GOOD EVENING.
I'M AMANDA.
YOU MAY KNOW ME AS FISH DADDY, THE HIP HOP HALIBUT.
TONIGHT WE'RE GOING TO DISCUSS A TRAGEDY
THAT'S SWEEPING OUR NATION.
THE TRUTH IS, VERY FEW PEOPLE KNOW WHAT TO DO...
NOW WE'RE ALL FAMILIAR WITH THE POPULAR TV SHOW,
THE BRADY BUNCH.
♪♪♪
AS YOU CAN SEE, ON TELEVISION
THEY'RE A HAPPY, CAREFREE AMERICAN FAMILY.
BUT IN REAL LIFE IT'S A VERY DIFFERENT STORY.
YOU MAY HAVE HEARD ABOUT THESE HORRIFYING ATTACKS
BY THE BRADY BUNCH.
BUT NOW, CAUGHT ON VIDEOTAPE,
YOU'RE ABOUT TO ACTUALLY WITNESS SOME OF THESE ACTUAL EVENTS
JUST AS THEY ACTUALLY HAPPENED.
HERE YOU SEE A DELIVERY MAN
FROM THE CHINESE RESTAURANT, CASA DEL TOKYO.
HE WAS JUST TRYING TO DELIVER SOME FOOD
WHEN THE BRADYS ATTACKED.
WATCH.
[SCREAMING AND HOLLERING]
TRULY HORRIBLE.
NOW LET'S WATCH THAT ATTACK AGAIN IN SLOW MOTION.
THE POOR CHINESE DELIVERY MAN DIDN'T HAVE A CHANCE.
HE NEVER SAW THE BRADY BUNCH--
UNTIL THEY ATTACKED.
I WAS JUST TRYING TO DELIVER THE CHINESE FOOD,
BUT BEFORE I KNEW WHAT HAPPENED, THE BRADY BUNCH...
THEY ATTACKED ME!
IT WAS HORRIBLE.
PORK FRIED RICE WENT EVERYWHERE.
THEY KNOCKED ME DOWN, STOMPED ON THE SNOW PEA BEEF.
AND LOOK WHAT THEY DID TO THE EGG ROLL.
HOW DARE YOU, BRADY BUNCH?!
LOOK AT THIS MOO SHU!
MOO SHU, MOO SHU, MOO SHU!
HARD TO UNDERSTAND,
BUT THE BRADY BUNCH DIDN'T STOP THERE.
3 WEEKS LATER, A MOTHER DRIVING HER TWO SONS HOME
FROM BASEBALL PRACTICE MET A SIMILAR FATE.
LET'S TAKE A LOOK.
WATCH THE SILVER CAR ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF YOUR SCREEN.
NOW GET READY FOR A VERY BRADY BEATING.
[SCREAMING AND HOLLERING]
SO DISTURBING.
NOW LET'S WATCH THE BRADY BUNCH ATTACK AGAIN IN SLOW MOTION.
THEY WERE JUST DRIVING ALONG, MINDING THEIR OWN BUSINESS,
WHEN THE BRADYS WENT BESERK.
I HAD JUST PICKED UP MY SONS, JOHN AND ANDY,
FROM BASEBALL PRACTICE.
I PLAY FIRST BASE.
I GIVE OUT WATER TO THE OTHER BOYS.
ANDY'S NOT GOOD AT THINGS.
MOM!
ANYWAY, WE WERE ABOUT HALFWAY HOME,
JUST DRIVING ALONG,
WHEN...OH...WHEN...
THE BRADY BUNCH ATTACKED US!
THEY HURT US BAD.
I KEPT BEGGING FOR THEM TO STOP,
BUT THEY JUST KEPT ATTACKING.
CINDY PULLED MY HAIR!
OW!
JAN AND MARCIA SPANKED ME.
OW!
STOP WITH THE SPANKING!
WHY DID THE BRADY BUNCH DO THIS TO US?
WHERE WERE THEIR PARENTS?!
OR ALICE?
I USED TO THINK MARCIA WAS HOT
UNTIL SHE MAULED ME.
BAD BRADYS!
BAD!
TERRIBLE BRADYS.
BAD!
HORRIBLE.
I HATE YOU!
BAD!
THOSE POOR, POOR VICTIMS.
FOREVER SCARRED FROM A BRADY BRUISING.
IF YOU WITNESS AN ATTACK BY THE BRADY BUNCH,
PLEASE CALL OUR EMERGENCY HOTLINE...
PLEASE TUNE IN NEXT WEEK WHEN WE WILL BE DIS...
[MUSIC STARTS]
♪ WE'RE GONNA BEAT ON, BEAT ON, BEAT ON, BEAT ON ♪
♪ BEAT ON PEOPLE TONIGHT ♪
♪ WE'RE GONNA BEAT ON, BEAT ON, BEAT ON ♪
♪ WITH ALL OF OUR MIGHT ♪
♪ WE'RE GONNA BEAT ON, BEAT ON, BEAT ON YOU ♪
♪ WE'RE GONNA KICK YOU AND A-PUNCH YOU ♪
♪ TILL YOU'RE BLACK AND BLUE ♪
♪ WE'RE THE BRADY BUNCH ♪
♪ AND WE'RE GONNA KICK YOUR BUTT TONIGHT ♪
♪ AHHHHHHHHH ♪