Mark: Gotta take my keys out-
Don't want people to think I have a dick!
[laughtrack]
Hello everybody, my name is Markiplier!
And welcome to the "Don't laugh challenge!"
Not the try buhluh luh
[Tyler and Ethan laughing]
So, this is the don't laugh challenge
Which means that we
Are gonna have water in our mouth
And they're gonna try to make me laugh
And then I'm gonna try to him laugh
And then I'm gonna try to make HIM laugh
This is Ethan, by the way
Ethan: Hi!
Mark: I don't think we have ever formally introduced him
Ethan: Hi, I'm Ethan!
Mark: Yeah, he's Ethan
And this is Tyler!
And this is Chica!
Uh oh, Chica
[grunts of strain] [Pfft]
Tyler: PUPPOO M: ROOOOOOOAAAAA
OOOOOOAR [pitch gets higher]
Instead of water we have...
Water
Anyway. So that's not important
what is important is that we're here to not laugh
And so are you guys.
because that's probably what's gonna happen
M: *Mumbling* E: Alright so is the clock ready?
E: Okay, GO!
E: [old lady voice] Ok, let's see that tiiiiny dick!
E:Nope
T: I knew it was a bad idea to put a penis at the top of this...
T [old-man voice]: I remember back when
in wrestlin'
with that TINY
UNPLEASURIN'
PENIS
E: [Slight German accent] YODELE HEE HOO
We're going, to the...
schnitzel store!
Fuckin'... [Slaps hands against legs]
[Whistle blows]
E: [femininely] Oh coach, p-put me in...
T: You mean put it in you
M: {breaks}
[Mark and Tyler burst out laughing]
M: Did you get- you caught all of that?
You got every bit of that!
[Laughter continues]
That's what you get you PERVERT
T: YOU LAUGHED!
M: BUT YOU SAID IT!
M: I was- I was almost breaking, not because of what you did, but because every time it didn't work you guys went "NOPE".
[More laughter]
M: It's just the funniest shit!
M: [imitating Tyler] Man, I shouldn't have put a dick on the front of this hat
Man, that's really annoying, Huh!
Oh, well... BETTER SUCK IT
[ Mark Imitating Donald Trump] We're gonna make America great again
One wall at a time.
E: Ya like my tits?
M: [High-pitched and feminine] OH MY GOD I LOVE YOUR TITS! JESUS CHRIST!
E: AW YEAH
M: OH MAN, HAVE YOU SEEN 'EM? TRUMP'S GONNA MAKE AMERICAN GREAT AGAIN
Have you heard?
T: Mm-mm
E: I think I need a trim
T: [spitting] *Pthbbbht!* M: THE CARPET SEEMS TO-- JESUS DAMMIT [iPhone alarm going off]
[Assorted Laughing]
M: That was right on the wire!
T: I shouldn't have looked down! Dammit!
[ALL LAUGHING]
M: I've lost the fastest...
Tyler has lost the slowest, but still lost
And Ethan, uhh... We don't know what he is gonna do...
E: Do we want to make predictions?
M: PLACE YOUR BETS. RIGHT NOW. DON'T SKIP AHEAD.
Place your bets. If you win, you win, uh-- you win Ethan! Actually,
E: Mail you right to me!
[Ethan giggling]
M: We haven't even started yet and you're laughing?
[Tyler laughing]
M: [Sporadic whistling] D'ya see this badge? This badge means respect!
Ya' gotta' respect the badge, ya' gotta' respect the badge,
Ya' gotta' respect every part of it!
T: GOTTA GO FAST IN THIS PUSS!
M: [While laughing] Whaat?
WHAATT!?
WHAAAAATT!?
T: I GOTTA GO FAST!
M: [Hanzo Accent ] Uuugh. Dis a suspassy pussay
I never have duh spassy pussy like dat before
den i, den i thought to myself "Wasn't dat a mah dad's pussy?"
