-I've actually never heard "four more years."
That's an interesting one.
No, it's -- We'll go -- We'll go for six.
Everybody wants to work in this White House.
This is a hot White House.
We have a busy day, but I always have a busy day.
I consider it work.
-Donald Trump has his first meeting
in the Oval Office at 11:00 a.
m.
-Growing up, they said I looked like Elvis.
Do I have social skills?
I don't know. I have social media.
Mike, will you be my running mate?
I wrote best-sellers. I guess I speak well.
One of the wettest we've ever seen
from the standpoint of water.
-This is a nice boathouse.
-A sleazebag lawyer named Aviante.
Da Nang Richard. Obamna.
An anomanous -- really, an anomanous -- April of 2014.
Space capsicle. Winners are winners.
But we want to make it perfecto.
You know what you are? You're the supers elites.
I'm changing titles.
I have broken more Elton John records.
You know, I graduated from high school.
You get some pretty good information by watching shows.
Nobody knows what a community college is.
Leakin', lyin' Comey.
-Gentleman's point of order is not well taken.
-It's right on point.
-I have smelled alcohol on your breath.
-Somebody said "treasonous."
I mean, yeah, I guess. Why not?
If we had a Justice Department that was doing their job
instead of -- -It's your Justice Department!
-Funneled through our firm, and the president repaid it.
Michael's not gonna lie. He's gonna tell the truth.
-I hire usually good people. What financing?
-Well, I'll have to pay him something.
-Pay with cash. -No, no, no, no, no, no.
-The man is a liar, a proven liar.
Truth isn't truth. -I write the answers.
My lawyers don't write answers.
I write answers. -He was watching Shark Week.
-It's Melania's birthday. -Isn't this incredible?
-Do you want to tell us what you got her?
-Well, maybe I didn't get her so much.
"When are we landing?" "Sir, we're almost there.
Seven more hours."
"Trump -- will he be prepared for the meeting?"
I don't think I have to prepare very much.
It's about attitude.
Getting a good picture, everybody,
so we look nice and thin?
They have great beaches.
You see that whenever they're exploding
the cannons into the ocean.
We're not looking up in the air.
Any rockets up there?
And then we fell in love.
I think the European Union is a foe.
Let me get that little piece of dandruff off.
I don't see any reason why it would be.
The sentence should have been, "I don't see any reason
why it wouldn't be Russia," sort of a double negative.
But China has total respect for Donald Trump
and for Donald Trump's very, very large brain.
'Cause I have a full faith in our intelligence agencies.
Whoops. They just turned off the light.
Didn't expect that reaction, but that's okay.
Wonderful people from South America
and from other parts further south.
-"Why are we having all these people
from shithole countries come here?"
-Barbed wire used properly can be a beautiful sight.
-OC pepper spray --
you could actually put it on your nachos and eat it.
-I will be the one to shut it down.
Take the guns first.
Go through due process second.
Diane, if you could add what you have also, and I think you can.
You know, if you go out and you want to buy groceries,
you need I. D.
Any guy that can do a body slam --
he's my kinda -- -Some people see a Dumpster fire
and do nothing but watch.
-Ditch "Cocaine" Mitch. -Beto is way hotter than you!
-He's not "Lyin' Ted" anymore. -What is he now?
-"Beautiful Ted."
"A thousand points of light" -- what did that mean?
-I'm not calling Mr. DeSantis a racist.
I'm simply saying the racists believe he's a racist.
-You get a vote, and you get a vote!
-So [bleep] proud of you guys!
-By the way, all those people in the back are fake news.
-Yeah.
Maybe Donald Trump wanted to fire the Special Counsel.
-You're on the set of "Morning Joe."
We don't B.
S. here.
-I think I've wasted enough of my viewers' time.
-I'm confused by there's so much confusion.
-And I wish I could help with your confusion,
but I, too, am confused.
-Don't believe the crap you see from these people.
Say hello to Shinzo.
Yes, please, Mr. Kurd.
I know you're not thinking.
You never do. -I'm sorry?
-I liked beer. Still like beer.
-When they go low, we kick them.
-And if you see anybody at a gasoline station.
-You're not gonna get arrested.
I'll take care of it myself. -I am Spartacus.
-I love this guy.
-The rapper Lil Jon said you called him "Uncle Tom."
-I don't know who Little Jon is. -We have too many
embarrassing uncles in the United States Senate.
-And I have a message for Cadet Bone Spurs.
-If he had a healthier diet over the last 20 years,
he might live to be 200 years old.
-If you Google the word "idiot,"
a picture of Donald Trump comes up.
-We run ads. -I see.
-This is a can of Campbell's soup.
-You ever see this guy with the pillows?
MyPillow guy.
-Here's a can of Coca-Cola. -Ahh!
What am I doing?
-It's bad. -I feel raped.
-Let's arm-wrestle. Space Force.
Enrique? I would give myself an A-plus.
Hello? Can I go higher than that?
Merry Christmas, everybody. -Thanks, guys.
-This is a 10-minute briefing, Sarah.
-Do your job, Sarah!