Triple Talaq - The Issue of Talaq (Divorce)
Saddam Bhatti asks:
Assalamu Alaikum. Is it necessary to say 'talaq' three times or is it enough to say it once?
Talaq is an act highly disliked by God.
God is not pleased with this.
But when we say that it is an act disliked by God and it displeases God
we should also look at the criteria given to us by God for Nikkah.
Talaq would be a disliked act by God when we marry and say the vows in light of God's teachings.
For example [Koran 33:35] 'An Momin man must marry a Momin woman; A Zakir man must marry a Zakir woman.'
In such cases, if you have kept God and Prophet Mohammad's commands in perspective while marrying someone -
since it was done in light of their teachings, a Momin man will have married a Momin woman and a Zakir man would have married a Zakir woman
and if a Momin man has married a Momin woman then, of course, a divorce would be distasteful.
An enlightened man and woman should be able to forgive each other.
However, if you did not pay heed to the commands of God and Prophet Mohammad while marrying
then why do you apply Sharia to every other aspect of life?
You started off wrong.
The talaq that would displease God which terminates the Nikkah done upon God's directives.
What do you say?
But if an enlightened man marries an unenlightened woman and they get a divorce, it would not displease God.
When you did not consider God's directives while marrying then why are you reminded of them when getting a divorce?
God's directives should have been priority from the beginning.
You will notice that when an enlightened man and woman marry, the divine energy in them keeps them calm and collected.
It doesn't let matters reach to divorce.
It keeps them on good terms with each other.
Neither the man nor the woman would turn into satans because they both possess divine energy,
and there will never be a need for a divorce.
God's directives about situations worsening in a marriage is for the man to give the woman one talaq.
What does that do?
If the wife is an enlightened woman then she may feel remorse and reconcile with the husband thus saving the marriage.
The Nikkahs amongst Muslims today are not based upon the religion.
If you didn't marry in accordance with the religion then why are you applying Sharia while you get a divorce?
When you married, you only looked at the wealth of the family and the dowry you would receive.
You made plans to ask for an apartment and a car and this and that.
You didn't remember the religion at that time.
But when matters reached to divorcing then you turned to the religion, thinking 'What should we do?'
You can do whatever you like.
Only turn to the religion in matters of divorce when you married in accordance with the religion.
People no longer marry in accordance with the religion. And if they do,
it will be done as a showoff. What do they do? When they have to make the mandatory payments
the bride's family will ask for the largest amount so that the groom thinks twice before divorcing her.
Alright! Write down 50,00, 000 as the Mehr amount.
The groom wouldn't have that amount to give so he would never think about divorce.
Isn't that what happens?
When they write down such large sums like 50 000
the bride and the groom's families quarrell over this.
Wherever someone is getting married they say the mandatory payments must be in accordance with Sharia.
That is the only time they remember the religion.
Right?
But when the Mehndi ceremonies are carried out, the boys and girls dance together.
They create an uproar in their celebrations and go against the Sharia.
Most importantly, if you are a Muslim then you have the directives of Prophet Mohammad when it comes to marriage.
Prophet Mohammad said, 'People marry for different reasons: money, beauty, family tree.'
Prophet Mohammad told his companions, 'But when you marry a girl, marry her for the sake of religiosity.'
And then Prophet Mohammad also said, 'Marry the one that you love.'
If someone has a love affair in the Muslim community, they are shamed.
The name and the terminology create some confusion
'Oh, these people have a love affair.' Okay, so what is love affair in Urdu?
And that is what Prophet Mohammad said, 'Marry the one you love.'
This is a Prophetic Tradition but the clerics have destroyed the religion.
You understand?
When you order something on Amazon, they have images of the item from every angle
like if you want to purchase a phone case, they will have images from every angle for you to see.
After seeing so many images one wants to quickly purchase. 1, 2, 3 and sold!
Then you wait for the item to be delivered but you have already seen it.
But when it comes to marriage, our parents go and set the marriage and the one we will spend the rest of our lives with will be introduced to us on the wedding day.
