- Wow, I feel so much better after this session.
Thank you so much.
- You'd be surprised how much it helps people
just to have someone listen to them,
or at least for them to think someone's listening to them.
(happy music)
- So, yeah, I'm just feeling extremely depressed.
- I'm gonna write you a prescription.
- A cross country road trip to Las Vegas.
- And to make sure you get the most effective dosage,
I'm going with you.
- What?
- Let's go, it's a 72 hour drive.
- So that's when I realized I have abandonment issues.
Where'd you go?
This is my childhood all over again.
- Now I'm a big believer in hugging it out.
- Okay?
- Our marriage is in shambles,
and you think hugging each other is gonna fix it?
- No, of course not.
I meant you hug me.
So who's going first?
Jeffrey, I can see you're champing at the bit
for a warm, but professional, hug.
Bring it in.
- All I care about is finding a solution that works,
so what have you tried so far?
- I've changed my diet,
changed my sleep,
changed my friends.
Nothing works.
I'm still depressed.
- Have you just tried to stop feeling bad?
- What?
- If you feel bad,
and you don't wanna feel bad anymore,
just stop feeling bad.
It's the only thing that makes sense.
Okay, that'll be $200.
- What?
- Cash only, please.
- So what was going through your head
when your ex-girlfriend called you an insufferable,
emotionally stunted, mama's boy, man-child?
- I felt horrible,
like my heart was being ripped out of my chest.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
I'm gonna stop you there.
I didn't ask about your heart.
I asked about your head.
This is cognitive therapy, okay?
If you want feelings based therapy,
you're gonna have to see my therapist.
- I've just been feeling inferior,
like I'm not as good as everyone else.
- You need strenuous physical activity.
Start doing Brazilian jujitsu.
- Okay,
and, like, I've just also had a lot of anxiety.
- You need more protein.
Eat steak.
- Also, I've just been feeling sad, because-
- Suppress the emotion.
- Is that healthy?
- Eat steak.
- What?
- Practice jujitsu.
- Okay.
- Have you ever tried keeping a gratitude journal?
Finding just three things that make your day brighter
can really take the edge off.
- You do understand that my wife left me for my best friend,
right?
- And that's two people
you'll never have to socialize with again.
This is a great head start,
you only need to find one more thing you're grateful for.
- Is this a joke?
- Laughter, yes.
That's three things right there.
Great job.
- I've been working long hours,
and it has taken a toll on my relationships.
I'm sorry, are you doodling right now
instead of listening to me?
- No, no, no, no, no.
This is actually a new technique
that I've been wanting to use.
It's art therapy.
- Then shouldn't I be the one doing the art?
- No, you're thinking of some other kind of art therapy.
It's very different.
Continue.
- I just can't help but wonder
could I have done more to save our marriage?
- Okay, stop right there.
- Okay.
- What we need,
is music therapy.
- Oh,
I don't, I don't play.
- It's easy.
It's in drop D tuning,
you just play a bunch of power chords.
- I'm sorry, what?
- Let me show you.
Just take everything you're feeling,
and put it into rock.
♪ Hey, you listen to this, ex-wife ♪
♪ I don't need you anymore in my life ♪
- So that's when my last therapist said,
"That's not your personality.
That's a personality disorder."
(therapist laughs)
- Man, those therapy jokes,
they get me every time.
- Yeah, that wasn't a joke.
- So let me get this straight.
You were in a terrible car accident
that put you in a coma for six months.
- Mm-hm.
- And upon waking you discovered
that the surgeon who saved your life,
is actually your long lost twin brother.
- Yep.
- And then you and your brother decide to switch lives,
and so now you are pretending to be a brain surgeon.
- Yep, that about sums it up.
- OMG, tell me more.
- You said you wanted to improve your social life.
- Yes.
- But you can't even call to order a pizza
without having a panic attack.
- That is correct.
- Send them in.
- What was that?
Send who in?
- 30 strangers are about to walk through that door.
For the rest of this session
you're gonna introduce yourself
to each and every one of them.
(patient stutters)
It's exposure therapy.
It works 95% of the time.
- What about the other 5%?
(door knocks)
- Oh, and here they are.
- Yeah, so that happened when I was 10, and-
(therapist sniffs)
- I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Keep going.
- Do you need a minute?
- No, no, it's just-
Your story is just pulling at
my very sensitive heartstrings.
- My story was about losing the sixth grade spelling bee.
- I feel like I was there with you,
spelling the word "sketch" with a C instead of a K.
- So, anyway-
- Just devastating.
- Start in a comfortable position,
breathe in through your nose, and through your mouth-
And out through your mouth.
(patient takes deep breath)
Continue breathing, allowing yourself to relax.
Note to therapist, as client breathes,
study their face for signs of panic disorder,
including trembling or intense sweats.
- Okay, this is making me more anxious.
Are you sure we're doing this right?
- Of course we are.
It's all here in the manual.
- Whew, man, I am so glad to be here today.
I just gotta vent about my mom's new boyfriend.
- Sorry, no can-do.
I am sick of providing emotional support for everybody,
and getting nothing in return.
- But you're my therapist.
- Yeah, that's what my friends and family
have been telling me my whole life.
- But like, literally like, that's your job.
You get paid money for it.
That's your license there on the wall.
- This thing?
What do you-
You think that this thing means
that I'm some kind of emotional expert?
(paper rips)
I don't have all the answers, okay?
- So what you're saying is,
that I don't have to have all the answers either,
that I can fake it until I make it.
You're a genius.
- Oh, stop.
- No, I mean, like really.
- It just comes naturally to me.
♪ They say a stranger's come to town ♪
♪ They call him Mr Frank James ♪