- If I get on the cover of "Men's Health" magazine,
I will be the first transgender male
on the cover of "Men's Health" magazine, ever.
- Wow, that would be-- [cheers and applause]
- Yeah. - Amazing.
[cheers and applause]
- Amazing. - Yeah, it would be phenomenal.
Just phenomenal.
Okay, so I think this is obviously--
Bruce Jenner, opened this whole world up to a lot of people,
and we're all just learning about what that means,
and so, explain transgender to everyone.
So a really basic understanding of transgender would just be,
you're born--your biological gender is one,
and you identify as the other,
so for example, I was born biologically a female,
yet I identify--my soul identifies as a male.
- Mm-hmm. Okay, so,
at what age did you realize this?
You were--so you were gay for a while.
You were a lesbian for a while. - Yes, yes.
- Okay. And then...
Did you know then?
Did you feel different being a lesbian,
then you thought, "Well, it's going to be the next step"?
- Yeah, yeah, for sure.
So I kind of had a little different story
of most transgender people.
I feel like some people say that they identified
at at really young age, but I didn't quite have that.
I came out as a lesbian as early as 13,
but I didn't come officially to friends and family
till I was about 17.
- And how were your parents when you said you were gay?
Were they okay with you being a lesbian?
- Yes. A funny quick story is,
when I was in third grade
I told my mother that I had a crush on someone,
and the first question she asked me was, "Is it a boy or a girl?"
So she must've known something was up?
- Well, good for her for being open-minded
and asking that question and not assuming.
Okay, so you came out to your family when you were 16,
and then why did you feel like you weren't really a lesbian?
It just felt like something didn't fit.
Like, it felt like I was a lesbian only because
I was a girl who liked girls,
so that was the title that was put on me,
rather than the title I felt that I identified with.
- Mm-hmm. - So, um...
I was actually just driving home one day
with an ex-girlfriend of mine,
and she kind of turned to me one day--
and I was around the age of 20-- and she said,
"Have you ever thought of being a boy?"
And I was just kinda like, "I don't--I don't know,
what are--what are you asking me that question for?"
I'm not sure, you know.
I didn't really know where it was coming from.
So I went home that night,
and her voice kind of stuck in the back of my head,
that question, just:
"Do you want to be a boy?" "Do you want to be a boy?"
just kept rolling through my head.
And so, of course, I took to Google,
and I started Googling, you know.
"Girl that becomes a boy," or "How to grow up to be a man."
And the internet just engulfed me,
and I was just-- for the next 48 hours,
it was videos and links and articles and everything.
I was just totally involved.
- I think I have to say at this point,
I think people's fear of like, "Oh, my God,
"if there's--if it's just floating out there,
"then my child is going to just look on the internet
and become a different gender."
I don't think it works that way, just in case
anybody's worried about the internet.
- Not at all. - I don't think
you can become gay.
I don't think you can become anything.
Nobody--you are what you are, so I don't--
- Definitely. - I don't want people to--
'Cause it sounds like, you know, once you started seeing that,
that made you become a male, but that's not what happened.
- No, it was more like that was the missing puzzle piece.
You know, everyone said I was a lesbian,
but I had this missing spot, and I was like,
"Okay, you know, it all looks right,
but something's not right."
And then once I found out what
emotionally it meant to be transgender, I--that was it.
I was like, "This is my ticket. This is the piece."
I had no idea, because I didn't even know it existed.
- Right. - That was--and--
- And you feel more in-- true to yourself right now.
- Oh, yes. I feel like, today,
sitting with you right now, I'm at my most authentic self
than I've ever been in my whole life.
- Well, that's all that matters. [applause]
- Yeah, definitely. [applause]
- So-- [applause]
[applause]
Wow, so, you tell your parents you're a lesbian at 16.
- Yeah. - And so they are open-minded,
and they accept that, and that's wonderful.
Then, at what age do you say, "Oh, and by the way,
now I'm--I'm gonna be transgender," or I'm--
That's you also, right? - Oh, yes, yes, that's me.
- So--and so--what did-- how did they take that,
when you told them that?
- So, I came out to my mother first,
and I had a lot of guilt with that,
because I felt-- she had two sons already,
and I felt like I was--I felt like I was robbing her
of her only daughter, you know?
I had a lot of guilt for it.
When I actually came out to her--I always joke that
I cried more than she did.
And, um, luckily, in some sense, she is open-minded,
and she's been a nurse for 30-some years,
so she had dealt with transgender people before.
- Mm-hmm. - So she knew, kind of,
the base of it, so that was really safe and nice.
And then when I came out to my father--
I wasn't quite as close to my father,
so I was really nervous that this was going to be like--
could be a breaking point, you know.
This could be a-- - Because they were divorced.
- Yeah, they were divorced, yes, at a young age,
and um, he had--
I had seen him, like, every- other-weekend kind of style,
and I was really nervous that this was going to be
something that could make him just kind of, you know--
- And, how was he? - And he--he came around.
It was hard for him at first, but there was a defining moment
in my life when I got married to my beautiful wife, Jenilee,
and, um...
Yeah, hi. [laughs]
And um, so I think when he saw me
walking down the aisle as a husband,
as a groom, with my wife on my side,
I think that's when he--
you know, he couldn't not see me as his son anymore.
You know, I couldn't be his daughter.
I was only his son, and that was
a really amazing, amazing time.
- So you're close now. - Yes, oh, so much closer.
- Great, that's amazing.
So you decided you wanted to be on "Men's Health" magazine when?
- So, last year when I learned about Noah Galloway
I was like, "Oh, that's really cool.
I would love to do that."
But when the contest came around,
I was really kind of nervous, you know?
I mean, look at him. He looks ripped and everything.
So, um--so--
But I had gotten about two or three emails,
and--within like a 24 hour- 48 hour time frame.
and they were all saying, like, "You've gotta try out for this.
You have all the requirements. You have people supporting you."
And these were other trans men in the community.
So I was like, "You know what?" I asked my wife, and I was like,
"Should I do this? You know, I'm kinda nervous."
- You look great. So you've been working out
like crazy to do this, right?
- Yes, yes. Well, I've been working out
for the last, like five years of my life.
Yeah, it's definitely a lifestyle.
- Yeah, so if you get this, you're gonna continue
to work out like crazy, obviously.
- Oh, for sure, yeah! Oh, my goodness.
- So you're currently in first place.
- Yes. - And so, uh--
And so many people are supporting you
and want you on the cover,
that's gotta feel really, really good.
- Oh yeah, I mean, it's an amazing feeling.
So much support, like--
I think if there's one thing you want in life,
is to do your own thing, to live your authentic self, right?
And when you have people who back you up and say,
"You're doing a good job! You're doing really good!",
you're just like--you feel great, you know what I mean?
And I feel so happy that
so many people are supporting me.
We have like, you know, hetero-normative people,
all the way down the line of like gender-fluid people,
who are supporting, 'cause, you know,
being on that cover will question the new average.
You know, like, what is average, you know?
And I think it breaks that barrier.
- Well, I think what you said is key.
I think everybody wants to live their authentic self,
and they're scared to do it because not too many people,
when you're going against
what mainstream society says, gets that support,
so when you actually have the courage to do it
regardless if you're going to get that support or not,
that's the first, most amazing step you can take in your life,
but then to have the support of people,
that say, "Yes you're doing the right thing," it's amazing.
And I'm really proud of you and I think you're amazing.
- Thank you. - So nice meeting you.
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