[Applause]
I'm now convinced Jeff Bridges is he
crazy and not in the cool way just in
the disturbed hobo shouting at sparrows
and sidewalks laughs it's very
interesting critique I will take that to
heart
kristan valve seems like such a
her vagina is probably in Alcatraz for
peanuts
if you find benedict cumberbatch
attractive I'm guessing you'd also quite
enjoy staring directly at the cat's anus
well someone did and she put a ring on
it
some people ask me who has the biggest
penis in Hollywood
easy Bette Midler
Liam Neeson is a butterface in that his
face looks like a butt eat fart breath
nice
it's from acts John algún and Jarnell
good G Nance doesn't emily Blunt's eyes
make up for that horrendous sound that
comes out of her mouth
hashtag British accent in case you
didn't know what he meant
I made Salma Hayek movies her voice
annoys me and they never show us her
boobs man
his Andrew Garfield trying to do his
utter best it looks like a tennis file
[Applause]
[Laughter]
[Applause]
that lives in an RV
you can act add 10 CK is Jack Black Mary
cuz that's gross
Halle Berry's boobs are lopsided well
when they're real that happens
conspiracy-theory
tobey maguire is just a hamster in a
robot not me though because it's spelled
differently not to sound mean but Naomi
Watts has such a blah face I look at it
and there's just nothing like a blank
space where features should be
hey George Clooney your haircut sucks oh
and so does your sense of humor I'm on
you all night boy
[Applause]
I'm really sick of seeing the rock
blah-blah-blah-blah Dwayne Johnson
blahblah candy ass movie star blah blah
blah
go suck it I'll give you something sock
[Applause]
when it paltrow you ugly-ass big bird
looking shut up
[Music]