This is wrong. This is not Islam.
Now, when we repeat the Prophetic Tradition which states you should marry the one you love
people in our society take a completely different meaning of love.
What kind of love should you have for the one you are going to marry?
The first instruction of the Prophet is to marry a religious woman.
You will only like a religious woman if you are a religious man yourself.
If you're a religious man, you will like a religious woman, right?
But it's a different story if someone finds a religious woman at the age of 65
when he realises that his wife will be the First Lady so she should be sensible.
Now, if both you and your wife are religious then you will like her religiosity.
Make sense?
And after that you will look at her appearance and mannerisms.
Then you can love her; like a click of a button.
The method of love in our society is no longer the same as the one prescribed by Prophet Mohammad.
Now, let's talk about talaq.
The Nikkahs today are not done upon the directives of God
therefore, God would only be displeased with a talaq which terminates a marriage done upon God's directives.
So you can say talaq ten times, God doesn't care.
You didn't marry in light of God's directives anyway.
Prophet Mohammad's directive for talaq is to give time; to be gentle and kind to your wife
and after the divorce, do not start tallying all the gifts you have given her; let her keep them.
And a talaq should be done in the highly unavoidable cases.
It shouldn't be that if your wife doesn't cook food and you say, 'Talaq!'
'You didn't make me a milkshake? Talaq!'
No, this is not the right method for talaq.
Right?
And let me tell you the state of Muslims in Pakistan, especially in the villages
but also in the cities: people have said talaq 100 times to their wives and they still live together.
Isn't that right?
Especially places like Pind
if the husband gives talaq, the parents say, 'Oh no no, it's alright. There's no problem.'
This is what happens in Pakistan.
Am I wrong?
The talaq happens, they sit together and say, 'It's alright. There's no need to call a cleric, we say it is alright.'
Well, it doesn't make a difference for those who do not follow God's directives in the religion. They have nothing to do with the religion.
But giving all three talaq at once, 'Talaq, talaq, talaq,' like this is prohibited.
It is not allowed.
If your wife is pregnant you cannot divorce her.
Even if you say talaq it will not count.
Because she is pregnant.
Many scholars say that you can divorce your pregnant wife but it will come into action later.
Thar's what many scholars say.
But what is the point of that?
Whether it is done right away or later.
Before worrying about the issues of divorce you should find out the issues of marriage.
The marriage done upon the directives of God and Prophet Mohammad, it is possible that it will not be terminated.
A girl got married in the era of Prophet Mohammad
and after her marriage, instead of spending time with her husband she went running to Prophet Mohammad.
Prophet Mohammad asked, 'What the matter?' The girl was crying.
The Prophet asked, 'Why do you cry?' She replied, 'My parents forced me to get married.'
The Prophet asked if it was against her will and when she said yes, the companions were sent to fetch the husband
and the Prophet said, 'I, Mohammad, the Messenger of God hereby terminate your Nikkah
In light of this incident, how can you force your son or daughter to get married?
The Prophet didn't even mention talaq, the Nikkah was done on his name and he was the one to terminate it.
And Prophet Mohammad told the girl's parents to get her married to the one she likes.
But there is no such thing in India and Pakistan.
They force their children to get married.
This is against Islam.
Islam gives you the total right to marry whoever you love.
In Pakistan, if a girl likes someone and wants to marry him, her parents will become her enemy.
If the boy and the girl get a court marriage then the parents have them both killed.
And this is the Muslim society.
This is terrible thing but at least you guys should understand
that when you marry, you keep in perspective the directives of God and Prophet Mohammad.
You understand?
When we get our people married, it is the same as the marriages in Prophet Mohammad's era.
And how His Divine Eminence got people married.
Everyone is sitting down and the question is asked, 'You want to marry him/her? Okay, let's go.'
No issue of dowry or anything else.
A lot of problems are solved.
If the family is well-established then they can give a loan to the other family to help them out.
They could start a business, they have to make a new home.
But dowry is un-Islamic.