-Our next guest is a Grammy Award-winning musician
and songwriter and the front man of the band Wilco.
Their album "Cruel Country" is out now.
Please welcome back to the show
our friend Jeff Tweedy, everybody.
[ Cheers and applause ]
♪♪
Welcome back, Jeff. -Hey.
-I want to start by asking, do you remember this moment?
-No. -No memory of it at all?
-It doesn't -- Is that --
Who is that, Bill Hader?
It's not Bill Hader. He was just here.
It's Adam Scott. -Oh.
Cool.
[ Laughter ]
-Now, you worked with Adam before.
You also worked with Fred.
-Oh. -And -- Okay.
But this is a true --
Fred used to open for Wilco doing stand-up.
-Yeah, I didn't know he was gonna be here.
-Oh, okay.
Was it a weird vibe back in the day?
-He owes my wife a lot of money.
-Oh, yeah.
So this is a -- You --
[ Laughter ]
This is true that Fred made a promise to your wife.
-He made a legal document.
-Okay. -Several times, we -- Yeah.
-And, now, what was the impetus of Fred making this --
-My wife gave him his start in show business
by allowing him to answer the phones
at the rock club that she owned.
-Okay. This is true, Fred? -True.
-Okay, and so in return, what did Fred promise your wife?
-Initially, he promised 50% of all of his earnings.
-Okay. [ Laughter ]
-And then when she confronted him, about it...
-Sure, as you would if he didn't pay up.
-...he said he was sorry
and he would give her 75%. -Got it.
And, now, you've actually brought the legal document?
-I do have the document with me.
-Now, it is a video document. -Yes.
-And, Fred, you will confirm that you made this?
-Yes. -Okay. Here is Fred.
And hopefully, if anybody here, you know, passed the bar --
-I have my lawyer with me. -Okay, great. Alright.
Let's see if you believe this is a legal document.
-This is a legal document without jokes,
without irony or sarcasm.
This is not an exaggeration.
I, from now on,
owe Susan Miller
75% of my income.
It used to be 50%.
It's up to 75% because retroactively
going back to the amount I owe her before,
I need to add to that.
That is all money brought in by any comedy or any entertainment.
That is what's owed.
If you are a lawyer looking at this,
there is no irony in my face or, like, any winking.
I owe this money.
By the way, immediately.
[ Laughter ]
-I mean, I think that's a legal document.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-I -- Slam dunk.
-But Fred's a little shady, though.
That's the problem. Is it true that when Fred --
-How much could it be?
-How much could it be? -10 grand?
-10 grand? -Something in there, yeah.
-Yeah. -Yeah.
-You've made probably around 12 to 15 grand.
-I would say 12 to 15. -Yeah.
-So then you're getting 75% of that.
You're gonna do pretty well.
Fred -- Is it true that when Fred used to open for you,
he would sometimes walk out onstage and pretend to be you?
-Yes. Yes. -Okay.
So the audience is there to see you.
And what would Fred do? -Fred would --
He would borrow my hat, and I think he had a wig.
And he would borrow my guitar
and he would go out onstage and just go, "Hi."
[ Laughter ]
"Jeff Tweedy. I'm Jeff Tweedy."
And I think -- The sad part is,
I think a lot of people really thought it was me
because -- I don't know.
I guess he's a pretty good mimic.
-Yeah, he's a pretty good mimic. -Yeah.
-I also want to see if I can get confirmation on this from you,
that despite winning Grammys,
you had something that I only thought existed in legend.
You had a Chipotle burrito -- free burrito card.
-I did.
-And so explain how it worked and how you got it.
-I don't know how I got it. -Okay.
-It showed up in the mail one day in a carved wooden box,
like something you would see,
like, an immunity challenge amulet or something.
And you opened it up,
and it said, "Jeff Tweedy's free burrito card from Chipotle,"
and you would take it.
-Were you nervous the first time you presented it?
