Just like patience, forgiveness is a virtue. One that frees someone from feelings of anguish and
distrust towards another, however, for an INFJ it isn’t all that easy. With guards up
and skepticisms strong, INFJs are known for their difficulty in trusting other people,
and with that comes particular unforgivables that are nearly impossible to come back from.
Welcome or welcome back PSYCH-Os! Today we’re going to be discussing the 10 things INFJs can
never forgive. Before we get into it, we’d love it if you liked and subscribe to our channel,
as well as to click the post notification bell so you never miss a video!
Number 1: Pot-stirrers
Pot-stirrers, instigators, worm-can openers.. You get the idea. INFJs
can’t forgive people who argue for the sake of a little excitement in their lives.
Like we said, INFJs try to avoid confrontation and heated conversations as much as possible in
order to maintain their inner equilibrium. Whether someone is stirring the pot to prove themselves
right or to create drama that takes the heat off their backs, the concept of creating conflict
for no real reason other than self-gain can be seriously off-putting for the INFJ personality
type. Not only will they not be able to forgive an instigator for their approach to discussions but
INFJs also would never be able to fully trust them to the point of sharing their insights
in fear of it coming back on them. Number 2: Cheating
Whether it’s cheating within a relationship or someone cheating their way through life,
INFJs rarely forgive cheaters. Sure, with a broad understanding of mental and emotional motives
some INFJs will choose to not take the angry route when faced with a cheater,
however, just because they understand doesn’t mean they approve.
And it definitely doesn’t mean they’ll forgive. While they may be able to put the past behind
them and continue a connection with someone who has cheated depending on the situation,
this guarded personality type will always remain weary. Because once an INFJ’s trust is broken,
there's very little that can be done to gain that trust back. Which brings us to our next point..
Number 3: Broken trust
The concept of breaking trust in any relationship is quite broad and particular to the situation.
Whether someone has been lied to, talked about behind their back, or thrown under the bus,
they have a right to claim their trust back and no longer expect that individual to be considered
trustworthy. However, for an INFJ who is already extremely skeptical about trusting others,
sometimes even the simplest of things can break an INFJs trust to the point of no return.
In fact, sometimes it doesn’t even have to be targeted towards the INFJ
for them to second guess someone’s trustworthiness.
Things like ingenuine listening skills, hesitancy to share their feelings,
bad-mouthing other friends and family, not holding their end up within the connection, and
inability to control feelings of frustration and anger all leave a bad taste in an INFJ’s mouth.
Sometimes so bad that they want nothing to do with that person, with little explanation to why.
Number 4: Deceit and manipulation Nobody likes to be used or manipulated,
but in an INFJ’s eyes, there's no coming back from it. Because of the INFJ's intuitive nature,
they can have strong gut feelings about the people they meet, making it impossible to overlook the
negative qualities they feel about someone. When INFJs are caught in a conversation where they
or someone else are being manipulated, the INFJ will become overly uncomfortable,
because although they despise deceit, they also try to avoid conflict at all costs, so
it leaves them in a limbo of knowing what action is the appropriate one. It all comes down to
the fact that this empathetic type prides themselves on being as honest as possible
by using their highly valued set of morals to become a good force in the world. So not only
is manipulation especially irritating for an INFJ because they can’t relate to the motive behind it,
but they know it’s usually not a one-time-deal, meaning they can never fully forgive them.
Number 5: Ingenuine compliments
The real kicker to being around fake people and manipulators is one of the INFJs biggest
trust-breaking pet peeves, and that’s ingenuine compliments.. Whether it’s a commissioned retail
clerk raving about how nice those jeans look, or a sweet-talking narcissist trying to weasel
their way into their heart, INFJs can’t stand fakery. In fact, this introverted intuitive
can clearly distinguish between someone’s actions in comparison to their intentions,
leaving no room for flattery. So if someone thinks they’re buttering-up
this observant type in order to gain their trust and affection,
you should probably save the ingenuine compliments for someone a little more gullible. Not only
can they see right through you but they’re probably cringing at the obviousness of it all.
Number 6: Opinions expressed as facts
INFJs have a fine internal balance of imagination and logic
which gives them the ability to come up with some pretty interesting opinions. Not only that,
but because they’re always wanting to gain deeper insight into other people's thinking patterns,
they’re more than willing to hear different perspectives. However, when perspectives are
forcefully communicated or used in place of hard facts, INFJs automatically put up a guard knowing
they have to filter through what that person says is based on truth and what is rooted in opinion.
If they feel as if they’re being convinced of a certain opinion with little time or space
to incorporate their own views, an INFJ’s trust towards that individual and the things they say
will be jeopardized. Sure, some people talk with a little more passion and enthusiasm than others but
if they’re not open to alternative perspectives, INFJs won’t even try.
Number 7: Being put on the spot
There’s nothing an INFJ despises more than being put on the spot, especially in a group of people.
While they don’t mind being called out for their short-comings, this gentle type knows that there
is a right and wrong way of going about it. If an INFJ feels ganged up on, called out, or as
if they’re the but of a joke because of a mistake they made, they will never be able to forgive and
let go of the panic it caused them. Especially if there is a sense of anger or frustration involved,
they much rather wait for things to cool down and then be discussed rather than being the one to
take the brunt of it. Since INFJs can’t properly defend or really even think for themselves in
times of forced confrontation they end up feeling helpless and maybe even bullied in these moments.
Number 8: Hollow apologies
Insincerity of any kind speaks loud and clear to the INFJ personality type. Similar to ingenuine
compliments, INFJs just can’t wrap their heads around saying something that they don’t really
mean all for the sake of personal gain. Now let’s not forget that INFJs are known to be some of
the most forgiving, understanding and considerate types because of their tendency to give people the
benefit of the doubt. However, this doesn’t mean they can’t sense insincerity from a mile away.
Instead of taking it for what it is as most people would do, it’s almost as if
INFJs are faced with a sense of second-hand embarrassment for their immoral approach.
Sure, an INFJ can laugh it off and play along in the moment, but in reality, they’re setting
serious boundaries around their connection with that individual - boundaries are unchangeable.
Number 9: Being walked over
Preferring being behind the curtains rather than in the spotlight, INFJs have tremendous
strengths they bring to the table and are quite used to them being unrecognized by others.
While they do enjoy being appreciated and acknowledged for their abilities,
there's a sense of understanding when their results go unnoticed. However, when they’re used
for their talents, empathy and perseverance only for someone else to take the credit, there's no
chance an INFJ will forgive. When they feel as if someone is downgrading their successes, belittling
their worth or undermining their accomplishments, they’ll never be able to see that person the same.
INFJs strive for equality and shared credit, so when someone takes it upon themselves to
be seen as better than everyone else, trust and forgiveness goes right out the window.
Number 10: Illogical rules and regulations
Some people make rules just because they’re in the power to do so. Bosses, spouses, parents, and even
people in higher governing positions - when people let power get to their heads, INFJs will never
fully forgive. In fact, it’s not so much about the INFJs need for creativity and tendency to go
against social norms, but this personality type is always asking why. Why are things done this way,
why hasn’t someone reevaluated, why aren’t people standing up for themselves.. And if they can’t
find a logical answer, they begin to question the ulterior motives behind the regulations that
are placed upon them. Through this questioning is where the INFJ usually reveals the unfair, bias,
immoral and discriminatory side of it all, and this is where all potential forgiveness is wilted.
And that’s it for today’s video PSYCH-Os.. So, can you think of any other unforgivables as an
INFJ? Let us know in the comments below! Also, make sure to leave us a like,
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