So your 30-plus days of no contact are finished and you’re about to text your ex for the
first time since your breakup.
Your heart is racing.
What do you say?
Should you call instead?
What if they deleted your number and don’t know it’s you?
There are a million questions racing through your mind.
You finally decide on the perfect message to send.
It’s simple, pleasant, and in no way mentions your relationship.
As you hit “send” a smile that you haven’t felt in what seems like decades pinches your
lips, and suddenly the butterflies are back.
But just as quickly as you felt high, you’re crushed.
Your ex didn’t answer.
You wait, and wait, and wait some more.
Hours pass, days, weeks…
Over this time you send at least a dozen more messages, each one getting longer and more
emotional as time passes and frustration grows.
Still, no reply.
But why?
I’m Brad Browning, by the way… and in this video I’m going to talk to you about
why it is that your ex won’t respond to your calls or texts.
To tell you a bit about myself, I’ve been a relationship coach and breakup expert for
the last decade or so.
You may have heard about my best-selling program, The Ex Factor Guide, which teaches readers
how to get back together with their ex.
Well, now that you know a bit about me, let’s jump right into it.
There could be many reasons why your ex won’t answer your calls or texts, the most likely
of them is that the messages you’re sending don’t work.
Before I explain what I mean by this and talk about the types of messages you should be
sending, let’s get something out of the way.
DO NOT FREAK OUT IF YOU DON’T GET A RESPONSE TO YOUR FIRST MESSAGE.
Sometimes your ex won’t text back because they are actually busy.
If they don’t message you back the same day it doesn’t mean they won’t at all.
The key thing to remember here is that if your ex doesn’t respond to you right away,
DO NOT CONTINUE TEXT MESSAGING THEM.
It’s very easy for this to get out of control… one text message leads to another text message,
which may lead to you leaving a voice message on their phone, and so on.
If your ex doesn’t reply to one of your messages, do not freak out and simply stop
communicating with your ex for at least another week.
Now let’s talk about different types of texts; which to send, and which to avoid.
It’s equally as important to use the proper type of communication.
If your ex is a phone person, call them, but if you communicated mostly through texts,
then go that route.
You don’t want to make your ex feel uncomfortable, because then they will avoid communicating
with you completely.
So, one of the biggest reasons your ex may not be responding is because you may be sending
the wrong type of message in the first place.
The worst type of message is what I call “The Pointless Text”.
Pointless Texts are one-worders like “hi” or “sup?”
DO NOT send these kind of messages if you would like to get a response.
Texts like “Hey, how are you doing?” or “Hello, what’s up?”
can be just as bad in this situation.
Asides from being short and pointless, these kind of texts don’t rile up emotion.
If anything they’ll make you appear boring, desperate, and frankly not a happy person.
Sending these type of texts gives your ex zero reason to respond to you.
Instead of sending something like the Pointless Text, you might want to try out an example
text that I talk about in my Ex Factor Guide program.
I call this text my “Good Reminder” text message.
Unlike the pointless text, this is one of the first types of texts you want to send
to your ex.
The Good Reminder text will give your ex the impression that you are totally over them,
but still think about them from time to time.
It’s designed to make you look thoughtful, happy, and as though there is a reason for
messaging them.
Here is an example of a “Good Reminder Text.”
“Hey.
Neil Young is playing in Vancouver in October!
Thought you’d like to know because I remember how much you love his music!”
Sounds innocent, right?
The nice thing about this is there’s no pressure for them to respond.
You’re simply letting them know that you’re thinking of them and you're not seeming needy.
But you're also doing them a favor of something they might be interested in.
So there’s a good reason to send the message and it’s going to be interesting to them.
If you want to increase the chances of getting a reply then be sure to throw a few exclamation
marks in there.
In a recent survey found that the use of exclamation marks increased the likelihood of receiving
text messages back by 20 percent!
So, if you’ve been messaging your ex and not getting a response it’s time you tried
out of one these Good Reminder Texts.
If your ex does respond but with a really boring or bland message, don’t hassle them.