-Yeah, I was a little nervous.
And it never --
it never got easy using it because every single person
that you would hand it to at the register would go,
"What the [bleep] is this?"
[ Laughter ]
And you'd go, "Just scan it.
Trust me, just scan it."
And they would scan it, and they'd go, "What the [bleep]"
[ Laughter ]
'Cause it would come up 100% discount.
-Wow. -Celebrity discount.
-It would say celebrity discount?
-100% celebrity discount.
So I'd buy burritos for everybody in line
and for my children's school and stuff like that, yeah.
-Did they know who you were?
-The people at the counter? -Yeah.
-Oh, no. -Okay.
-No, never. Never.
And so that would be -- The other half of the story
would be that a lot of times we'd be sitting there eating
and they would be back in the kitchen
trying to figure out who I am.
-Right.
-And unfortunately, one of the main things that comes up,
I think, when you Google my name, at least for a long time,
it has been me singing Black Eyed Peas songs.
-Yeah, you did, like, a charity event where you played.
-I did a charity event for my friend Dan Sinker,
who made a book about Rahm Emanuel
and the mayor race in Chicago.
And one of the bits in his tweets
that he had done throughout the campaign was that,
"That ass[bleep] Tweedy won't do any Black Eyed Peas songs."
So he put together -- when he put out a book
of all of those tweets,
he asked me if I would play a show
and do Black Eyed Peas songs.
So I said sure. And I tried to do it.
It was out of -- It was not my skill set.
-Yeah. Do you mind if we show a clip?
Because I was very excited to hear
that you covered Black Eyed Peas.
-Sure. -You did -- I will say,
I thought it was a beautiful match.
Let's take a look.
-Tonight's the night.
Let's live it up.
I got my money.
Let's spend it up.
Go out and smash it like, "Oh, my God."
Jump off that sofa. Let's kick it off.
[ Laughter ]
-Beautiful.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Yeah, so --
so they -- so they --
so everybody in the kitchen would come out and want to --
"You're the 'I Gotta Feeling' guy."
-So wait. So the Chipotle staff
then thought you were in Black Eyed Peas.
-They thought I wrote that song.
-[ Laughs ]
-That's what would happen. I mean, it happened --
It happened once.
[ Laughter ]
-Thank you for your honesty. Thank you for your honesty.
-But yeah, because it happened once, I can say it happened.
-Yeah, you can say it happened.
Yeah, legally you can say it happened.
-But from that point on, we just got stuff to go.
-Yeah, that's smart. Yeah.
You don't want to put yourself in that awkward situation.
-Just got out of the way while they figured it out.
-Do you -- Are you ever in a restaurant
where you hear your music?
-Occasionally, but I'm not --
I'm always the last one to pick it out.
-Ah.
-I'll be like, "What is this?"
And my kids -- "It's you."
[ Laughter ]
-That must be a weird moment for your kids.
They're like, "What's wrong with you?"
-I think -- Yeah, I think they're used to that.
[ Laughter ]
The card stopped working, too, by the way.
That was an awkward -- That was an awkward day.
-Oh, my God.
Yeah. "Just scan it again. Trust me."
[ Laughter ]
You're like, "I'm a big-time celebrity."
-No, trust -- Just scan it again.
-Did you try multiple days,
or did the one day it stopped working, did you let it go then?
-I went to a different Chipotle.
[ Laughter ]
Tried it again.
-That is a day I hope you were on your own.
You didn't have your kids with you.
Like, "Don't worry, boys. It'll work at the next one."
-I was on the hook for a whole restaurant full of burritos.
-Oh, no.
You promised it to the store before you checked it.
You're like, "Burritos for everyone!"
-Exactly.
The only times I've ever been a big shot in a restaurant.
-Well, I'm very happy you guys are gonna be out here
playing another song for us.
It's always such a joy to have you here.
Thank you for making the time. You guys, Jeff Tweedy.