- [Announcer] April 1st, 2013.
(dramatic instrumental music)
From Comedy Central's World News Headquarters in New York,
this is The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.
(audience cheering) (upbeat rock music)
- Hey everybody, welcome to The Daily Show,
my name is Jon Stewart!
We got a good one for you tonight,
my guest tonight, very funny author,
Mary Roach is gonna be joining us, but first!
I wanna talk to you about spring, it's finally here,
first robin, the Easter bunny, delivering to children
the unholy, tinted spawn of a chicken
and its chocolate bar lover.
(audience laughs)
The Mets undefeated in first place,
but enough about our spring!
Enough about our spring!
Of course, the Arab Spring, the flourishing of democracy
in the Middle East, countries formally run by dictatorship,
that the US mostly supported.
Eeh! (audience laughs)
Hey, just out of curiosity.
How are things going today in, I don't know, Egypt?
- The economy in Egypt, what a mess.
Unemployment at 13%, inflation's almost doubled
since November.
- [Reporter] Cairo's aging infrastructure goes untended.
- Since the revolution, we've seen tourism drop
annually about $4 billion.
- [Reporter] The huge spike in sexual assaults
against women.
- Okay, I'm gonna put you down for work in progress.
(audience laughs)
Wow!
I gotta tell ya, it sounds like this new Egyptian president,
Mohamed Morsi's got his hands full.
I can't wait to see how he tackles
these complex and urgent issues.
- Egypt's public prosecutors ordered the arrest
of popular television presenter, Bassem Youssef.
- Oh, good!
Who's that guy?
I bet he's a terror!
What's he been, sabotaging Egypt's infrastructure?
Or harassing Egyptian women on the streets,
or unemploying Egyptian people, what's he do?
- Bassem Youssef hosts a TV show
known for poking fun at the president.
(audience laughs and cheers)
- Wait a minute.
Our Bassem Youssef?
The comedian who hosts the incredibly popular weekly
political satire show, Al-Bernameg?
Now, I know Bassem pretty well.
You can imagine that I was shocked that this whole time,
I have been consorting with a criminal!
(audience laughs)
What did he do?
I'm ready, I'm ready!
- [Reporter] The country's top prosecutor
issued an arrest warrant charging the comedian
with insulting both the president and Islam.
- That's illegal?
(audience laughs)
Seriously, that's illegal in Egypt?
'Cause if insulting the president and Islam
were a jailable offense here, Fox News go bye-bye.
(audience laughs and cheers)
Yeah, they go bye-bye.
But they don't go bye-bye.
But you know, I guess the rules on freedom of expression
are a little different in Egypt.
Obviously, over there, you cannot sow hatred
or insult religion.
I'm just curious, what would something
like insulting religion sound like, anyway?
(speaking in foreign language)
- Oh, that's insulting, alright, I mean!
(audience laughs) Wow, that's, woo!
That's, I'm sure that when President Morsi hears about that,
he is going to be so ang, I'm sorry,
that is President Morsi, really?
(audience laughs)
He didn't by any chance precede those remarks with,
"Here's the sort of thing you really shouldn't say
"in Egypt," did he?
(audience chuckles)
No?
Oh.
By the way, if you are gonna nurse your children
on Zionist and Jew hatred, you really gotta breastfeed,
(audience laughs) I mean, it's the only way
to ensure that your kid gets all the antisemitic nutrients
that he needs, I mean, (audience laughs)
I guess in a pinch, you could buy Gerber's
Elders of Zion formula, but, (audience laughs)
it's a lesser product.
Nah, you know what, that was probably
a one-time thing from Morsi, we all
lose our heads occasionally, and insult religion,
even in Egypt, just once, right?
Once?
(speaking foreign language)
Okay, okay, two things!
On the descendant from apes front,
I've got some bad news for you.
(audience laughs)
It turns out, it's more common than you might think.
(audience laughs)
And as for the pig thing, come on!
You're gonna insult the Jews, you can't go
with a kosher animal, your goats?
So clearly President Morsi knows his way
around a good religious insult.
Is there anything Bassem may have done here,
perhaps concerning the President himslf?
- [Reporter] The show mocked him
when he was awarded an honorary degree in Pakistan,
and also took aim at the President's
less-than-fluent English.
- Making fun of the President's hats,
and less-than-fluent English, that was my entire career
for eight years!
(audience laughs and cheers)
Do you have any idea?
That's all I did!
And I'm sorry, you should hear what we say
about the President we supposedly like!
Barack!
You smoke so much, your lungs are the only
authentically black things about you!
