if there's one thing that you take away from listening or watching today's podcast
it's that only you can decide how hard something is going to be you are in control of deciding
how difficult that thing is going to be on you
i'm so glad you're here today welcome i'm christine your host and this is another
episode of everyday badassery a traveling podcast that's stories from the field while
i'm traveling to inspire you to be just a little bit more badass today than you were
yesterday and in last week's episode we heard from lou aka meatball aka my boyfriend in a really
tough time that he went through and in today's episode i'm going to be sharing my side of that
story and some of the learnings that i had and in case you missed that episode the short story of it
is that in april earlier this year in april 2021 meatball got really really sick and for reasons
we don't know and for about a four-month period of time there were moments in which i honestly felt
like he was not going to make it he was insanely sick and on a daily basis was on a 10 out of 10
scale of pain and it was one of the most difficult moments of my life to watch somebody who i really
really love literally deflate before my eyes as he lost 35 pounds in the period of two weeks and
was so bedridden that he could not use his hands he could barely see and he was barely recognizable
those are really tough times but there are a couple
badass moments that i had during that time that i wanted to share with you in case it helps you
to be a little bit more badass in your day or inspire you to think about those difficult times a
little bit more differently one of the big badass lessons that i had was the realization that i just
needed to release control and what i mean by that is oftentimes when we are going through
a really difficult time we want to do we want to have as many actions as possible
to try to control a situation and turn it in the direction that we want it to go in
at that time there were moments in which lou was going through dozens of tests seeing doctor after
doctor after doctor and we were coming up dry not knowing what was wrong and not feeling like
we were progressing in a forward manner and there were moments in which i just i knew i knew that
we were doing all of the right things seeing all the right people but it was only a matter of time
until we would be able to get the answers and the results that we were looking for
these are the moments where it's super hard to keep my ship together and see him put on the
hospital wristband and walk back with the nurse to the surgery room because i can't go with him
i have to wait in the waiting room and i was google searching to see how long it should take
and it was the couple says it should only take like 15 minutes to an hour so when they tell me
he's gonna be back there for two to two and a half hours and i get it shannon was super nice and she
was telling me why you know so they have to put the iv in him yes the rest afterwards and stuff
really hard to focus and do anything when we did not kind of work because they do have wi-fi here
like lou talked about it's not going to be on our timetable and i also needed to release control
and literally just say a prayer and just have hope during that moment and he talked a lot
about hope and that's one of the things at least for me in 2020 such a hard year for everybody
that having that light at the end of the tunnel where you just know things will they have to be
better than what they are right now there's just no other choice and having that hope and just
having that knowing in your heart is enough to release control and just let it go say a prayer
and just hope for the best because you've done enough things to set the right actions in motion
and there's a comes a point that you just got to let go and you just have to hold hope
and so that was my badass moment in which i just didn't i didn't need answers
anymore i just needed to keep going and actually that's that's the second piece to keep going
and during this time this four months is a really long time and if those you who don't know how much
i travel i have not been in one place for more than three weeks in over seven years if you do the
simple math on that basically i travel a lot and i'm constantly on the move and so during this time
i had to spend as much time as possible in south florida literally taking care of feeding
giving him water dressing him taking care of low which there was nowhere else in the world i would
rather have been i wanted to be there but there were also moments in which everything i was doing
was going to go into a black hole if i didn't keep creating throughout this and so there's two
lessons kind of packed into this my badass moments were one i just kept going i kept going because
even though we were going through a really tough time and i was giving myself just like
lou was we were giving ourselves a lot of grace and we were not doing as much as we normally do
the same time in the same way he was still going out and doing his private events doing his his
weddings he was still djing at this time i did not stop creating i never stopped creating i
never stopped doing and part of that to be totally honest helped me to feel like there was progress
at least in one part of my life in other words going back to the original message which was about
you can't be in control of everything and you only you can decide how hard this time is going to be
i feel like it would be a harder time if both lou was sick i dropped everything and took care
of him and my life and my creator life came to a complete stop and so examples of what that meant
on my side and if you dig into my com into my content you'll start to see like oh it makes sense
etc like i understand that she was going through a hard time during this time i consistently still
posted for example on instagram every single day during this time if not every other day
i never went dark or went quiet on my channels but it did mean that on my youtube travel channel
trips where i was expected to be gone for weeks at a time i was supposed to be in tulum mexico for a
month and i shortened that trip to four days it was the most intense four days and if you watch
my vlog what it's like traveling on holbox island you'll see the intensity of that trip which to be
totally honest a lot of my trips are that intense but that one was upped just a little bit because
i had such a short period of time to create and if you go and look at how many videos i created
out of those four days of travel it's a lot i have a ton of youtube videos on hobash island
and cancun from that trip because i never stopped working i never stopped going i never
stopped moving forward because like what are we supposed to do during these tough times right
sit and sulk on the couch about how miserable and how bad things are and a lot of people ask
me why like oh my gosh like how do you know how to have so much fun like why are why do
you know how to how to have such a good time and it's like to be honest it's because i have seen
and experienced the darkness to be able to appreciate the light and i in an old life
went through a really tough time with my divorce and both with that and with this moment in my life
and so many others i simply put on the this is going to be a shitty roller coaster seatbelt and
what i mean by that is i fully embraced that this was going to be a really tough time and instead
of fighting it and instead of saying wow this hard time is so hard oh my gosh it was really hard but
instead of like glorifying in that difficult time instead i was like yo this is going to be tough
put on the seat belt it's going to be a ride get the supplies you need namely a couple boxes of
kleenex and several cases of wine and let's go and that was just the mindset i had which is why
in my story with lou we talk about how we still had fun we still had laughter and we
still had joy in this really really tough time and again it goes back to because only we can decide
how difficult this time is going to be and so i chose to embrace the difficult
the difficult time i chose to keep going i hope you hear this podcast you hear this episode
it inspires you to think about those difficult times just a little bit more differently
i feel like i am a badass at dealing with difficult things because instead of fighting it
i embrace it i understand that the journey of life isn't always going to be rainbows and butterflies
and unicorns there are tough times it's part of life and when those tough times happen if you can
lean into it and just ride it out and be the best person for yourself that you can be at that time
giving yourself the grace you need having hope throughout the whole thing knowing there's a
light at the end of the tunnel and knowing that you can only only you can decide how difficult
how hard it's going to be on you it will make those tough times feel a little bit easier in my
opinion and it will also mean that when you have the awesome amazing times you can celebrate them
a thousand times more than you could otherwise because you can truly appreciate it
i'm your host i'm christine this podcast is available both on
youtube and everywhere podcasts are available if you enjoyed it consider
checking out the show notes leave a review it really helps us to get this distributed
and i will see you in the next adventure go forth be a badass and i'll see you soon ciao