
because I was not disappointed in any shape or form
because I'm such a judgeer
like myers-briggs judger versus perceiver
I am a judger and I like to plan things
and because I judge and because I like to plan..
a lot of times, things don't go according to plan and I get upset
and if you're like me, it's worth trying to exercise the muscle of letting go of expectations
because after this trip I just..
I just know moving forward..
just literally don't have expectations for anything
definitely easier said than done
but this is why the first part of the quote I said earlier is so important
is you need to always keep your standards high..
but expectations low
okay
and next.. plan, put in the work, and let it all go
after putting in the work to set boundaries and expectations in place
the best thing we can do at this point is to put our trust in the universe
that it has the best path laid out for us in life, in work, and in play
from personal experience, I found that what's meant to happen will always happen
and what's not meant to happen, even if you somehow force it into your life..
will bring more turbulence and anguish rather than stillness and peace
which I think at this point in our lives, we should be striving for stillness and peace
which takes us to the next point of let yourself be bored
this is a long excerpt from Don't Sweat The Small Stuff
"if you allow yourself to be bored even for an hour or less and don't fight it.."
"..the feelings of boredom will be replaced with feelings of peace"
"..and after a little practice, you'll learn to relax."
"I'm not talking about hours of idle time or laziness.."
"..but simply learning the art of relaxing or just being.."
"..rather than doing for a few minutes each day."
"There isn't a specific technique other than to consciously do nothing"
"At first you may get a little anxious, but each day it will get a little easier"
"The payback is tremendous."
"Much of our anxiety and inner struggle stems from our busy overactive minds.."
"..always needing something to entertain them, something to focus on.."
"..and always wondering what's next."
"While we're eating dinner, we wonder what's for dessert"
"while eating dessert, we ponder what we should do afterward"
"after the evening, it's what should we do this weekend"
"after we've been out, we walk into the house.."
"and immediately turn on the television, pick up the phone, open a book, or start cleaning."
"It's almost as though we're frightened at the thought of not having something to do even for a minute"
"when you allow yourself to be bored, it takes an enormous amount of pressure off you.."
"..to be performing and doing something every second of the day."
all of that to say..
this is precisely why this trip was exactly what I didn't know I needed
even though I went into it slightly out of desperation..
that I've just been working too much and I need to take a little break
for the first time in my life
~ a little bit dramatic ~
the fact that I put my foot down and said I'm not gonna work
and I'm not gonna have any expectations
it was actually a pretty big feat
and I'm happy to report that I feel like a brand-new person
and with that, the last point is to just enjoy yourself ~
as I did *thoroughly* for the week that I was in Seoul
and this is something that I'm so incredibly and immensely grateful for
being able to have the time to do something like this
being in a position in my life where I can choose to not work for a week
and still get by and things won't go up in flames
and I'll be all right
and for being able to spend time with people who I grew up with
who I consider family
and just seeing how.. although we've all changed
and although so much has changed since 10-15 years ago when we met..
the fact that we all resort to our younger, carefree, less stressed selves..
when we're together says so much
and it's just.. relationships and friendships are such a beautiful and magical thing
and for someone who's been prioritizing work over almost everything else in my life
I'm relearning that relationships are probably more important than work
absolutely
and uhh..
it's something that because I re-enlightened to this fact..
I'm going to start putting a more active effort into being a better friend
being more present and just overall, being more available
because I've been very unavailable
and this was all made possible through un-routining
and..
I want to say here that un-routining..
doesn't need to be like a week-long thing like I did here
it can be anything
it can be applied to your day-to-day life
it can be 5-10 minutes out of your day
it doesn't need to be anything crazy
so with all of that, thank you guys so much for joining me on this journey
I'm glad I was able to share a snippet of my trip with you guys
through this form of a video
I wanted to provide a little more context and value
rather than just ~ hey guys, here's me having a great time in Seoul
and while there's nothing wrong with those types of vlogs..
I just I felt inspired to create something like this
and if you guys like this style..
I think some of you guys said you missed the voiceover style
so here's the moyceo over ~
*gibberish* ~ moice over ~
moist over..
here's the voiceover style
and with that, I hope you guys enjoy the rest of your weekend
and I send you guys the biggest voice hug
yes, okay.. baiii ~
baii ~