(audience laughs)
Kinda reminds me, actually, of his campaign slogan,
yes we can, but should we?
(audience laughs)
What happened to Barry from the block?
(audience laughs)
Have we been fooled by the Bar-rocks that you got?
(audience laughs)
All that people that you didn't like
when someone else had it, you decided to keep it.
Oh my God, you're Frodo.
You're Frodo!
(audience laughs)
Don't arrest me!
I don't get this man!
You're the President of Egypt!
The inheritor of one of the greatest
lands and people in recorded history!
Your people invented civilization!
The Ancient Greeks went to Egypt, and were like,
"What do you got there, geometry and mythology?
(audience laughs)
"You gonna finish those, could we use those?"
(audience chuckles)
The Egyptians invented written language,
and paper, toothpaste!
People buying buried with their cats, that was you!
(audience laughs)
A style of walking people sing about, even today!
Egypt built the Great Pyramids.
Maybe you could get some of the folks who built those
to work on getting you a thicker skin!
Well, not the same people.
(audience laughs)
I obviously, I can't handle two Passovers,
I can't handle it!
(audience laughs)
So Bassem Youssef pokes fun of your hat.
And your lack of promised democratic reforms.
What are you worried about?
You're the President of Egypt, you have an army.
He's got puns in a show, you have tanks and planes,
we should know, we still have the receipts!
(audience laughs) Look!
Silencing a comedian doesn't qualify you
to be President of Egypt.
Just President of NBC, I mean!
(audience laughs and cheers) Woo!
I gotta tell ya something.
Talk about a once-proud empire.
(audience laughs)
Whatever problems you have in Egypt,
at least you didn't greenlight Smash.
(audience groans and laughs)
Look.
When you're... (audience laughs)
Sorry, a couple of bloggers just went nuts.
(audience laughs)
When you are actually powerful, you don't have to be petty.
I know, I'm petty all the time.
And the truth is, look, come here,
let me talk to you over here, come here.
(audience chuckles)
Boobie.
What are you worried about, Mr. President of Egypt?
The power of satire to overthrow the status quo?
I've been doing this crapfest for 15 years.
Granted, I'm not as popular as Bassem,
but we've had our nights.
And just so you know, there's been a grand total of
zero toppled governments we brought about during that time.
(audience laughs)
We couldn't stop the Iraq War, we tried.
I couldn't even get Jim Cramer off the air.
Jim Cramer's a money show where sound effects
give you stock investment advice, it's a--
(audience laughs)
But come on!
Charging Bassem Youssef with insulting Egypt and Islam?
I know Bassem.
Bassem is my friend, my brother!
There are two things he loves in this world
with all his heart, Egypt and Islam.
And his family.
Three things.
There's three, and the, what is that flat bread
with the cheese, it's tart, it's like a white,
it's not baba ganoush, it's like, there's four things
that he loves.
My point is, Bassem Youssef loves Egypt so much,
he chooses the live there, even though some crazy guy
is threatening to arrest him, oh, right.
Um... (audience laughs)
But by the way, without Bassem, and all those journalists,
and bloggers, and brave protesters,
who took to Tahrir Square to voice dissent,
you, President Morsi, would be in a position
to repress them.
(audience cheers) For someone who spent time
in jail yourself!
For someone...
For someone who spent time in jail yourself under Mubarak,
you seem awfully eager to send other people there
for the same non-crimes!
And just like you, they will only emerge from prison
stronger and more determined, so.
All sending comedians and bloggers
to prison accomplishes is, lowering the quality
of prison-yard athletics.
(audience laughs)
Obviously, look, you don't have to take democracy advice
from a ape pig-man like myself!
(audience laughs)
But perhaps you'll listen to this brave
Egyptian revolutionary.
- [Translator] Whoever criticizes me
has the full right to do so.
I welcome any criticism.
I welcome every opinion.
I welcome every view.
- Bassem Youssef, Amre Moussa, Mohamed ElBaradei,
they don't have to worry about going to jail?
- [Translator] They are Egyptians.
They are part of my family from Egypt.
There is no way that any harm can befall them,
because of their opinions, or their personal opposition.
- Now, that's the kind of open, democratic spirit
that a great nation like Egypt deserves.
'Cause I'm gonna let you in on a little secret,
the world is watching!
No one wants to see Egypt plunge into darkness,
democracy isn't a democracy if it only lasts
up until someone makes fun of your hat.
(audience laughs)
'Cause by the way, that was very (drowned out by laughter).
We'll be right back.
(audience cheers)