M: [Mocking Ethan] YODELAY LODELAY LAH YEEE HOO
FOR SOME REASON YOU THOUGHT THIS WAS GERMAN
HODELEDO LODELAY HO HOO HEE HAH
HOHAHOHAHOHAHAOAHAOAHO
I'M A GERMAN COLONIAL GUY
[Through megaphone] No, don't shoot him in the balls
HUR DE DER DER DERDER DUR FUKIN'
[Whistle blow]
T: Gotta ride that doggo
[Whistle blow]
T: WHEW [iPhone alarm goes off]
[Assorted exclamations of 'Damnit!']
M: Ew, gross!
T: He was like drippin' the whole time
M: You were so close!
Right then and there!
Alright, anyway...
So now my turn
Again...
Let's see if we can do this...
Better.
E: I wish my wife weren't dead..
Uh... She died pretty fast...
(small giggling from Mark)
She died... (cracking up)In a ho-use fi-i-re
[Whipping]
[Assorted cursing] [HMMS of victory from mark]
T: I was trying to get it to whip me!
Mark: blORP
E: STOP
YOU'RE GETTING IT ON THE CARPET XD
M: euugghh
E: YOU'RE GETTING IT ON MY CARPET
[assorted laughter]
M: All right, so the new score is...
HOOOOOOOOOOOOO
E: [mating screech]
M: Shut up! E: Sorry (Quiet)
[Mark groaning]
(weird french accent) DID SOMEBODAY SAY A STANKY POOSS?
Nobody?
Okay...
E: Can you help me find my dad?
[Tyler gestures to Mark]
M: My son?
E: No.
M: Oh...
[Mark and Ethan laughing] [Tyler struggles to contain composure]
M: We gotta move...
E: Can you help me FUCk my dad?
M: [LAUGHS]
M: Son!
(Mark and Ethan): Yeah!
M: ew
Ya know, that's not a requirement... To do that...
E: You can swallow it...
M: You could swallow it...
All right...
3, 2, 1
GO
M: [imitating Mickey Mouse] This is a stickup HUH HAH
Don't look at my face cause it's not Mickey up there!
But Imagine if this was on a Mickey body
STICK 'EM UP!
GIMME THE MONEY!
I MEAN IT
[Fake plastic revolver clicks]
T: [female country accent] I'm havin' a baby!
M: [SCREAMS]
*HIGH VOICE* I'M THE BABY
[Screams]
[High-pitched] LIFE IS HORRIBLE!
Mark: *voicing British Chica* As the wise man once said,(giggles)
NEVER (giggles)
WASTE AN OPPORTUNITYYY
WHEN IT PRESENTS ITSELF TO YOU
DON'T BE THE ONEEE TO OVERLOOK
ANYYYY PERSONAL SATISFACTION
THERE IS NOTHING MORE TERRIBLLLE THAN WASTED POTENTIAL IN YOUR LIFE
{Ethan breaks}
[All burst out laughing]
T: Aww Chica, good girl!
[ALL MORE LAUGHS]
E: I JUST SEE... Chica's face get slowly closer to ME!
[Laughing continues]
[Various praise for Chica]
(All): Number three!
(All): Number three m'lord!
M: We are such abusers
T: Aww, Chica... You're so good!
M: You're such a good girl!
CHICA!!
(Mark and Tyler): Chica! Where!
M: Get it!
(All): Get it!
M: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
Boink!
T: You just shoved the head straight in her mouth
M: She wanted it!
[Tyler laughing uncontrollably]
Chica: BORK.
E: She's calling the authorities!
[Everyone starts laughing]
M: So the score is...
Ha ho
Heyo
Huagh
Which means that it's all tied up.
Right?
So we got... we got, I won and lost...
Tyler, won and lost...
You. Lost and won.
No, you won and lost...
He lost and won...
I lost and won.
Technically, I lost the quick, uh... No... Tah... Maybe?
Uuuhhh........
T: We've all broken -- we've all broken once...
M: Yeah. We've all broken once.
So we're gonna go through an Ultimate Tiebreaker Round
T: Yep
M: No holds barred... Except still no touching
So, exactly the same bars being held, in this round...