Instead keep the same happy tone that you’ve been using and be sure that you’re the one
who ends the conversation.
This will get your ex wanting to chase you.
If you’d like to learn about other types of texts that are sure to stir up emotion
and get a response, watch the full length video presentation at my website BreakupBrad.com.
As a part of my The Ex Factor Guide, I’ve included a number of powerful text message
templates to send your ex, ones that are guaranteed to remind them of what they’re missing.
Again, the URL to learn more is BreakupBrad.com.
Now, let’s talk briefly about PHONING your ex, and what types of things you should say
on the phone that will spark your ex’s interests and get them to pick up the phone or call
you back.
To begin with, if you are going to go this route and phone your ex, then it’s ideal
if you can call at a time when your ex isn’t going to be able to pick up the phone.
Obviously don’t call at 4am and wake up your ex, but try to call when you know your
ex is going to be unavailable so that your call goes to their voicemail.
By leaving a voicemail, you can avoid getting caught off guard by your ex’s responses,
and ensure the call doesn’t lead to any awkwardness.
When you do pick up the phone to make that call, be sure you know what you’re going
to say, and that your message is light-hearted and thoughtful.
Be sure that your call has a purpose, but that it also reminds your ex of a time you
spent together.
For example, you might leave a voicemail saying something like:
“Hey, Thought I’d give you a quick call to let you know that the season premiere of
Suits is starting on Sunday.
I figured you would want to watch it since the last episode we watched was so good.
Anyways, hope all is well.”
And that’s it.
In the event that your ex DOES pick up the phone, then stick to the same plan.
Just simply mention what you were going to say in the voicemail and carry onwards.
Make sure you don’t try and force a conversation too much -- you don’t want to arouse suspicion
that you are trying to get back together with your ex.
Just keep the phone call light-hearted, fun, and most importantly, brief.
Make sure that you’re the one to end the phone call.
The tone of your voice is just as important as what you say.
Don’t speak too quickly or it’ll sound premeditated.
You want to make it sound like you just heard the news.
Be calm, relaxed, and cheerful at the same time.
If your call is done properly then your ex will begin to think about you and wonder how
you’re doing.
They will enjoy the fact that you were being thoughtful, and because you don’t ask a
question or beg for a reply, it will make you that much more desirable.
If your ex phones you back, let it their call go to voicemail... and if a response is warranted
or necessary, wait at least 24 hours before calling back.
When you do call, sound upbeat and confident.
Don’t bring up problems from your relationship or any negative new.
Instead, tell them about some of the things you’ve been up to.
Make him or her laugh and ensure that they enjoy the conversation.
What If Your Ex Doesn’t Reply?
If your ex doesn’t reply, it’s not necessarily a bad thing, and their lack of response could
be for a number of reasons.
Maybe they’re working or driving.
Maybe they’re with a friend, or perhaps even on a date and don’t want the other
person to see your message or hear your conversation.
Then again, maybe your ex won’t respond to you because they’re still angry with
you.
Maybe their friends are telling them to move on without you, or they have set a personal
boundary until they feel more ready to talk to you.
Whatever the reason, don’t get upset or angry.
If you do freak out and start texting and calling incessantly, you will only look crazy,
and that’s a major attraction killer.
Remember, you’re trying to project that you’re a new and improved person, full of
confidence and happiness.
Also, remember what I said at the beginning of this video: if you’ve already been trying
to reach out to your ex, and you haven’t been getting a response -- even if you were
using some of the proven techniques that I’ve just been talking about -- don’t try again
right away.
Wait at least a week, or sometimes even longer, before you make another attempt.
Don’t make yourself look desperate or needy by constantly pestering your ex with repeated
calls or texts.
That’s it for now…
As always, thank you for watching, I hope you enjoyed this video.
If you’d like to show your support by liking it or subscribing to my channel, it would
be much appreciated.
As I mentioned earlier if you’re looking for more texting advice or ideas on how to
reach out to your ex then check out the video presentation on my website, www.BreakupBrad.com.
Well that’s all for now, so until next time, take care and good luck!