Relators, I think at the core of it is the capability of building close,
authentic, and sustainable relationships that foster trust. And I guess
I can say this because Relator is one of my signature themes as well.
We're kind of slow sometimes and maybe it depends what other themes you
have, but it takes us some time
to do that. It's obviously a part of the
Relationship Building domain, when we think about the domains of
leadership. Some words that I think are often used to
kind of explain and illustrate this Relator
theme; words like friend
might be an important one. People who have
friendships and can make friendships and can make lasting friendships;
confidante. I think trusted advisor is a word
that I would give to people who've
really learned how to leverage
Relator at a very sophisticated level.
Family member, colleague, companion,
partner, teammate. Someone wanted to talk about teaming, I think
Relators can be people who really enjoy being a part of a team. Especially when
they get to kind of interact and work with other people to get something done.
Maybe some adjectives that might kind of illustrate Relator a bit: Informal
versus formal. I don't know if Dr. Brim prefers to be called Brian or Doctor.
But many times Relators prefer more
informal approaches. Personal might be a
word; personal. Mutual. They really like mutual relationships. I want to get to
know you and I want you to get to know me. It's about both knowing
and being known. Transparent. Sometimes
especially with their friends
people who are Relators can be quite open and transparent.
One-on-one I think is a key part of being a Relator.
They are often at their best when they have opportunities
for one-on-one interactions with people.
It's some of what they do best.
Sometimes I think we've used the word intimate;
they can get close to people and they may be perceived as caring.
And again, I use the word slower.
Maybe slower is better than slow!
It's a social instinct that takes a bit more time. It's
kind of like when person with Relator goes to a party they're thinking
"boy, I hope there's somebody here I know. I really don't want to spend a lot of
time getting to know somebody I might never meet again." They think about,
I think, the longer term of relationships.
So they can also be a bit selective.
I think the basement of Relator
is that sometimes a person can be close to other people but that closeness
can become closed,
could become kind of cliquish, maybe showing favoritism to the people that
they're close to.
Or it could also be someone that could be initially hard to get to know
because they might not have this kind of stuff that WOO has.
WOO is really about social initiation and social courage,
the beginning of relationships. I think Relators are really good at
taking relationships to a deeper and a longer
level. Let's see what else.
The theme that is most often paired
with Relator in our data is Responsibility.
Typically when a person's got Relator you might often find
they have Responsibility pretty high on their
profile as well. The themes that are least likely paired
with Relator, this doesn't mean it's impossible,
are WOO and Command. And so that make some sense.
It will be interesting to find out if Brian kind of fits that pattern
or if he kind of is unique.
I think sometimes it's good to think about these themes within
the context of a role.
I've done some kind of writing about
thinking about these themes within the context of
being a parent and so I wrote this item here for how a parent might
use Relator.
It is "schedule regular one-on-one time with each your children.
Your undivided attention will deepen your relationship." And I've heard of
people who have done that. They've had kind of like dates
with their kids individually. Maybe you've got two or three kids and you
give them some kind of undivided attention. That's good for them but
it really enables you to do as a parent one of
the things that you do best is
kind of build that deep, deep connection.