Okay, so for the final lightning round, we are going to mix up the order a bit.
It's gonna be Ethan first
And then Tyler
And me
Mark {girl voice}: MISTA' J--
Fuck.
[Ethan stifling laughter]
MISTA' J, MISTA' J
HOW YOU DOING MISTA J? [Mark laughing]
CAN YA GIMME A LIL' PECK ON THE CHEEK?
MISTA J
PLEASE
WHOA JESUS
MISTA J!
[Mark Whispering] DO YOU SEE WHAT THIS BADGE REPRESENTS
DO YOU SEE?
M: {devolving into laughter} I am the law hahAHAHA
*MARK SCREAMING* I AM THE LAW AHA!
(ALL LAUGHS)
M: Ethan's score accumulated through all the rounds, sums to...
TCHA TCHA TCHA TCHA TCHA TCHA THCA
OK! ALL RIGHT!
Now that that's clear
[Imitating Donald Trump] I, DONALD J. TRUMP, WILL BUILD THE BEST WAAALL!
THE WORLD WILL HAVE THE BEST HEALTH CARE...
THAT THE WOURLD HAS EVER SEEN...
[Still imitating trump]MISTA' J!
[Mark laughing] TEAR DOWN THAT WALL haHAHA!
E: [Imitating Trump] We've got the biggest pubes,
The best-- [Breaks into laughter]
M: [Imitating Trump] people say I have small hands...
THAT'S A LIE.
LOOK AT MY GIANT HANDS.
(Breaking character) AND FROM THAT YOU CAN INFER I HAVE A GIANT PENIS [laughing]...
You got a nice pube bush on you![laughing more]
[Old lady voice] EH, Well, back to work at the whore house...
NYEH
E: [monotone] Hello everybody, I'm Markiplier
(pity laugh for Ethan)
M: I remember the days of ab--
[iPhone alarm goes off] M: God dammit!
E: FUCK
M: (ANGERY CRY)
T: If you would've said subscribe to Markiplier I would have been done.
M: Awww, dammit...
This is a bunch of bullshit...
T: And then Ethan just stands there "Hello, I'm Markipli-
T: NUH NU NUH Nu NUNUNUNU NUNU NOU NUH
E: [Childish voice] NOTHING'S WORKING TYLER
WE'VE GOTTA GO TO DRASTIC MEASURES!
[Through megaphone] I'VE GOT THE BIGGEST DICK!
M: So it's a tie between me and you huh?
T: So now
It's a face-off
M: Yeah ok.
Ok, so since I was the.. We're making up bullshit as we go along [Tyler burps]
Since I laughed faster the first time, if I don't make him laugh in this one. I lose.
Whatever
I don't know...
*French hymn* BA DA DAAA NA NA NA NAA NAAAAAAA
♪ This isn't American at aaaallll! ♪
HEAY I'M OFFICER PEEBUDDY
DID YOU DO ANY CRIIIMES?
HAAH?!
HAAAAH!?
DID'YA SEEE ANYONE DOIN' BAD OVER HERE?
NO?
Alrighty then.
SW-FUCK
JESUS
Alright
AHH! I'M CRAZY! AAH'M A TRUMP SUPPORTER! (giggles)
Jesus Christ
LOOKOUT
*Mark laughing*
M: Ok!
T: Well done!
M: Thank you! Well done!
Ehh. Well... I mean... Alright...
You did ok.
Chica really is the winner here.
T: [Repeating Mark] "This isn't American at all!"
M: Alright! So that was the Don't Laugh Challenge! [Outro music starts]
I hope you guys enjoyed that! We had a lot of fun with it!
If you did and you want to see more! Let us know down in the comments below!
['Crazy La Paint' starts fading in]
Thank you again everybody for watching!
Thank you to Ethan and Tyler for being here!
And as always! I will see you, in the next video! BUHBYE!
['Crazy La Paint' at full volume]
['Crazy La Paint' ends]
E: I've got a pretty stanky puss