[Love Will Have Its Sacrifices - opening theme]
There's really no reason to get so worked up.
Are you kidding me?
It's just an apartment.
It's the Dean's apartment. We've been sitting in the Dean's chairs. We've been eating off
the Dean's tables. We've been-
Oh my God, we have been sleeping in your Mother's bed. Euuuggghh!!
It's a nice place, and we were only supposed to stay here for a few nights until you
decided to play Veronica Mars again.
Ok, what was that? Because it busted through some seriously thick oak doors without
without so much as scuffing a Louboutin.
That– was Carmilla's sister.
Oh. Well. Isn't that... Nice?
Yeah. She's Miss Congeniality, as long as you like your death threats nonchalant and frequent.
Mattie isn't going to try to kill you if she thinks it'll upset me.
That's a criteria for choosing a restaurant, or what colour to paint the living room-
not for murdering someone.
Oh! And I didn't even get to the best part.
Guess who's apartment this is.
The Dean's?
Am I right?
How did you-?
Well, there's a statue of Ishtar in the foyer that I'm pretty sure belongs in a British Museum,
and the walk-in deep freeze has shackles.
Well that does explain why the decor is so... intimidating.
And you did nothing while the mini-Dean shoehorned her way into our news broadcasts.
Look, I know Mattie. Sure she's unpredictable- I'm pretty sure Mother didn't even trust her-
but she's not going to want some epic battle. She's just going to want to do whatever she came here to do
and then she'll want to get the hell out of Austria. All we have to do is stay out of her way.
And what if she's the one who murdered those kids?
You heard what she said about gossip mongers, and didn't you find some article on the Board?
She just got here. How could she?
Well, what about the fact that murder is her preferred form of greeting?
We're vampires. A certain amount of murder just comes with the territory.
So this broadcast is going to be fun, huh?
[Super professional/awesome SNN opening theme]
Good Morning, Silas. Joining us today is Matska Belmonde, Chair of the Silas Board of Governors–
Call me Mattie.
here to present the University's official interpretation-
Let's just say I'm here to balance this program's pro-human bias.
Our what?
With the campus truce still holding, our top story is still the Voice of Silas murders.
Care to comment on the new evidence that the newspaper was investigating the Board?
While the loss of life at The Voice is tragic, The Board of Governors has nothing to hide.
We're here to repair damage caused by certain ill-considered actions that happened last semester,
and to balance the school's budget, which is in free-fall due to the drop in alumni donations this semester.
That's...actually more plausible than I was expecting.
I guess we can just move on to campus hazards.
And we'll need to cut that. Let's go with "Transit inconveniences". It's less inflammatory.
The first item on this list is a sinkhole filled with molten lava.
Which probably makes transit inconvenient.
-attempted to steal several humans' faces.
-acted out anxieties related to his appearance.
-tried to open a time portal.
-flirted with an alternative approach to chronology.
–rose from their graves to haunt the living.
-enjoyed a pleasant day out while making new friends.
-and that is all we have for today, apparently. See you again tomorrow. Maybe.
Now wasn't that an improvement to your usual hysterical nonsense?
We're putting people in danger.
Hardly.
We called an airborne swarm of piranha a 10% chance of precipitation.
There's moisture involved.
You know, I can see why Carm likes you so much.
There's still something unspoiled here. That's alluring. For awhile, anyway.
You, hot chocolate girl. You look familiar. Have I seen you somewhere?
I think I'd remember that.
[Rumbling, rustling and screeching sound in the distance...then silence]
What in the name of Skrillex is that?
Laura! You'll never believe this. I don't know what she's done but the Library is gone.
See that subscribe button? You should click it. [Love Will Have Its Sacrifices ending theme]