I was living in Springfield, Oregon at the time and had just started my
freshman year in high school I was placed in an advanced math class my
freshman year so I was in class with a lot of older students juniors seniors
and it was in that math class where I met my rapist he wanted to have some
type of sexual relationship with me but I was very clear with him on the phone
that I was saving myself for marriage there was one day at school
he asked me to meet him during class you know naturally my instinct was no I
can't well just meet me just meet me I asked
to go the bathroom or something and I went and met him he pulled me into a
private practice room at the school but he was just being very aggressive and
insisted and I started saying no at that point but I didn't really know what was
happening or I was just scared he forced me to lay on the ground and I guess in
my mind I escaped or I kind of you know blacked out he just told me to shut up
and that I better not say anything to anyone call me a bad word and got up and
left the room and I remember going to the bathroom
I remember seeing blood on my underwear and
then I just went back to class from then on it would cause a really deep gaping
wound in my in my spirit I had during that time tried to speak to him once
I remember at school in the hallway and it was like he looked right through me
like I didn't even exist I talked to my best friend at the time and told her
what happened and my best friend insisted that we go to Planned
Parenthood they explained my option of abortion they just told me all I needed
was like three hundred dollars and I didn't need my parent's permission
I just needed to make an appointment I gone to the nurse's office to be excused
from school ultimately I ended up cracking and telling her that I was
pregnant the school nurse asked me if I thought
that my parents would want to know that I was about to do this and I said yeah
and she asked me if I thought that if I told my mom that she would want to help
me you know and be understanding and I said yeah
so she convinced me to let her call my mom we were kind of afraid to tell my
dad because we weren't sure what his reaction would be I might have made it
look like I was angry at Krystal but I was really scared for crystals I never
felt anger like that my father was pretty adamant that the
baby would not come home I had a desire to keep my baby and I expressed that but
I had no way of making it work I know pregnancy is no easy walk for any
woman how the fourteen-year-old walked that walk mostly to appease my dad I
agreed to do the abortion a second time and we made an appointment on our way to
the appointment I was in the back seat and the parents were in the front my dad
was driving in I knew then that I didn't want to do it you know I sat in the
backseat just talking to God really and just heard God say to me to take his
hand to trust him and that her blood was innocent so I chose to trust God in that
moment and I told my dad to stop the car and I told my parents that I didn't know
what I was going to do but that I would be having this baby
I took some time to explore my options with a pregnancy counselor that actually
worked for an adoption agency adoption sounded like the best option for me as
long as I could still have a relationship with her and be able to
tell my daughter that I loved her so I chose an open adoption and the adoption
agency had a pool of adoptive parents to choose from so I literally was flipping
through a book of all these excited parents that you know want to be parents
that were ready to take home a child I got a call from my counselor saying that
a new adoptive couple had just reentered the pool they had a first that they'd
adopted it a little boy who was three and they were hoping for a girl to
complete their family so and they seemed really sweet so it was kind of like we
we courted a little bit you know he sort of dated a little we went to hang out
went to eat I stayed at their house and even my daughter's adoptive mom and I
went to the library picked out baby name books and we actually one day we sat
down and worked out what my daughter's name would be together so that was
pretty cool she was nine pounds one and a half
ounces and a head full of jet-black hair and
eyes like ebony and we spent two and a half days in the hospital together I
remember one time being in the hospital room and it was just me and my dad in
the room with the baby and I needed to use a bathroom
and so I insisted that he hold her and he didn't want to but I tried to be cool
you know mr. tough guy you'd be surprised how fast that melts away it
was a beautiful baby and when I came out of the bathroom he was there feeding her
the bottle I'll never forget that moment