Mr. & Mrs. Mountbatten-Windsor correct?
Well, to be
Exciting!
- Wait! Prince Harry? - Yes
Good lord!
What seems to be the problem with your relaysh?
Well we are great and I love Megan very much
Yes we're very much in love
but we're having a few problems communicating
it's quite natural you use different words, and it can be quite miffing (Annoying)
I find, for couples such as yourselves
Um, no, I literally do not understand this man
and I don't know why
We'll be having a chinwag (Conversation) just a bog-standard (Normal) chinwag
and she starts whinging (Complaining)
"Oh my god Harry why are you saying these words!?"
I do not sound like that
Well you do
Anyway look
As Princess Megan,
I just want to make sure that our marriage is off to a good start
I don't want there to be any communication problems between us
Ah this is a bit of awkward
They obviously haven't told you they're not actually going to give you the title of...
...Princess
I'm not going to be a princess
Meghan it's really fine, don't worry about it
"Duchess"!
What's a Duchess?
Duchess and Princess are basically the same thing
No! No! They are not the same. Not like at all!
of Sussex!
What's a Sussex?
It's the place of which you'll be Duchess!
Look please don't throw a wobbly (Get angry)!
What's a wobbly?
Well you're getting shirty (Aggressive) with me
Shirty!?
Why don't you understand me?
Because you don't talk right!
You are the reason for our breakdown in communication!
Codswallop! (Nonsense!) Absolute codswallop!
Now you're just making up words!
Every bloody time
Well yes my wife is actually from the US
We haven't actually understood each other for many years
She's from Arkansas, that's right, yes!
Arkansas?
Bless you!
So how often do you find these problems arise generally?
Whenever we go out
We can't even enjoy going out for fish and chips without arguing
There! did you hear that?
I did yes, awful!
What?
Why do you say it like that?
Fish and chips?
Yes exactly, why do you put the accent on the "Fish"?
That's how you say it
No it's not, we've had this conversation many times
Fish and chips!
FISH and chips
Fish and CHIPS!
I'm literally saying what you're saying
Look I'm gonna give you both a little exercise to do next time you go out
I mean this weekend have you got any plans at all?
Bits and bobs (Little unimportant things)
Who's Bob? We don't know any Bobs
No no, "bits and bobs" it's like "Odds and sods"
Oh my god will you please talk right!?
Look, um, what you have to remember is, most importantly
is that you love each other
You know misunderstandings are just very superficial really
okay so I'm not going to faff around (Waste time)
You know, it's all going to be tickety-boo (Fine)
when you get back at the end of a long day
And you're feeling a bit cream-crackered (Tired) shall we say
I don't know, she's being a bit gobby (Talking loudly)
Well I mean he, perhaps his breath might be a bit sort of minging (bad-smelling), as it were
plonk yourselves down (Sit down) and have a bit of a snog (Kiss)
You know if you don't snog (Kiss) enough, then you can run into all sorts of Barney (Trouble) frankly
So if I come back from the Boozer (Pub) all trollied (Drunk)?
Yeah! Little snog (Kiss)!
If she's got the lurgy (Has a cold)?
Little snog
Then Bob's your uncle (Simple)! Our relationship's fixed!
Yes because otherwise you'll be gutted because your relationship will just go pear-shaped
and by the time you pop your clogs (Die)
you'll have spent so many years in a rubbish (Bad) marriage
Are you kidding me right now?
I'm not winding you up, love. It's a doddle (It's easy)
Great!
Thank you!
Yes, thank you!
"Aluminium", that's another word they don't pronounce the same as us
It's true